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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not move my fence?

164 replies

compulsiveliar2019 · 08/07/2019 13:52

About a months ago I move my horses into a new paddock on a small farm. On the farm are 3 cottages. The cottages all have a small private garden but also use of a larger communal garden. In one of the cottages there is a family with 2 young boys.

The communal garden sides onto my paddock. There’s kids swings ect in the garden and is clearly where the kids hang out. The younger one is not hers school age but probably not far off. The older one is in school.

My issue is that the kids are left unsupervised in the garden for blocks of time. They are clearly interested in my horses and constantly stand on the fences, shouting at the horses and generally make a nuisance of themselves. I have now had to padlock the gates so they can’t just walk into the field. They are also very rude. The little one when asked to get down off the fence he was standing on replied “ you can’t tell me what to do you don’t live here”. Followed up by “go away you don’t live here” and “hahaha you don’t live here, your bad”. All silly stuff but at that age I would never have spoken to any adult like that ever!
Yesterday I was trying to fill up the horses water trough. The tap is on the far side of the garden from the paddock. I connected to he hose up and turned it on and walked back to the trough so I could clean and fill it. Just after I had got to the trough the littlest one goes and turns the tap of and shouts “you can’t have any water you don’t live here” and runs off laughing.

This type of thing is happening every day. I’m also repeatedly finding balls and toys in the field with the horses that have clearly been kicked or thrown in. I have now stopped giving them back. At first I thought it was a mistake so kindly put them back in the garden for them. Then when it didn’t stop I went and had a word with the parents along with returning all the things that were in my field. They promptly handed them back to the kids (saying “boys will be boys”, and low and behold they are in the field again next day.

I have now had to put electric fencing up in the paddock to keep the horses away from where the children can see them or throw things at them. I really don’t want to have to move the horses because it’s close to home and has good riding. It’s otherwise a great deal.

The parents have got cross because one of the kids (funny enough the little one) has touched my fence and got a shock (shock will hurt but won’t do any damage). He apparently ran off screaming to his mum and the mum has got really cross and wants the fence removed.

The fence is about 10metres into the field which the children are not supposed to be in. There is no way they can have touched my fence without being somewhere they shouldn’t. AIBU to tell her no the fence stays and to keep better control of her kids?

OP posts:
Lifecraft · 08/07/2019 13:55

There is no way they can have touched my fence without being somewhere they shouldn’t. AIBU to tell her no the fence stays and to keep better control of her kids?

Land owners used to use the same argument for mantraps. There must be regulations in place about when and where you can erect an electric fence? If you meet those regs, tell her to do one. If you don't, take it down.

compulsiveliar2019 · 08/07/2019 13:58

There is no public access to the field - no public rights of way ect so no restrictions on where I can put a fence legally.

In order to have gotten into the field the kids must have gone over the fence. They have been told lots and lots of time not to claim on the fence and that they must not go in the field with the horses. They clearly are not listening.

OP posts:
Herocomplex · 08/07/2019 14:01

It would have been better to be friendly to the kids, and chat to them about the horses. Better to build bridges than fences.

MonkeyTrap · 08/07/2019 14:02

The only regs for electric fences are that where it’s on a public ROW the fence must have signs (those little yellow ones) at certain intervals to warn the public its electrified. This is private land. So I can’t see that any regulation applies.

I would be worried that the horses will suffer the consequences of any perceived revenge from the kids, who don’t sound very nice or very respectful.

If it were me I’d probably keep the horses out their way and graze them nearer to the houses in the winter when the kids won’t be playing in the garden.

The comments re not living there are probably just what their parents have said.

Lockheart · 08/07/2019 14:02

Electric fences are not even close to being in the same league as mantraps.

If it's on private land, with the landowners permission, and properly earthed, it's fine.

The fence is for the safety of the horses and should stay.

The children should stay in their garden.

PCohle · 08/07/2019 14:02

As long as you are confident you are in the right legally then I wouldn't move the fence. It patently won't actually harm the kids.

HirplesWithHaggis · 08/07/2019 14:03

Surely, having touched the fence, the children won't touch it again? Learn the lesson, kids! Leave the fence.

VforVienetta · 08/07/2019 14:03

YANBU with bells on.
Have you got signage up about the electric fence? As long as it is identified I see nothing wrong with it. As you say, they have to be trespassing to touch it.

The parents need to take responsibility. They'd probably complain their kids shoes got dirty treading in horse manure in your field too...

As a parent of a 'spirited' child that gets carried away myself, I'd have to take it on the chin and accept my child my problem.

Janedoughnut · 08/07/2019 14:04

As long as the parents aren't going to be able to cause you any trouble regarding the fence I'd tell them to sod off and parent their children.

Nesssie · 08/07/2019 14:06

I think that's hilarious! Electric fence Grin Well done!

PrayingandHoping · 08/07/2019 14:06

10m into the field? You're kind!!! If it was me they'd me lucky if it was 1m in!

They are totally unreasonable asking you to remove it. They need to control their children. Stick a "this fence is electrified" sign on it and the rest is their issue

I assume it's battery powered not mains? Mains hurts like hell but battery is really not a massive drama

Lockheart · 08/07/2019 14:07

@VforVienetta electric fences don't need signage on private land. If you have one along a public right of way / road then you need to put signs up at eye level at certain intervals, and if it was up against the family's fence then it would also require signage. But 10m into a private field is fine. We've often used electric fencing to divide up a field and rotate grazing; if it's not accessible to the public then it's OK.

compulsiveliar2019 · 08/07/2019 14:08

Hero I did initially try that. The first week or so when I moved in I chatted to them and was friendly. But it very quickly became apparent that they were not going to follow instructions. I can't let them come and help or be included if they are not going to follow my instructions do that they are safe.

They have to be in this field at the moment because the other one I have is my standing hay crop for this winter so they will move onto it later in the year and through the winter. This field gets much wetter so isn't suitable for winter use.

OP posts:
Tallgreenbottle · 08/07/2019 14:09

Bin their things. Maybe contact a local fencing company and totally block off that side of the paddock with fence panels so the little shits can't even get in. Turn the voltage up? Grin kidding of course.

Cannot stomach rude children at all.

TheFlis12345 · 08/07/2019 14:10

Tell the parents he can’t possibly have touched your fence as to do so we would have had to illegally trespassed into your land and you are sure they have brought their children up to behave better than that and of course at such a young age, being responsible parents, they would have been supervising him anyway. Raise an eyebrow if you can!

compulsiveliar2019 · 08/07/2019 14:11

I did it 10m so that they couldn't throw there stuff into where the horses are.

The fence is battery and solar powered.

OP posts:
VforVienetta · 08/07/2019 14:12

@Lockheart I know they don't need signage, but it's good for acting as 'fair warning'. Esp when you know there are idiots around who don't respect fences already.

I've been stung by an electric fence before, it's hardly capital punishment. We used to dare each other to touch it on my mate's farm as kids!

Summertimeatthebeach · 08/07/2019 14:12

I salute you op.
And the supporters. Too many allow awful entitled bloody dc to rule the roost (or field in this case!).

IDontGiveABagOfDicks · 08/07/2019 14:13

YANBU.

Do the parents realise it’s not entirely safe for their DC to be wandering over to horses they don’t know? (DSis has one that’s old and would definitely kick a stranger!)

PrayingandHoping · 08/07/2019 14:13

Well battery power only stings for seconds.

This really is their problem not yours

IDontGiveABagOfDicks · 08/07/2019 14:14

@TheFlis12345 Excellent response. Do it OP.

Lockheart · 08/07/2019 14:15

True, @VforVienetta - perhaps putting up a large sign will avoid any future incidents. And at least if there are you could point to the sign.

I remember getting stung by an electric fence when I was young. I cried my eyes out as my parents had tried to explain electric currents and how you become part of one if you touch a live wire, but I got the wrong end of the stick and thought I was actually going to be sucked into the wire and become part of the current Grin

OKBobble · 08/07/2019 14:17

Have you also raised the issue with the person you are renting the paddock from? Possibly he is their landlord too.

LogieBogie · 08/07/2019 14:19

Well done you. Do not remove the fence. The parents should control their children.

Karigan195 · 08/07/2019 14:23

There is no way I’d be moving that fence. If there’s no right of way or anything else that permits them to be in there then they are trespassing. There’s a massive difference between man traps and an electric fence. An electric fence is not going to kill anyone unless some really unusual circumstances prevail. Protect yourself by putting those little electric signs up if you haven’t already and then ignore.

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