To feel gutted?

[ToffeePennie]

Myself and my husband always said for our 6 year wedding anniversary we would do something really special (don’t know why 6 years but it seemed important to us). We’ve always talked with our families about how special and magical it will be, even if it’s just a night out. We have been very clear on this one.
This morning a close relative of my husband announced her (big) birthday party to take place the same night as our anniversary. This is to coordinate with another relative who is attending a posh dinner the weekend before.
I’m gutted. After all our careful plans, taste testing a couple of restaurants, arranging for our children to sleepover at grandparents and planning outfits and stuff, it now seems it’s more important that my husband attend this relatives party.
The rest of his family (who knew our plans) have made it very clear we need to attend this party, and ignore our anniversary plans or put them on hold because this big birthday is more important.
I don’t know what to do. this birthday is important and now instead of looking forward to a meal and a night “off” I’m looking at a night of wrangling my kids and eating pub food in the back room with loads of my husbands family. I’m just really gutted now and Aibu to feel disappointed? (The babysitters aren’t free until November now)

Tbh celebrating your 6th Anniversary with any pomp whatsoever is so unusual your husband's family probably thought you were joking.

At the end of the day, do what's right for you (and your husband!), and own the decision you make.

I'm another one wondering why 6 is such an important number. Iron and sugar isn't it? You are, of course, entitled to celebrate in any way that you would like, and I would also be cross if something else was organised on the same day. But as it's not one of the more conventional "biggies", I'm not surprised that other people don't understand why it's so important to you.

It’s important to OP and her DH and that’s what matters.

I'm struggling with six years being special and magical. Go to the party or don't, it's not a summons!

Cannot understand at all why this means so much to you.

If this , in the scheme of things, very minor issue leaves you gutted then I think you have too much time on your hands . Surely if you’ve been ‘taste testing’ restaurants that means you’ve been and eaten at them so it’s not like you never go out . A six year anniversary really is no big deal , go out for the seventh instead .

You sound extremely intense

I'd personally go to the party as a milestone birthday would be more important in my opinion but then the six year mark wasn't as important to me as it seems to be to you.

It’s important to OP and her DH and that’s what matters.

To the point of taste testing restaurants? That's what people do before booking a wedding. Not a meal out.

However, its not hugle important to other people, so why would they avoid that date?

If you are making such a huge deal of your 6th anniversary, I can't imagine what you will be wanting to do for your 60th, or 70th which my Aunt and Uncle celebrated a couple of years ago.

I really think YWBU not to attend a big family party. No-one else cares it's your anniversary and surely you could celebrate the week before or after; wouldn't want to waste those restaurant taste testings.

It’s important to OP and her DH and that’s what matters.

Well yes, it’s clearly of immense importance to them, but for some reason they think this magical, special event should matter just as much to their entire family too - which it understandably (and rather sensibly) does not.

Because OP told them in advance just how magical she thought her 6th anniversary has to be.

6th or not, doesn’t matter.

Magical for her and him

Doesnt mean everyone else has to not doing anything that night. Even if that is the only night that works for the others to have the party.

Reverse ?
How close are you to the birthday person

Are you disappointed because you thought you were going out without children and could relax or are you actually bothered about your 6th anniversary?
Because the night out if they are quite rare is understandable. The feelings around your 6th anniversary isn't.

Because OP told them in advance just how magical she thought her 6th anniversary has to be.

How magical it has to be to be to her and her husband - it doesn’t have to matter to anyone else, and to expect that it would, and that the extended family would arrange their milestone birthday plans around this, is utterly bizarre.

Look, I can’t decide whether OP is being U or not, but I can understand her being disappointed and pissed off.

Surely you would have known a close family member had a milestone birthday coming up around the date of your wedding anniversary. Stop being a spoiled brat. You sound like you could cause a fuss in an empty room.

Have you actually booked the restaurant ? Sorry if I missed that bit.

If everything is booked and you have all your plans set, the family should understand and you ANBU to be upset.

I would personally change our plans, as a special birthday only comes around once and all my other family would be there, so I would enjoy it and then celebrate my anniversary the next weekend, but that is only me, you would not be unreadable at all to not attend,

Plus you say the kids were spending their night at the grandparents then say your baby sitters aren't free again until November? I definitely smell bull jobbies.

I feel that this might be a reverse. Also interested in the difference between eating at a restaurant and taste testing one?

I'm struggling to see why either of these events is so important it's worth getting upset about tbh.

I'm place marking. I've been out once for our wedding anniversary, in 17 years. That was the once that I collapsed and ended up in hospital

Could you not make the birthday your night out too? Get a different sitter, go to this party and toast your anniversary with your husband. All your family will be together with lots of happy occasions happening.

It's all very ott