Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how many people don't do their spouse's laundry?

283 replies

Goostacean · 08/07/2019 16:38

I see this on threads quite regularly: OP says they do cleaning/laundry etc, next posters say "why do you do [his] laundry?"

Do many households have separate laundry baskets- one per person? Or do people mean they take turns to do communal loads? How many of you only do your own laundry?

I've only ever seen this on MN, although in fairness I've not made a habit of asking friends and acquaintances how they manage the load (excuse the pun) in their households...

AIBU to ask what happens in your homes?

OP posts:
nobreakfastforme · 08/07/2019 17:10

He did his own before I married him, so not sure why I'd take over, I'm not his housekeeper;

I did all of my own shopping, cooking & paying bills before I married my husband. We now work as a team, I do some jobs and he does others (with some cross over). Nothing to do with being a housekeeper HmmBiscuit

Arrowfanatic · 08/07/2019 17:11

I do everyones laundry. Very occassionally DH will need something specific that i havent washed yet so will put his item in plus anything of the same colour in the downstairs laundry. Invariably though he forgets about it & i then have to get it out & tumbled late at night so he has it for the next day. Hmm

MadCattery · 08/07/2019 17:12

DH does almost all of it. If I even suggest I’ll do a load, he prefers to do it instead. When the kids were living at home, they did their own from about 12 or 13. I’d remind them to throw sheets and towels in, but didn’t do it for them. It’s not like any of us have ever had to take stuff to the river and beat it with rocks. Really, it’s just put it in, add detergent and turn a knob.

that25cUKHeatwaveof2019 · 08/07/2019 17:12

He did his own before I married him, so not sure why I'd take over, I'm not his housekeeper

I am glad my DH took over half of what I used to have to deal with when i was living alone, it makes my life so much easier.

The kids we share pretty much 50/50

PeapodBurgundy · 08/07/2019 17:12

I do it all or it wouldn't get done. I have a sectioned hamper on the landing. When a section is full, a load goes on. Simple.

BlueSkiesLies · 08/07/2019 17:13

Separate washing to DP. He does his. I do mine. We have our own washing baskets in our own wardrobes.

Easier to manage your clean clothes requirements if you have control over when your washing gets done.

Singlenotsingle · 08/07/2019 17:13

My dp prefers to do his own laundry. He likes to make sure his socks are paired up, and the shirts are hung up the right way round on the line. I don't do it up to his standards. Suits me!

ooooohbetty · 08/07/2019 17:13

I don't know any household where people do separate laundry. Everyone I know does the washing for their OH. It's not not really a chore, all you do is stick it in a machine and press a button. In nearly all cases the women do the ironing too. That is a chore.

ALongHardWinter · 08/07/2019 17:14

I agree OP. I always think it's a bit odd when I see comments like 'Why are you doing his laundry?'. Surely it's easier and more economical? I'm not saying that you should be expected to hang it up to dry and fold/iron it and put it away for everyone else,but it makes more sense to bung everyone's in all together.

BlueSkiesLies · 08/07/2019 17:14

Cleaner does bed sheets.

I do towels or tell DP to do towels because for some reason despite being an incredibly clean and tidy person, he seem to think that towels need washing ever!

ImogenTubbs · 08/07/2019 17:14

I tend to do the laundry, because, as you say, it's all in the same basket, but I never do his ironing. Ever.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 08/07/2019 17:15

We all have separate laundry baskets. I don’t do DH’s following a nasty comment from him and coleslaw based retaliation from me about 12 years ago. I don’t allow him to even touch my clothes, pre-dating the coleslaw incident, because he won’t read labels and destroys clothes. I do household laundry and we both do the DC’s laundry. They prefer me to do their laundry because of DH damaging things, but I tell them that they’re old enough to do it themselves if they want to keep their clothes nice.

BlueSkiesLies · 08/07/2019 17:15

Surely it's easier and more economical

Why is it more economical to do a full load of my washing, versus a full load of mixed washing?

I hate hanging out washing and putting it away, so no way will I be doing another adults washing and increase the time I have to spend dealing with it.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 08/07/2019 17:16

DH works from home at least once a week and does laundry on those days. I do it if a load needs doing when he isn’t WFH. I do all the ironing but that is because he simply isn’t as good at it as me, plus I don’t really mind it so long as I have something to watch on the TV.

We are very much a team and (apart from the ironing), if something needs to be done then the person available or who noticed it does it!

DontCallMeBaby · 08/07/2019 17:16

Separate washing baskets, so no sorting into his n hers. DH just has a series of jeans and T-shirt’s that are pretty much interchangeable, whereas I have more specific items I like to wear for particular occasions (even if it’s just this T-shirt rather than that one) and I’d hate not to be able to wear something cos he hadn’t got round to putting it in the wash. As it is I only have myself to blame.

I also like to take my own managed risks about whether dry clean only items might actually wash, and things that say don’t tumble dry will actually be fine in the drier. I’d rather not do that with someone else’s clothes. Meanwhile he has no white cloths and thinks everything else goes in together (years ago washed DD’s pink ballet cardi with dark jeans because I’d ‘left it in the wrong place’).

The comments about ‘why are you doing his washing?’ generally seem to be in response to either women picking up after their partners, not just scoping up his washing with hers, or a bloke who’s behaving like such a dick the questioner is wondering why his partner does ANYTHING for him, even if she would have to spite herself not to.

WidowTwonky · 08/07/2019 17:17

Can I ask why? If you are doing a dark wash, is it not easier, time saving and energy saving to just put every ones in?
@Nesssie I don’t do half loads etc so energy isn’t really a concern. I’m not sure why, we’ve just always had separate baskets and we’ve stuck that way for the past 20 yrs! I’m sure he wouldn’t complain if I did his whereas I would not like it if he did mine. And with ironing, he wears shirts so irons regularly whereas I only iron occasionally if something looks like it needs it

BlueSkiesLies · 08/07/2019 17:18

Everyone I know does the washing for their OH. It's not not really a chore, all you do is stick it in a machine and press a button.

No, you have to stick it in the washing machine and press a button. THEN you have to sort out what can and can't be tumble dried, hang up all the non-TD stuff. TD the TD stuff. Then check its dry. Then fold it up and put it away.

Massive, massive bore fest.

ImNotYourGranny · 08/07/2019 17:18

I do all the laundry normally. DH works full time and I don't work due to health. He will happily stick a load in if I ask but I rarely do as he messes up my system and he couldn't hang things out to dry properly if his life depended on it.

Aragog · 08/07/2019 17:19

Its interesting that for most of the posters who do their washing separately its the woman who is doing the DCs clothes. Why is that?

OrdinarySnowflake · 08/07/2019 17:19

reading this, I've come to the conclusion it's people with bigger houses with more bathrooms than we have that do this - we don't have space for multiple washing baskets for everyone to have their own, so there's one in the bathroom, if it's in there, then I'll wash it. It is normally me as I work mornings only and DH works full time (leaving for work before me in the morning), but when we both worked fulltime, DH did the washing as often as I did.

Neither of us produce enough dirty clothes to fill a lights or dark wash on our own each week (even when factoring in the DCs clothes), seems petty to put on a wash load of just the DCs school shirts and not put DH's work shirts in the same load.

The only exception is his sports/gym kit, that he normally throws straight in the machine after wearing as it'll stink out the bathroom if left overnight in this weather!

Oh but I don't do his ironing, I just about do my own and have made a point of buying the DCs non-iron stuff.

soundsystem · 08/07/2019 17:19

We both do everyone's laundry. Laundry goes in the baskets (sorted at that point) and when a basket is full it goes in the machine. DH and I are both capable of turning on the machine and pegging it out so it depends on who is at home.

MoreCuddlesForMummy · 08/07/2019 17:19

We have a mixed (lights and darks) basket in our room and DD has a small basket too. I mix it all together and do it all. I’m a SAHM. I know DH is appreciative and if I ever found him not appreciate I would start separating it. But as it stands I see it as one of my “jobs” because I don’t go out to work.

formerbabe · 08/07/2019 17:19

Everyone's washing in together. I do all of it, including ironing and putting away. To be fair, I'm a sahm with school age dc.

Benes · 08/07/2019 17:20

But why, if you both work full time, should one person ( usually the woman) be expected to take on another household chore?

I find it odd when I hear of women doing all the washing. We both produce enough dirty washing for full loads so it wouldn't be economical to do it all together. My DH has been doing his own washing since he was 13. Why should that change just because he's married?

DappledThings · 08/07/2019 17:20

One laundry basket and I stick it all on every 2-3 days. Don't separate anything, life's too short.

I do everything laundry related, DH does everything food related. We play to our strengths.