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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Very difficult situation DP v DBro. AIBU for DBro to charge DP rent?

321 replies

Jetsetterf · 08/07/2019 21:09

I'm buying a flat in joint names with DBro. DBro is putting money into the flat as an investment but the flat is being bought for me to live in.

The flat is in a different city to where DP currently lives. I've previously said to DP if he moves in I wouldn't charge him rent. DP has applied for a job in the city where the flat is.

I wouldn't charge DP rent on my share but would DBro be unreasonable to charge DP a reduced rate of rent on his share?

DP is now angry at me because I didn't tell him he may have to pay rent on DBro's share and he said he wouldn't have applied for the job in the city the flat is in if he had known. I said I wouldn't charge him rent, but I have no control over DBro's share and surely he is being unreasonable to expect DBro to let him live there rent free?

OP posts:
Original poster
Jetsetterf · 08/07/2019 22:04

Ok here are the figures.

60k deposit. 5k from bro, 4k from me, rest is a loan from parents/grandparents.

Property price 143k.

Monthly mortgage £260ish I believe.

OP posts:
BumbleBeee69 · 08/07/2019 22:04

he's a massive CF Cocklodger.. your DBro has done you a favour getting the heads up on this Leach.. before he moved into rent fricking free.. WTF are you thinking OP. Hmm

Yesicancancan · 08/07/2019 22:05

I wouldn’t move in with someone who expected to live rent free then has a tantrum.

KTara · 08/07/2019 22:05

With your DB, surely you are only paying the mortgage - why are you paying him rent as well, given that you are paying his half of the mortgage? Are you sure you are not paying more than him?
Also, if only you are living in it and paying the full mortgage and/or rent (although I am confused why you would pay both), it is surely up to you who stays there under what conditions. Your DB is seeking to make extra money from your DP.

Your DP on the other hand is looking to not pay any rent or housing costs at all, which is unrealistic and I agree with the poster who said beware resentment as he saves and you pay housing costs...

I do not think this situation is great due to both the arrangement with your DB (which I do not really understand) and the fact that your DP seems to think he can live there for free - at the very least, he should be paying a share of what you pay in mortgage or rent.

OhtheHillsareAlive · 08/07/2019 22:06

So your boyfriend was expecting to live rent-free? He's the one being unreasonable.

TowelNumber42 · 08/07/2019 22:06

No don't do a spreadsheet. Ask your DP how much he would be happy to spend on rent and bills while living with you. You already know the answer: none.

Look, he doesn't actually want to live with you. If he did, if he saw a future, he would pay his way.

Is he some ultra amazing guy?

MagneticSingularity · 08/07/2019 22:06

Read the update, why are you paying the full mortgage AND planning to pay rent to your brother? It should be either/or surely. Sorry OP but it sounds like both these men saw you coming.

Hahaha88 · 08/07/2019 22:06

Sorry I misunderstood and thought op brother was living there too. Of course I wouldn't expect him to contribute to bills in a house he doesn't live in. Apologies.
However, if you're paying the full mortgage why should your brother get rent on top too either from your dp now or from you in the future? I don't understand why you'd pay him rent in two years at all? You're literally paying his share of the mortgage, for which he'll reap the benefits of when you sell up. I'm really confused

How long have you been dating this guy?
If he's living rent free with his parents with the intention of saving to buy that's not CF behaviour IMO and is something a lot of people do. If you've said well live with me rent free too so you can save and are now saying well actually it's going to be £200 a month to my brother, plus, of course, half the bills, that's a considerable dent in his saving potential and personally I'd stay at my parents til I could afford to buy if I was him

almostn9ne · 08/07/2019 22:06

Great. Bear in mind things like the fact that over time you may well have paid more into the house than your brother has - for things like repairs and general upkeep costs. I can't think of anything else off the top of my head but as I said, it's messy so I would recommend you get someone (a feminist someone) to look over your plans before you go ahead.

HollowTalk · 08/07/2019 22:07

-DP lives rent free at his parents house
-He doesn't want to pay rent anywhere because he doesn't want to pay towards anyone's mortgage

Unbelievable. If you marry this man you are in for a long, unhappy life.

KTara · 08/07/2019 22:07

You have paid off the extra 1k your brother put in if you pay the mortgage alone for eight months surely (instead of going halves) so why are you paying it for two years and then paying rent? So confused...

WillLokireturn · 08/07/2019 22:07

Omg. Your DP is a cocklodger.
You don't own all the flat.
Your DB owns half.
Seriously your DP is outrageous. Why would you promise him he doesn't have to pay anything, that's your flat your investment and your brother's. He isn't paying yourorthage he's be paying his way because you are his fucking parents and he is a frigging adult.

Dint let him move in as you will regret this. He already expects a free ride in life.

TowelNumber42 · 08/07/2019 22:08

How did you react when your bf got annoyed at you? How was the conversation left?

Original poster
Jetsetterf · 08/07/2019 22:08

Because I'll be living in the property, DBro expects that I'll pay more.

OP posts:
NoLeopard · 08/07/2019 22:08

I think you need legal advice. In two years' time you will be paying the full mortgage AND rent? How is that right? Why two years? Half mortgage and half rent from day one sounds about right. As for the free-loader, his views on money might be a warning for the future.

HeddaGarbled · 08/07/2019 22:08

The whole thing isn’t sustainable. Don’t buy a property with your brother when you’re at the living with a partner stage in your life. It just isn’t going to work.

WillLokireturn · 08/07/2019 22:09

*your mortgage
You aren't his f#king parents.
*Don't let him move in

Corrections.

oldstudentmum · 08/07/2019 22:10

Your partner should be paying rent whilst you are paying the mortgage actually he should have offered even if you said rent free. Big red flags he is saving fir “ his own place” hmm. I’m a lot older than you that is a cocklodging fuckwit tight-fisted man I’ve met plenty of them all of them after the first bye bye . He wants the best of both worlds rent free , save up fir own place, and someone like mummy to do everything else but in your case with benefits. You haven’t stated if he has said you will get your own place in future. Does he see a future with you I don’t think so he sees a easy ride to earn more save more then bugger off. Live somewhere rent free I would love that. It’s the biggest bloody bill.
Most have said cocklodger and cf I totally agree regardless of what you have said to him he should of morally offered as a gesture of good will to his partner who is paying a mortgage

TowelNumber42 · 08/07/2019 22:10

Yes, half mortgage and half rent is the only reasonable option.

If DP moves in then he pays the half rent part of it.

How old is DP?

CastleCrasher · 08/07/2019 22:11

Another one totally confused. It sounds like your brother is getting the mortgage paid for him by you (plus upkeep of the property), plus rent from the boyfriend, and in two years, rent from you too (while you still pay the mortgage and upkeep)??

Original poster
Jetsetterf · 08/07/2019 22:11

@KTara because he would get more money if he rented out his share - £350 a month
I'd be paying his half of the mortgage - £130 a month - that leaves a shortfall

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 08/07/2019 22:12

How much rent would it get if you rented it out because I guess the point is at the moment your brother is losing rent (you could I assume get your mortgage covered and then some) but he gets you living in it so no hassle. Your DP on the other hand he has no emotional attachment to

That said you think he should OP which means I think you deep down think he should

Hahaha88 · 08/07/2019 22:12

Because I'll be living in the property, DBro expects that I'll pay more.
Erm not if he expects 50% of the profit at selling point

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 08/07/2019 22:12

Because I'll be living in the property, DBro expects that I'll pay more.

So because you live there you think you should pay more? I don't understand why you would think this your brother has basically got an asset he is not paying anything for Even if your DP doesn't move in and he charges him rent in 2 years time you will be paying the mortgage, all the bills and paying him rent so he will be making money on it.

He only put in £1000 more than you, in less than 8 months time you will have paid that 'debt back' by paying the mortgage each month. How do you not see you are being royally financially screwed by your brother??

Moreisnnogedag · 08/07/2019 22:13

I can totally see why whilst you’re living in the property you pay full mortgage. Say if you guys rented the property out, the mortgage would be covered and no-one would be out of pocket, but by you living in there, your brother loses out on his rental share. I imagine that £260 wouldn’t even be close to what you could potentially get on the open rental market.

Personally, I’d be extremely reluctant to move in with anyone who wants to live rent free to save up for their own deposit. Essentially it means you are gifting him x amount per month. Either he really wants to live with you or he doesn’t.