Very difficult situation DP v DBro. AIBU for DBro to charge DP rent?

[Jetsetterf]

I'm buying a flat in joint names with DBro. DBro is putting money into the flat as an investment but the flat is being bought for me to live in.

The flat is in a different city to where DP currently lives. I've previously said to DP if he moves in I wouldn't charge him rent. DP has applied for a job in the city where the flat is.

I wouldn't charge DP rent on my share but would DBro be unreasonable to charge DP a reduced rate of rent on his share?

DP is now angry at me because I didn't tell him he may have to pay rent on DBro's share and he said he wouldn't have applied for the job in the city the flat is in if he had known. I said I wouldn't charge him rent, but I have no control over DBro's share and surely he is being unreasonable to expect DBro to let him live there rent free?

Who the fuck expects to live somewhere for free?

Then throwing his toys out the pram... yeh he sounds like a real keeper.

Why should your dp live rent free?

Because OP intimated he would be.

If he interviewed for a job in a different city he'd need to pay rent if he got the job. Does he not pay his DPs some money for his keep or does he live rent and food free, if this is the case get rid hes a selfish B......

Cocklodger alert!

What makes your boyfriend think that someone else should pay his rent for him?

Who the fuck expects to live somewhere for free?

People who were led to believe they wouldn't have to pay rent.

Do I win a prize?

TheFlis12345
So he would expect to live completely rent free and you and DBro to pay for him? YANBU, he is being a CF.

If the OP's DP is going to be paying towards the upkeep of the flat will you be siding with giving him a share when when/if they break up?

-DP lives rent free at his parents house
-He doesn't want to pay rent anywhere because he doesn't want to pay towards anyone's mortgage

he's living with his parents

This explains a lot. So he's a man child as well as a cocklodger.

No judgement for people that still live at home but he's clearly not paid his way if he thinks £200 is an unreasonable request!

Lifecraft obviously the dp then

Your DP is a wannabe cocklodger.

How can he expect yours and your DB’s investment to benefit him financially? What roughly salary are we talking about here? Your boyfriend, I mean, what would he earn in your city?

I don't think it's U for your dbro to charge him rent but I agree this should have been made clear when you told him you wouldn't charge rent.

Woah why is your brother going to make a profit off your dp? Surely the reasonable thing is your split household bills 3 ways, the mortgage stays split between you and your brother and it's your decision whether or not you split your half with your dp?

@theWarOnPeace DP would earn about 20k

It has very little to do with having, or not having to pay rent, that is aways a bot of a minefield when one half of a partnership owns and the other does not. That just takes an adult conversation to get sorted out.

It is his reaction, his attitude. Somewhere along the lines there was a misunderstanding, a changing of mind, whatever. Any reasonable person would have talked it through. But he chose to be a bit of an arse. Uncalld for, unpleasant and should cause OP to stop and think...

Yeah paying someone else's mortgage is what every other person has to do when they don't own a house, your DP can't get all indignant about that. But you weren't clear on the expectation and that is an issue. He sounds like a bit of a knob though, I assume he is saving for his own place?

So he's never paid rent, and he has no intention of doing so. He is a CFer

hmm you told him he could stay in your place and not pay rent. Whilst I think its outrageous that he expected to stay rent free that is what you said. Not sure why he was meant to consider that your DBro would ask for rent! Communication is key in relationships and yours was poor

Red flags OP .Run .

Why would the brother pay bills?

So out of approx £1500, he thinks £200 is too much for a roof over his head? Would he be able to have his own (away from parents) place for £200 anywhere else? I know there was miscommunication, but he never should have proceeded with that anyway, £50 for a flat to live in with your girlfriend in a city. Where else would that be available? Please tell me he gives his parents money for living there 🤦‍♀️

He doesn't want to pay rent anywhere because he doesn't want to pay towards anyone's mortgage So his parents are stuck with him then. No landlord will give him accommodation for free and on £20K he can't buy anywhere.

Weird way of thinking about how to live.

Woah why is your brother going to make a profit off your dp? Surely the reasonable thing is your split household bills 3 ways, the mortgage stays split between you and your brother and it's your decision whether or not you split your half with your dp? Really? If OP wants to give him free acccomodation that is her choice But her home is her DBs investment. He can make different decisions for anyone living there. Why wouldn't he? Your version of reasonable still offers a fully grown man free living and expects the non resident DB to pay bills!! Why would anyone expect that?

It sounds like you weren’t very clear, so technically he’s not being unreasonable.

However, he doesn’t sound very nice.

‘He doesn’t want to pay rent because he doesn’t want to pay towards anyone’s mortgage.’

Why not? He has a particular issue with landlords with mortgages, as opposed to those who own outright? Sounds like a red herring. I suspect he’s cheap.

If he doesnt want to be paying towards anyones elses mortgage, how is he going to live? Is he saying for a deposit

-DP lives rent free at his parents house
-He doesn't want to pay rent anywhere because he doesn't want to pay towards anyone's mortgage

Well you have got yourself one CF Cocklodging DP and he hasn't even moved in yet!!!

He lives with his parents and probably doesn't pay anything towards bills! Good Luck getting any money out of the man child if you a stupid enough to let him move in!