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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’ve done everything I could...right?

188 replies

hmga90 · 08/07/2019 00:34

Something awful happened today- cat darted out in front of my car out of a garden on to a main road. Absolutely nothing I could do. If I swerved I would of hit the car coming in the other direction and naturally (as sad as it is/sounds) in that split second I would of rather harmed the cat then another human being or myself.

Anyway went and knocked on the door of the house the garden the cat came out of, and left the cat under a hedge covered by a blanket. Nobody answered the door, so posted a note explaining what had happened, apologising and left my number in case they wanted to contact me.

I’ve been inundated all night with abusive texts messages- how I’ve broken 3 children’s hearts, they will hunt me down and “slice me”. At least 20 of them, and countless phone calls off an unknown number. I’ve texted the number again expressing my apologises but that the messages are being taken seriously and will be reported to the police if they continue.

They are still texting to this moment- another has come through as I am typing this thread.

AIBU I’m ringing the police? I understand they are upset but surely this is extreme?

OP posts:
EllenMP · 09/07/2019 18:15

You did everything you could so don't feel bad. Do call the police though, if they are threatening you. My cat was killed by a car ten years ago when we were out and someone removed him from the road and put him in our garden on a flattened cardboard box. I really appreciated the gesture of respect by whoever did that.

SusieOwl4 · 09/07/2019 18:16

you do nothing wrong - report the malicious messages .

angelfacecuti75 · 09/07/2019 18:16

Isn't it said now or at least it did say that by law if you can't safely stop for an animal that runs in the road that you SHOULDN'T stop if it's dangerous? Maybe ring the non emergency number 101 and give them the address of the family and their phone no & details of the abusive messages? Sure they are upset but it was an accident not a murder ?!

BlueJava · 09/07/2019 18:17

Report to the police and keep a record of the messages (screen shots).

Anonmummyoftwo · 09/07/2019 18:19

What awful people. You didnt kill the cat for a laugh you lifted it and covered it you gave your number and now they are sending awful texts. Ring to police and change your number. You did more than most people would

VampirateQueen · 09/07/2019 18:24

Report them.

OJZJ · 09/07/2019 18:24

I wish whoever hit and killed our beautiful Siamese had shown the same level of respect you did, instead our neighbours found him lying in the middle of the road in broad daylight.
You did entirely the right thing sad as it was. I remember when I was young my mum's neighbours teenager swerved to avoid a rabbit and killed himself and two friends whilst giving his girlfriend life changing injuries.
Hope you called the police... .Will read yo the end of the thread and find out now

user1498572889 · 09/07/2019 18:28

Change your phone number.

Fromage · 09/07/2019 18:30

This is why some people hit an animal and don't contact the owner - in case they turn out to be a nutjob.

A woman ran over my dad's dog and killed it years ago - she knocked on the door sobbing uncontrollably and apologising, and he ended up comforting her! I think that she was so upset was something of a comfort to him, weirdly, because he could tell it was so obviously an accident and she wouldn't feel so bad about it if she were heartless.

What I've learned from this thread is that should I ever hit an animal with my car, I will set up an email address there and then that I can leave in a note. At least if they turn out to be nutters I can delete the email address (after forwarding email to the police)

You did the right thing, OP. I'm sorry - horrible experience for you.

QuimReaper · 09/07/2019 18:32

If you can't break for something or someone that steps into the road you are going too fast

I've tripped over my cat at walking speed when she's bolted out of a doorway into my path. What rubbish [confused[

user1476013826 · 09/07/2019 18:33

Maybe after trying the house if the cat was still alive, you could have taken the cat to a vet. The owners are obviously very upset, you killed a member of their family, no need for you to make it worse by calling the police. Be kind and understanding.

Kallyderon · 09/07/2019 18:36

Oh behave. 🙄

user1471449295 · 09/07/2019 18:37

Definitely call the police. As sad as it is, cats have been and always likely be hit by cars

anxiousnow · 09/07/2019 18:38

Hopefully you're not in this position again but if you are, please take the cat to a vets. Children always investigate something new by their house and discovering their mangled dead cat would be horrific. Any other wildlife could have uncovered the cat or damaged it further. This said, you tried to do the right thing and shouldn't get abuse for it. Just block the number. Double upsetting experience op.

Denise3011 · 09/07/2019 18:40

There’s being understandably upset and then there’s threatening to stab someone!
Be understanding?!
Bet you write letters to killers in prison 🙄

Needmorecoffeeortea · 09/07/2019 18:41

The abuse is unacceptable. Report to the police on 101.

XXVaginaAndAUterus · 09/07/2019 18:47

Did you not attempt to brake?

Oh do get right out of here. Where do you get off, speaking to somebody like that who if already upset about hitting a cat and is now being threatened with knife violence?!

@user1476013826

And what the heck are you on too?! Glue, the lot of you! No matter how badly I might be grieving my pet I'd never threaten knife crime violence against anybody or send them repeated threatening messages and calls. They lost the right to sympathy when they did that and their actions should rightly be taken very seriously and reported to the police.

Thehop · 09/07/2019 18:49

You’re not legally required to stop for a cat, though you are a dog.

How are you getting in OP?

M4ndixxx · 09/07/2019 18:54

Ring 101 & report the abuse 😡
Then block the numbers 🤐

saraclara · 09/07/2019 18:59

I saw a cat be run over a few weeks ago. The car was doing 10-15mph max. It was dark and the cat appeared out of nowhere and dashed straight under the car's wheels. It was horrific. I can't bear to describe what happened, but it would have died within seconds. I'm afraid I was a terrible coward and had to leave the scene.

No-one, NO-ONE could have blamed the driver, and anyone trying to blame the OP really can do one. It's an awful thing to witness, and I can't imagine how I'd feel if I was the driver.

YadiYadiYada · 09/07/2019 19:01

If you can't break for something or someone that steps into the road you are going too fast

I turned out of a junction on my estate the other day doing no more than about 15 mph. A cat darted out of a garden to my right and before I'd even had chance to blink I saw it disappear right under my car and I emergency braked.

I already have whiplash from an unrelated incident. The emergency stop caused me significant pain.

I jumped out of the car anxiously anticipating a flattened cat, panicking about what I might find. But I found nothing.

I frantically looked around for an injured/dead cat and to my right and saw the same cat nonchalantly licking its testicles on the porch of the house opposite, like sod all had happened!

That cat must've run out so fast it just zipped straight under my car without even knowing I'd driven right over the top if it.

Those little fuckers are fast. You don't have to be driving at speed to be caught off-guard.

gamerchick · 09/07/2019 19:01

Under uk law, you now have to report the incident to the police anyway

I don't think you do.

Report them to the police as has bee said OP. They'll go and have a word.

This is why you don't leave a phone number.

Inertia · 09/07/2019 19:05

You can't put the lives of other road users at risk to avoid an animal which has bolted onto the road.

I would report the threats to the police.

Jeeperscreepers69 · 09/07/2019 19:09

Next time put the cat on the pavement and walk away. Its sad but rather hit cat than person or cause a accident. Slice you? Phone the police they sound scummy and unhinged

TigerTooth · 09/07/2019 19:13

I’m not sure that I would report it to the police - I had to stand as a witness in a knife crime incident, the boy was from the PRU next to the school I work in.
They offered a screen in court but then put me in the same waiting room as him so he saw me and recognised me as I often pass him and other boys from there on the way into my school. So he then knew what I looked like and he knew where I worked! Great!
He’s in prison now but in my experience the police don’t care for the safety / anonymity of victims and witnesses and through police intervention they may well find out who you are. I would block the number and ignore, unless you gave your whole name which is more worrying and maybe you have to get police involved as you are traceable anyway.
Sorry this happened to you, I hope they see sense soon.