Xarra you are invalidating people who do not share your worldview. Given that your worldview incorporates the primacy of validation, this seems ironic.
Let me tell you another story.
Once upon a time, very effeminate boys sometimes believed they could navigate a sexist and homophobic world more easily, with less mental anguish, if they were permitted to present to the world as heterosexual females. They were given surgeries and hormones to facilitate this illusion. Their acceptance into the social group 'women' was done out of kindness.
At the same time, many heterosexual boys were learning to objectify the female form and fetishise the feminine gender that is forced on females. Some took this to extremes, and took to wearing women's clothes in public and committing sexual offences against females while doing so.
There are a great many more males falling into the second category than the first. This has always been so. The second category represents a significant risk to female women; perhaps even greater than that posed by male men. The first category poses no direct risk to female women.
Once upon a time, we called the first group of males transsexuals. We called the second group transvestites. Now, we lump both together under the word transgender.
"Transgender" when applied to males covers both the first group (a very small subset of males) and the second group (a significantly larger and more dangerous subset of males).
For both subsets of males, sexism is at the very root of the 'story' through which they understand themselves to be women.
If one subset of males is at risk from other males, then let us have separate facilities for male men and male women. If one subset of females is at risk from other females, then let us have separate facilities for female women and female men. Four separate facilities, subdivided by both sex and 'gender identity'. Maximum safety for all is ensured in this way.
Also, Xarra, I feel you might find certain subreddits enlightening. Sissy porn and forced feminisation are a big thing in porn right now. I have seen post after post of males wondering if they might be transgender after training themselves to become aroused and achieve orgasm through imagining themselves being forced to submit to that most degrading of things, femininity.
I have seen the responses they get. I have seen the affirmation that they are women. Insisting these males do not got through this experience and come to understand themselves as women is tremendously invalidating for AGPs. It is transphobic.