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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not move my fence?

164 replies

compulsiveliar2019 · 08/07/2019 13:52

About a months ago I move my horses into a new paddock on a small farm. On the farm are 3 cottages. The cottages all have a small private garden but also use of a larger communal garden. In one of the cottages there is a family with 2 young boys.

The communal garden sides onto my paddock. There’s kids swings ect in the garden and is clearly where the kids hang out. The younger one is not hers school age but probably not far off. The older one is in school.

My issue is that the kids are left unsupervised in the garden for blocks of time. They are clearly interested in my horses and constantly stand on the fences, shouting at the horses and generally make a nuisance of themselves. I have now had to padlock the gates so they can’t just walk into the field. They are also very rude. The little one when asked to get down off the fence he was standing on replied “ you can’t tell me what to do you don’t live here”. Followed up by “go away you don’t live here” and “hahaha you don’t live here, your bad”. All silly stuff but at that age I would never have spoken to any adult like that ever!
Yesterday I was trying to fill up the horses water trough. The tap is on the far side of the garden from the paddock. I connected to he hose up and turned it on and walked back to the trough so I could clean and fill it. Just after I had got to the trough the littlest one goes and turns the tap of and shouts “you can’t have any water you don’t live here” and runs off laughing.

This type of thing is happening every day. I’m also repeatedly finding balls and toys in the field with the horses that have clearly been kicked or thrown in. I have now stopped giving them back. At first I thought it was a mistake so kindly put them back in the garden for them. Then when it didn’t stop I went and had a word with the parents along with returning all the things that were in my field. They promptly handed them back to the kids (saying “boys will be boys”, and low and behold they are in the field again next day.

I have now had to put electric fencing up in the paddock to keep the horses away from where the children can see them or throw things at them. I really don’t want to have to move the horses because it’s close to home and has good riding. It’s otherwise a great deal.

The parents have got cross because one of the kids (funny enough the little one) has touched my fence and got a shock (shock will hurt but won’t do any damage). He apparently ran off screaming to his mum and the mum has got really cross and wants the fence removed.

The fence is about 10metres into the field which the children are not supposed to be in. There is no way they can have touched my fence without being somewhere they shouldn’t. AIBU to tell her no the fence stays and to keep better control of her kids?

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 08/07/2019 16:59

I can see what you mean but I'm not sure about the need. We had a hunt sab scream blue murder about our chicken fencing. Apparently we had nearly killed her dog.

One of the police there to keep the peace was very calm and reminded her that

  • it was 3 in the morning
  • she was in my private garden
  • it was a stock fence
  • she needed to keep her dog under control
  • and she needed to shut up
  • if anything happened to it, or my chickens, he would be looking at her
Smile
PooWillyBumBum · 08/07/2019 17:06

YANBU

If they were my DC I would die of shame and agree they deserved a wee shock.

PristineCondition · 08/07/2019 17:10

Id be turning it up tbh....

MrMeSeeks · 08/07/2019 17:18

Yanbu, do not take it.
It’s not your fault the parents haven't raised their kids properly

ecumenicalpatter · 08/07/2019 17:44

LTB

Poloshot · 08/07/2019 17:48

Of course you're not being unreasonable

PooWillyBumBum · 08/07/2019 18:31

LTB

‘Lectricute the bastards!? Grin

RebootYourEngine · 08/07/2019 18:50

Some people shouldn't be allowed children and these parents are some of them. Teach your kids to behave and they won't get electrocuted.

Blatherskite · 08/07/2019 19:10

The fence doesn't need to move because if the kids were behaving the way they are supposed to, they wouldn't be anywhere near it to get zapped. If the children get a shock, it's the parent's fault not yours.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 08/07/2019 19:25

Lectricute The Bairns...

BrightYellowDaffodil · 08/07/2019 19:34

Absolutely don’t move the fence. In fact, I’d be getting some of the electric mesh fencing that gets used for sheep, just to be sure, and putting up a second fence where the horses can’t get to it (mesh and hooves not being a good combination). If you can run it off mains power it’s stronger and more reliable than batteries that have a tendency to go flat.

And I’d make sure that any balls, toys etc “accidentally” got damaged. Horse must have stood on it, mustn’t they? What with it being in their field and all [innocent face]

BogglesGoggles · 08/07/2019 19:38

I would keep the fence up. If one of your horses hurst them there is a good chance you will be liable (doctrine of allurement) althought it depends on the judge. Ultimately I don’t think you want them hurt even if you aren’t liable.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 08/07/2019 19:44

I don’t think you WOULD be liable as you haven’t invited the people on to your land, and you have made good efforts to keep them out with warning signs etc: www.e-lawresources.co.uk/Occupiers-liability.php

If in doubt, OP, are you a BHS member? If I remember correctly, they give free legal advice to members.

compulsiveliar2019 · 08/07/2019 20:05

Thanks everyone! Just got back from the field the kids stayed well away tonight and there no toys/balls etc in the field either. Was watched constantly by the mother whilst I was there. She was stood in the window holding a tiny very young baby. So perhaps That's why she's not been outside supervising the older kids.

I can't easily speak to the landlord. It is all owned by the same person but the owner is currently abroad and not easily contactable. I have a reduced rent for managing the land fully myself and the cottages are estate agent managed but I'm not sure which agent.

I don't have any mains electricity and the water is a shared supply in the communal garden so not lockable sadly.

Hopefully the kids have got the message now.

OP posts:
Belenus · 08/07/2019 20:12

the cottages are estate agent managed but I'm not sure which agent.

Google the address. You may find a cached advert for when they were last up for rent, with the agent's name. I'm not absolutely sure how far that would get you as they might not want to reveal some information, but it's a start or just ask everybody you know. Where I live that would work

countrygirl99 · 08/07/2019 20:19

Anyway you can hook the fence up to a mains energiser instead of battery?

regmover · 08/07/2019 20:19

I wouldn't waste the grazing. I'd be inclined to get some of those long electric fencing connector thingies and put them all along the fence to stop children climbing over or going through. Then by all means put the yellow labels up as a warning.

compulsiveliar2019 · 08/07/2019 20:43

It is through an energizer. It still gives a powerful zap even though not on mains.
The horses have plenty of space for now. They are all on the "well" side so need restriction anyway and I think it's good they are not hanging around by the gate too much. I will move them back when they need the grass though.

OP posts:
MrsExpo · 08/07/2019 20:53

Move it to the field boundary and let them keep touching it til they realise it’s not for crossing. Works for the horses, why not kids.

(Fellow horse owner here .... I feel your pain).

BlackCatSleeping · 08/07/2019 23:39

Sounds like the fence is working well. I hope they stay out from now on.

OrchidInTheSun · 08/07/2019 23:47

People shouldn't be allowed to live rurally unless they have basic livestock understanding.

Hope the fence does the trick. Kids need to know to respect animals

fifig87 · 09/07/2019 00:07

Hopefully they stay out now. Agree with previous posters to get a camera, might come in handy someday.

I grew up on a farm and used to love pulling down the fence with a stick to hit the ground 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ Got zapped plenty of times hopping it as well.

billybagpuss · 09/07/2019 06:17

I would still write to the LL to let him know what’s been happening and what you’ve done just to cover your back.

francescadrake · 09/07/2019 06:34

It’s a real shame you have had to go to these lengths, OP. Nobody wants to have to shock small children. But the parents need to control their kids, so don’t back down.

Skittlesandbeer · 09/07/2019 07:07

Hmmmm shame to pay rent on that extra 10mt strip and not use it for something. Maybe a nice big long muck heap? With the extra bonus that whatever they throw over the wall comes back to them well dung-ified.

You are very level-headed and calm. I’d have lobbed some poo over by now, for sure. Not to be advised, but that sort of thing makes me a bit irrational!

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