About periods and holidays

[brummiesue]

Since turning 40 my cycle has changed a bit and ia anything from 23 days to 30. My periods are 'normal' last about a week with heavy/uncomfortable first 2 days tailing off. I cant use tampons or take norethisterone.
So my aibu, I have 3 weeks off work to go on holiday, because of my cycle I wanted to hold of booking until I had my last period so I could judge when best to go (for a week) to avoid having it while away in a hot country. We are looking for villas and my dh has thrown a wobbly saying that we have missed out on all the best villas leaving it until the last minute, apparantly noone else is ruled by their periods the way I am and I should just manage thoughts??

How do you think the women who live in these countries manage?

I don’t think you are being unreasonable, but have you thought of taking noristerone ( not sure of spelling) but it’s a pill you take three times a day to delay your period.

Well you aren't "like" other women in terms of managing since you cannot use the tablets or a tampon. Could the contraceptive pill be used to hold it back?

Oh sorry just read you can’t use noristerone. Sorry. Don’t know how I missed that. All the more important then, that you get the right dates for you. Are transexamic tablets to reduce the flow also out?

Get a mooncup (mumsnet bingo score there), some ibuprofen and shower twice a day. Get a villa with a bidet.

It's a period. And by the sound of it a pretty normal one.

Why can't you use tampons?

Nice answer Polpot .

Some of our lives are ruled by periods and associated pain, bowel issues, flooding etc. My life was until I had a hysterectomy. Be very thankful if you are one of the lucky ones who don't have to give this sort of thing a second thought. And don't make others feel bad if they suffer. That applies to the op's DH too!

YANBU op

Gosh he’s a bit of an arse isn’t he. Lots of women are ruled by their periods, we’re just not allowed to have it impact men

The point of your holiday is to relax and enjoy yourself, which is easier when you’re not bloated and in pain and are able to enjoy the pool/trips out without planning round loo stops. I think it’s pretty normal to plan your holidays for when you’re not on your period, which of course gets trickier as things go haywire.

Your DH IBU and pretty stupid. My dad was similar, complaining about stopping at services to use the loo again when I’m sure he’d have been furious had we bled onto the seats of his car.

Tallgreenbottle. You say blithely "it's a period" like it's nothing and the op shouldn't be complaining. Can you not imagine the possibility that some periods may be worse than others? That some people suffer with them more than others? Not all periods are the same.

The op's periods may be "normal" but they are still bad enough for her to not want to go on holiday if at all possible while she is having it. That's entirely reasonable in my view.

Why can't you use tampons? I'm not saying you should, just wondered why you can't.

It does sound like you have quite a regular period and if it’s just 2 bad days it’s not going to ruin a holiday is it?
Plenty of people book holidays months and even a year in advance and will have periods on holidays.

I don't think I've ever met anyone who has the luxury of booking holidays around their period. I mean, I get why it would be nice to be able to, but usually there are so many other factors to do with time off work and other people's schedules and when things are available, that if it works out to miss your period it's nice, but it can't dictate everything. Like in your situation, where your period is unpredictable (mine is anything from 3-11 weeks at the moment), it's just unrealistic to not make any plans until you know. So I do think you are being a bit unreasonable, tbh.

It's tricky. He's right that the best villas get booked up fast but to be honest the best ones will have been booked by January.

I'm 40 and still on the pill so I just run packs together for holidays. I can't stay on it forever though and it will be a pain when I have to come off it. I'm happy to swim with tampons though.

Some of the period pants companies have brought out period swimwear, worth a look maybe?

It’s crazy to book a three week holiday at less than a month’s notice, most people would book between 4 and 6 months in advance or availability will be v limited and flight prices sky high.

I cant use tampons, I have said that, I really dont understand why people are questioning me when I have clearly stated that, if you must know I have a prolapse and they hardly stay in.

Period pants. Go where you like.

Could you try a different way of delaying periods?

I had a dreadful experience with Noresthisterone but have used Provera to excellent effect several times since.

Look on the bright side, your DH clearly doesn’t mind about holiday sex being while you are on your period!

I book my hols for when I've just finished my period if I can because I get really low and am zero fun to be around/feel depressed.
On the other hand he just doesn't get it Does he and is disappointed to miss out on some accomm. At least you can now tell him, that yes, plenty of other women do book their hols around their periods!
My dh used to say things like this but has leant not to!

A holiday where I couldn't go swimming would be a total waste of a holiday for me, so YANBU to find this to be a problem. I have always planned my holidays around my cycle.

Personally, I am too uptight to book a holiday at the last minute though, so I can see both points of view.

Transexamic acid can make a big difference.

Is it the not being able to swim/worrying about flooding, or do you get migraines? It’s easier to help if you explain which bit of the period is problematic.

I'm perimenopausal and my period has just arrived a few days late just before we're about to go on holiday. It is a pain, my flow is erratic and even with tampons it's crap having to think about changing them each time I'm in and out of the pool. As long as you can still find a holiday that meets your needs I think YANBU to want to avoid your period.

Well I have fibroids, which makes for some seriously epic periods and scary PMS. I’ve had surgery, but they’ve grown back. Now I’m marking time until menopause, or until it gets bad enough for another surgery.

I book the holidays in my family. My cycle plays in the background of my mind when I’m researching dates, but it isn’t the deciding factor like it seems to be in yours. Frankly, out of every 5 weeks, if I had to guess ahead exactly which dates I’ll be ropable, Vesuvius or randy I’d have to be psychic. I’m unlikely to hit the bullseye. But my family’s happiness is much easier to plan for, so I base our holidays on that (99%). And hope I get lucky, cycle-wise.

With so many modern aids to dealing with (even bad) periods, I think it’s up to you (and me) to find solutions or ways to make it bearable. Holidays get planned for the benefit of the group. You aren’t more important because you have a quirk that makes, say, swimming a bit more of a challenge. Sort yourself out, sorry.

I feel your pain op, I have very heavy periods and recently booked a holiday just after my last period so I could judge it and actually enjoy all of my holiday.

YANBU. My periods went haywire in my 40s too - I also planned holidays around them where I could. On one holiday I was on, I couldn't leave the villa all day for 2 days because it was so heavy. I was hot, sweaty, in pain and bloated. It spoiled days of my precious holiday.

Your husband sounds like an arse. I agree with the PP who said we're not allowed to let our periods impact men.

You'll get more helpful answers if you're not so snappy OP.

I had a run of three holidays where I had my period. It wasn't fun, especially when I flooded and left the pristine white bed looking like a murder scene.

I had a chat with my GP who offered the pill to take for a couple of months either side. She said to take it continuously then stop once I'd been on holiday. Worked well for me.