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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how many people don't do their spouse's laundry?

283 replies

Goostacean · 08/07/2019 16:38

I see this on threads quite regularly: OP says they do cleaning/laundry etc, next posters say "why do you do [his] laundry?"

Do many households have separate laundry baskets- one per person? Or do people mean they take turns to do communal loads? How many of you only do your own laundry?

I've only ever seen this on MN, although in fairness I've not made a habit of asking friends and acquaintances how they manage the load (excuse the pun) in their households...

AIBU to ask what happens in your homes?

OP posts:
Oldraver · 08/07/2019 16:40

When I'm working OH has more off days than me so does his own laundry and a little of ours.

When I'm not working I do most of the laundry

Treacletoots · 08/07/2019 16:41

I stopped doing my exHs washing when I got sick of him being a massive cock and close to divorcing him.

My Lovely now DH and I take it completely in turns to do the family load,. Although there are times I wish he understood darks and lights a little better!!

dementedpixie · 08/07/2019 16:41

I make up a load using everyone's washing. There are 2 baskets in my/DH's room (lights and darks) and 1 each in the 2 kids rooms.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 08/07/2019 16:41

I don't do much of DHs. I will use his to make up a full wash and will do all bedding, towels etc at the same time. Though he is just as as likely to grab mine.

He works away a lot and washes and re-packs what he needs. It makes sense that he knows what he wants for the next job and prioritises that. If the rest is clean and back in the wardrobe next time he is hime that's a bonus, as far as he is concerned.

Areyoufree · 08/07/2019 16:41

My husband does most of the washing. Apparently I don't hang clothes on the airer the right way - fine by me! I'm also not allowed to put the shopping away, for similar reasons.

Likethebattle · 08/07/2019 16:42

We just do a load and put in all applicable items. E.g i’m Washing jeans so just stick dh’s in too. He does the same.

Namechangeymcnamechange11 · 08/07/2019 16:42

I think it's odd that you'd differentiate between different people's clothes too. Yes I do DH's washing. Equally, he does mine if he puts the washing on too.
I'd be incredibly upset if he picked mine out of the basket and set it aside...!

Celebelly · 08/07/2019 16:42

We just have 'laundry'. Communal basket for all our stuff, when it's full it gets washed by whoever has time first.

HumphreyCobblers · 08/07/2019 16:43

DH does all the washing.

Aragog · 08/07/2019 16:43

We do one another's laundry, and teenage DDs too. It is mostly me or dh who puts a wash load on in the latter half of the week, and dh who does the ironing. DD will put a load on when asked too. We have one laundry basket, divided into whites and darks - everyone's washing goes in that. It is kept in the family bathroom.

WidowTwonky · 08/07/2019 16:43

We do separate washing, drying, ironing etc. I do mine and DC and DH does his own

Igotmylipstickon · 08/07/2019 16:43

We both do the laundry for the family - whichever one of us is home will put it on. All the family's laundry goes into one pile and are then separated according to colour, towels, etc.

Nesssie · 08/07/2019 16:44

I never get that either OP! Why would you do 2 separate washes? if you are putting a wash on, why would you not do it all?

I do most of the washing simply because I want my clothes washed and ready to wear again quicker than DP. But he will put a load on if I tell him. He'll hang the washing out too if asked.

Cleaning - again, I have higher standards than him so he won't think to do it, but will run the hoover round if I tell him.

AquarianSquirrel · 08/07/2019 16:44

Think he's put a load in once of his own volition? He does occasionally wash the nappies though (need doing every 2nd/3rd day). He says it's because he doesn't want to do it wrong or mess up clothes by dying them! Hmm Having said that he does the bins and recycling, which I despise, so swings and roundabouts.

zen1 · 08/07/2019 16:45

I do all the family laundry as I'm around to hang it out etc, but don't iron any shirts (we have 3 DS's who all have school shirts and DH wears shirts to work). DH irons all the shirts.

Caspianberg · 08/07/2019 16:45

I never understand this. Dh and I just chuck it all in together. One white basket, one regular, one delicates. Whatever basket is full gets put in the wash by whoever is free. Otherwise it would take ages if I only wore one white shirt that week, or only have a few delicate items.

How do people 'not' wash a shared bedding? how can you wash each others half only?

RollOnSummerBreak · 08/07/2019 16:45

I do it all.. Because if he did it when he got in the washing machine would be on spin late at night and not fair on downstairs neighbours.
And the other reason. I'm fussy when 8t comes to separation of Colors.
We got a new machine a few months ago and I. Don't think he's ever used it.. I like it that way lol

Bubblysqueak · 08/07/2019 16:45

I don't do dh's. He has his own laundry basket in his bathroom that I don't really go into. I sort mine and the DC and he does his own.

Chovihano · 08/07/2019 16:46

All washing is done together whoever it belongs to.
We all do laundry, if the baskets full we put a load on. I don't think any of us could be bothered monitoring who does what, domestic responsibilities are shared throughout the family.
It's not fair to expect one person to do it.

Nesssie · 08/07/2019 16:46

@WidowTwonky Can I ask why? If you are doing a dark wash, is it not easier, time saving and energy saving to just put every ones in?

thecatsthecats · 08/07/2019 16:46

I do all the laundry, he does all the dishes.

He just doesn't do laundry fast enough. Insists on separating every last colour into separate loads. Puts everything on the 'eco' load (2h per cycle) instead of the quick mode you can use for small amounts. Never gets around to doing it so I run out of pants. Three small loads back to back all go in the tumble dryer together so I can do it on my WFH day. He irons his own stuff.

Whereas apparently I load the dishwasher incorrectly, and I definitely don't pay attention and check each spoon is individually clean (to be fair, a few come out grubby, need a hand wash etc). Needs doing once a week.

We end up doing the same amount of work. Works for us.

Apolloanddaphne · 08/07/2019 16:46

I do all the laundry as i love doing it. I don't find it a chore, i find it very soothing! I hate ironing though!

Tadpoletofrog · 08/07/2019 16:46

We just do whatever is in the laundry basket, regardless is whose it is. Only exception is his work uniform which he takes care of himself. I don’t hang the shirts right apparently....
I also refuse to iron his clothes, we both do our own.

PooWillyBumBum · 08/07/2019 16:46

We just share laundry - it all goes into the same basket. We split it about 50/50. I don’t understand splitting it either but there are only three of us so I’d struggle to make whole washes without shoving everyone’s stuff in.

Bubblysqueak · 08/07/2019 16:47

If I don't have a full load I'll grab some of his and vice versa, he'll also sort and put away DC/mine if I'm busy.