To think taking another two kids camping would bother me?

[managedmis]

SIL asked if I wanted to go camping a couple of weeks ago, her and her DS, me and my DS. Fine, could be fun, boys get along well, we can all have a camp fire and wine once they sleep.

Confirmation text yesterday: still wanna go camping? Yes, sure. Oh, BTW the other SIL will come too, with her kids. OK, no problem.

Then changed it to SIL isn't coming, but her two kids will.

So, there's me, DS (5) her, her DS (12) and their two cousins, (12 & 14)

So I said no, it's too much like hard work, I won't be going. I didn't think it'd bother you she said.

AIBU?

Will 12 & 14 year old require much work?

I put yanbu, but reading again, will there be another adult?

Yanbu. I'd have done the same. At the very least she should have discussed it with you first.

I don’t get why that would bother you

2 adults, four kids

I do think you’ve been unreasonable - why would her teen having 2 teen friends with them cause you extra hassle given you’re not even responsible for them?

If they are nice kids then they should be an asset - entertaining the other kids, fetching and carrying etc.

Will 12 & 14 year old require much work?

^^

Good question. Theyaare not hard work per se, but still young teens. Bear in mind we (me and SIL) would be cooking / supervising them all weekend. There's a beach too, so that adds another layer of supervision..

WTF @Proseccoinamug

Och aye, nay bother for OP to have 2 extra kids foisted upon her that she's expected to supervise, feed and generally look after!

Tbf I'm not sure what extra work they'd create at their ages, they'll keep her 12 year old entertained - and probably also your ds too

I think YANBU.

Depends what they're like. Sometimes the more children the easier it can be as they all play together and will probably all be entertaining your 5 year old.
If they're really difficult children then YANBU.

The work load is irrelevant, OP should have been asked if she was willing to supervise 2 teens on what was supposed to be a nice camping trip with her child

My ds's were banned from coming with us at 13 +15... Bloody nightmares.

Think you've been a bit daft to be honest, they would have taken care of your wee one, played with the 12 yo and I doubt you would have noticed they were there, apart from having to cook more food.

A lot depends on how well all the DCs get on with each other and how long you will be going for.
Can the 12 & 14 yr olds put up their own tent , be relied on to wash up , and help with the water fetching cooking etc .
If its only a few nights and all the above is positive then Id take them along . It may also give you brownie points so they look after your DCs one weekend so you and DH can go away for a night or two alone.

However if they do not get on or you think they wont help out or it will cost you to much ( extra food & activities ) then I would say no .

How well do you know these kids? Can they be trusted not to do stupid stuff at the beach and be back at the tent when you ask them to be? If they’re sensible it’s could really be very little bother to have them, I still wouldn’t be pleased about sil just deciding that you could take them on your holiday though!

I wouldn’t like that either. But I’d probably suck it up, and then find it wasn’t as bad as I was expecting.

I would insist the older kids helped with the cooking and washing up though.

They’re not little kids though HavelockVetinari - they’re 12 and 14, not 2 and 4.
And nobody’s asked the OP to take responsibility for them. They’ll just be there with the other teen?

Why should you be free childcare?! They still need supervision of sorts.

My 11 year old is an asset rather than effort when camping... he washes pots and entertains the little ones. However he stays up later than I'd like and delays my wine time, more than your 5 year old would... but given You're already taking a bigger kid, the extra 2 shouldn't affect that?

The work load is irrelevant, OP should have been asked if she was willing to supervise 2 teens on what was supposed to be a nice camping trip with her children

^^

That's what I thought!

I think this makes for an awkward dynamic. The three older ones are all of a similar age and might choose to hang out together without including your five year old much. This won't affect the other mother but you might find yourself having the addition of having to feed and supply appropriate amusement for teens while having to amuse your own child yourself. They could well hang out late on the campsite with you being responsible for keeping an eye on them while your own child sleeps. I think the original 12 year old on his/her own would have been happy enough helping entertain the younger one some of the time with appropriate praise and consideration of his/her wants but will inevitably want to hang out mostly with the older cousins. I may be wrong but I foresee a situation where there is a fun group of 3 and one a bit isolated small boy.

They are 12 & 14, when they aren't on their phones and ignoring everyone, you can make them help out and watch the kids when you need.

YABU.

On the other hand, there will be no adult time in the evening because they will be in earshot.