Child trust fund difference between siblings

[PookieDo]

My DC were born when the child trust fund money was being allocated back in early 2000’s

Eldest child got one £250 lump at birth and another when 7yo, the other child only had 1 £250 lump at birth and did not get another when she was 7, which was late 2011 because I think it was scrapped in Jan 2011.

So DD1 already had more than DD2. ExDP was supposed to help pay money in but he never did and I wasn’t in a good financial position to have savings for them as single mum low on a low income. They live with me and he pays (shit but) regular maintenance

I have had both their statements posted to me this year as I moved house (and DD1 now has control over hers until she is 18) and DD1’s has done much much better than DD2’s where it has been invested and also as it was a larger amount to begin!

I want to put some money into DD2’s now because I am in a better financial position and to make it fairer but DD1 feels this is unfair of me to not give her the same amount of money. I do see her point but she is already better off!

AIBU to make it fairer or WIBU to give money to DD2 and not DD1? I could do it without DD1 knowing but I do not want to, that isn’t the type of parent I want to be

Making them equal isn't unfair. Your older daughter is just being greedy. As she is now an adult she needs to learn that.

DD1 feels this is unfair of me to not give her the same amount of money

Why are you even discussing this with DD1. You tell not discuss. "DD1, DD2, because we invested different amounts as the scheme was scrapped, I'm going to make DD2s CTF up to the same amount at age 18 that DD!s was at 18" End of.

Same thing happened with me. I made sure that by the time they were 18 they all had the same.

Your eldest is being unfair.

I’d be telling your older daughter that I was ashamed of her.

I think that if you can afford it, you should make them equal - so when DD2 reaches 18, top hers up to what DD1 had at 18.
It's none of DD1's business anyway - I would just tell her you are making them equal and not discuss further.

It's greedy of DD1 to want more than her sister - it's only luck of the draw that she got more, she hasn't done anything to earn it.

DD1 is being greedy and unfair. She'd definitely think differently if it was her own trust fund that had less. I wouldn't even discuss this with her or take her opinion into account to be honest.

Your eldest sounds entitled. But then again she could be a normal 18 year old.

It’s not your fault the government changed the rules. It’s nice of you to make them equal by savings for Dd2

DD1 is being ridiculous - is she always jealous of her sister? They will both end up with the same money, which is fair. How would she feel if the roles were reversed?

when DD2’s statement arrived it ended up being discussed as we were all in the same room. That is when I said I wanted to make DD2’s up.

I think DD1 feels that this wasn’t my money in the first place anyway and therefore this would be some kind of favouritism.

Yes, ask her how she'd feel if she was the one getting less.

Also tell her that her attitude is making you think again about ever helping her financially in the future.

Also you put more money into DD1's account than into DD2's back then. So you're just making a late payment into DD2's

Making it equal is not being unfair. I would do the same as you.

Bloody hell if I ever had to have this conversation with my kids I’d be thoroughly ashamed of them.

I'd be so angry with DD1, actually. I'd be horrified if my daughters thought this way. And would definitely withdraw future help.

We were in the same situation and made arrangements so that DD2 would end up with equivalent savings. You can certainly tell your eldest that lots of parents have done this. She was lucky enough to get free money from the government and should be glad about that.

DD1 is 16, so she’s not really seeing this in an adult way as such and yes she is often jealous of her sister!

It’s not a small amount either it’s about £900
DD has a few more years of hers being invested so my idea was to make it up to what DD’s is when hers ends

We just split DD's when it became payable and then intend to do the same with DS's when he comes of age. That way they're both equal.

Eldest is nearly 17 and youngest nearly 15

Tell her she is correct and as it was government money and not earned,she can share hers with her sister to make them equal amounts.
And then you will top up both of them to a higher amount.

She can't argue with her own logic!

Life isn't fair. Children need to learn this. It's not DC1's fault the rules changed to nobble child DC2.

Kids need to understand, sometimes things happen that just aren't fair, and you have to suck it up and deal with it.

Blimey, My DD was a little early to get given the CTF voucher, so doesn't have the same amount in her ISA as her younger DS has in his CTF, but we haven't had these conversations at all.

It's not favouritism to want your children to receive equal amounts and I'm sure your daughter knows this on some level. I'd have a conversation with her about how she'd feel and what she'd want to happen if she was in her sisters position. If she still refuses to apply any empathy or kindness to the situation then that's tough. Whatever you decide, one of them will feel it's unfair. I'd rather upset the grabby one than leave the younger one both financially disadvantaged and justifiably feeling like you've given into her sister's selfish temper tantrum.

Wow that is entitled. At least she got it, does she understand that? They should both have the same amount if you can afford it.