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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think taking another two kids camping would bother me?

126 replies

managedmis · 08/07/2019 21:06

SIL asked if I wanted to go camping a couple of weeks ago, her and her DS, me and my DS. Fine, could be fun, boys get along well, we can all have a camp fire and wine once they sleep.

Confirmation text yesterday: still wanna go camping? Yes, sure. Oh, BTW the other SIL will come too, with her kids. OK, no problem.

Then changed it to SIL isn't coming, but her two kids will.

So, there's me, DS (5) her, her DS (12) and their two cousins, (12 & 14)

So I said no, it's too much like hard work, I won't be going. I didn't think it'd bother you she said.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Yinyen · 09/07/2019 07:07

I've got a 12 and 13 year old, unless the SILs kids are annoying they can be a great help. They will also entertain her 12 year old who will be bored with just a 5 year old for company.

funmummy48 · 09/07/2019 07:11

It wouldn't bother me at all. Sounds like great fun and lovely for the cousins to spend time together.

TinyMystery · 09/07/2019 07:16

YABU. Surely a 12 and 14 year old are pretty much self-sufficient and will only need feeding and occasionally to be sent a text to check up?

AlexaAmbidextra · 09/07/2019 07:17

And nobody’s asked the OP to take responsibility for them. They’ll just be there with the other teen

Well of course the adults will have to take responsibility for them. They’re 12 and 14, not adults.

Isatis · 09/07/2019 07:20

And nobody’s asked the OP to take responsibility for them. They’ll just be there with the other teen?

How can OP not be responsible for them? She's one of two adults who will be with four children, she can't just choose to wash her hands of two of them. If, say, they want to do something dangerous, she can hardly just shrug her shoulders and say "Nothing to do with me". Suppose one of them has an accident or gets ill - one of the adults will have to take them to A&E whilst the other supervises the rest.

Twooter · 09/07/2019 07:22

I’ve changed my mind from yanbu to yabu. For the 12yo going with just the 5yo and 2 mums, it does sound pretty dull with the expectation that they would entertain your child. Taking the others means you have 2 adults to entertain 1 5 year old.

stucknoue · 09/07/2019 07:30

12&14 is fine, seriously they will be capable of most things you just provide sustenance and safety. On the flip side they can pretty much look after your dc. Yes water supervision but as long as they swim it's no different to supervising 2

MIdgebabe · 09/07/2019 07:32

I THought he issue was it was now 1 adult and 4 children

francescadrake · 09/07/2019 07:33

And nobody’s asked the OP to take responsibility for them. They’ll just be there with the other teen?

So what does it have to do with the OP whether or not they go? If a 12 year old and a 14 year old are allowed to go camping on their own 🤷🏻‍♀️

But of course, she would be responsible for them.

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 09/07/2019 07:35

Hi OP

I dont think YABU or YANBU

You should have been asked. Looking after 2 extra kids (or one extra kid each) is entirely up to you and its fine to say no thanks

SoupDragon · 09/07/2019 07:37

YABU. The original set up sounds utterly shit for the 12 year old. Your 5 year old will be fine and the older ones will require minimal supervision. Cooking for 2 extra teens when you are already cooking is not much extra work at all - you just cook more of the same surely.

crimsonlake · 09/07/2019 07:38

Sounds very much like someone wanted a free babysitter of sorts and a child free weekend. I would have done the same, they should have at least checked first.

fedup21 · 09/07/2019 07:45

Your cheeky SIL has just artfully stolen a child free weekend for herself. What will she being doing in peace and quiet at home while you're supervising her tweens?

I think this is the crux of the matter!

Dieu · 09/07/2019 07:46

It depends on several factors if you're BU.
If this camping trip is to be your main holiday, or is a week long or more. YANBU.
If it's a weekend long, YABU, and very petty.
If the SIL is ill or whatever, YABU, as that's just what families sometimes step in to do.
So I would need more info before deciding.

SoupDragon · 09/07/2019 07:47

What will she being doing in peace and quiet at home while you're supervising her tweens?

To be fair, we have no idea why she's dropped out.

Mumofone1858 · 09/07/2019 07:52

Everyone saying that teenagers aren't any hard work have never met a child like my sister! She is 14 but thinks she's an adult, she constantly pushes boundaries and is harder work than my baby! One cousin and a 5 year old is likely going to result in them playing together on the beach, 3 teenage children and 1 5 year old will mean the 5 year old is left out (but will still try to get involved and get upset when not allowed). I don't think YABU and I think the holiday would be completely different, unsure why people are saying it won't be any different!

SoupDragon · 09/07/2019 07:59

One cousin and a 5 year old is likely going to result in them playing together on the beach

And a bored 12 year old.

CodenameVillanelle · 09/07/2019 08:01

Was it just going to be you and SIL? Have you just been saddled with a weekend taking her kids away by yourself?

Disfordarkchocolate · 09/07/2019 08:04

At 12 all of mine still enjoyed playing with a younger cousin when there were no older ones about. A chance to go back a few years and play the games they think they are too old for now. I have lovely memories of mine playing hide and seek, digging in the beach and playing in the park with their much smaller brother.

katewhinesalot · 09/07/2019 08:08

I can see why your sil wants to take the extra two. It will keep her child entertained. You, not so much. You'll be lumbered with entertaining your 5 year old as he'll "be in the way".
Otoh, if you don't take them, you'll have a moaning, bored 12 year old who may, or may not, entertain your child for you.

You decide.

womaninthedark · 09/07/2019 08:12

OP, don't go. Go somewhere with your little one instead. I can't think of anything worse than having to supervise someone else's 12 and 14 year old.

DogHasEatenTheSqueaker · 09/07/2019 08:12

Three farting teenagers in a tent would be enough of a worry in itself. It’ll take off.

Lovemusic33 · 09/07/2019 08:17

I think YABU, for me the more the merrier when camping, there’s not much to do on camp sites so the more kids their are the more occupied they are. We are camping in a few weeks and would happily join another family to keep dd’s amused.

NearlySchoolTimeAgain · 09/07/2019 08:21

I think it will be more fun for all the kids the more there are. Unless maybe your 5yo gets left out by the bigger kids?

ComeAndDance · 09/07/2019 08:22

At that age, I wouldn’t be expecting to supervise them. I wouod be expecting them to be of some help, esp the 14yo.
I would also expect the 12yo to get in with the other two teens of his age and for all 4 of them to go away and have nice time together. I wouod expect to have to ‘supervise’ them.
Cooking for two more people doesn’t require much more effort either (but two more people there to do the washing up etc...)