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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’ve done everything I could...right?

188 replies

hmga90 · 08/07/2019 00:34

Something awful happened today- cat darted out in front of my car out of a garden on to a main road. Absolutely nothing I could do. If I swerved I would of hit the car coming in the other direction and naturally (as sad as it is/sounds) in that split second I would of rather harmed the cat then another human being or myself.

Anyway went and knocked on the door of the house the garden the cat came out of, and left the cat under a hedge covered by a blanket. Nobody answered the door, so posted a note explaining what had happened, apologising and left my number in case they wanted to contact me.

I’ve been inundated all night with abusive texts messages- how I’ve broken 3 children’s hearts, they will hunt me down and “slice me”. At least 20 of them, and countless phone calls off an unknown number. I’ve texted the number again expressing my apologises but that the messages are being taken seriously and will be reported to the police if they continue.

They are still texting to this moment- another has come through as I am typing this thread.

AIBU I’m ringing the police? I understand they are upset but surely this is extreme?

OP posts:
StoneofDestiny · 09/07/2019 11:06

If you can't break for something or someone that steps into the road you are going too fast

Ridiculous! I’ve had cats leap in front of me with cars behind me and on the other side of the road. Certain carnage if I’d braked!.
Likewise I know someone whose relative was killed swerving to avoid a deer that rushed out of the forest / swerved straight into another car and car hit the wall. Every witness and the inquest found him fault free and driving within limits!
Don’t make innocent drivers feel guilty for putting their own lives first!

Madratlady · 09/07/2019 11:19

Our cat got knocked down by a driver who went flying down our street and didn’t stop. It was horrific, he was horribly injured and we had to get him to the vet to be put to sleep. It would have helped a bit if the driver had stopped and apologised. You did the right thing.

Oliversmumsarmy · 09/07/2019 11:29

Why would there be certain carnage if you had braked? Surely the car behind would have been able to stop or were they going to fast and too close.

I do a lot of driving and this thread confirms what I see everyday.

People drive too fast and too close to the car in front and if you can’t see the pavements then anything could step out in front of your wheels.

Would you have braked if it was a child running into the road and not given a second thought to the ensuing “carnage”

Oliversmumsarmy · 09/07/2019 11:32

Madratlady

It would have been even better if the driver had driven slower so that he could have braked and your cat be alive.

In our area they don’t even stop when they have run over people.
They are left to die at the side of the road

Teachermaths · 09/07/2019 16:01

People drive too fast and too close to the car in front and if you can’t see the pavements then anything could step out in front of your wheels.

Not every road has a pavement. In fact the majority of road doesn't. So this argument is stupid.

Animals can move very fast. I drive down a straight country lane at 60mph regularly. Once a fox shot out between my wheels. Braking wouldn't have helped. The fox just got very unlucky.

The whole world isn't out to get you you know!! I bet you drive at 35mph on all roads

StoneofDestiny · 09/07/2019 16:31

Would you have braked if it was a child running into the road and not given a second thought to the ensuing “carnage”

Yes - I would brake for a child and put my life at risk and no doubt the lives of others. I'd no risk my life or the life of another human for a cat if it wasn't safe to do so.

Bozlem80 · 09/07/2019 17:30

Report them to the police! My cat was sadly knocked over last October, the driver stopped & told us, as sad as it was we didn’t blame the driver & thanked them for stopping as our little fur boy didn’t die alone (rushed to vets but too late)

Tigerlilly17 · 09/07/2019 17:31

Under uk law, you now have to report the incident to the police anyway. But definitely report the harassment at the same time.

Leontine · 09/07/2019 17:36

The texts are unacceptable, however if anything like that happens again I’d suggest taking the cat to a local vet so that the owner can decide whether to pick it up for burial or leave it for cremation, rather than just leaving it’s dead body in the garden (even if it was wrapped up).

adviceseeker1975 · 09/07/2019 17:42

What absolute mentalists! I would have done the exact same thing and definitely contact the police if they’re being abusive xxx

listsandbudgets · 09/07/2019 17:45

OP - our kitten was hit by a car in the night and killed a few weeks ago. We don't know who did it, our neighbour just heard something and went out and found him in the middle of the road in a pool of blood. No note, no nothing :(. Chldren were so upset it broke my heart but even if I'd known who did it and had their number I wouldn't be sending a stream of abuse.

You sound so caring, thank you for taking the time to put the cat where s/he'd not suffer any more damage. You did what you could.

Block their number and ignore them. Its not as if you went out planning to murder a cat, it was an accident :(

TenDays · 09/07/2019 17:45

You did nothing wrong and indeed were kind to stop and let the owners know.

Threatening to hunt you down and injure you is not on. It's illegal.
Keep the texts to show to the police if the messages don't stop.

GabsAlot · 09/07/2019 17:46

You did everything and more i would have appreicated you telling me and bringing my cat back

phone the police

poshtotty2 · 09/07/2019 17:47

I’d inform the police, just to see what they say.

Poor you, I found a lost cat after seeing a notice on a lamppost, phoned the owners and they didn’t care or want the cat anymore, so I took it to the vets. I never help with lost cats now as people are so ungrateful.

Mummyto2munchkins · 09/07/2019 17:47

I work in a Veterinary Practice OP, you couldn't have done any more. We see RTAs all the time with cats, they just bolt sometimes. (we had one today, the lady who hit the cat brought it in to see if it was chipped)
I hope you've reported to the police. You tried your best by knocking the door, they didn't answer. You put a blanket over it in a hedge (so that children wouldn't be able to see it - but the owners would know where it was) you also put a note through the door explaining what had happened.
I wish more people were like you! Some people bring cats in saying they've found it/witnessed the cat be hit.
Don't be hard on yourself, and I hope you're OK Flowers

Carlyjb38 · 09/07/2019 17:48

Report ASAP.. That's abusive and intimidating behaviour... God love you, as a cat owner myself and know what they can be like too, you done the right thing as it could of been much worse also. Chin up

BeckyBec · 09/07/2019 17:53

Don’t hesitate...call the police and report them

jwc2019 · 09/07/2019 17:53

You've done the best you could under the circumstances. Call the police, report the harassment, block the numbers or even change your number as a safety measure, stop beating yourself up over this sad incident. The pet's owners have vented their loss into hateful ugliness in frustration and anger; they need psychological help or guidance. The police need to chat with the pet's owner/family.

rainbowunicorn · 09/07/2019 17:58

@Oliversmumsarmy you seem to be projecting a bit here. There is nothing to suggest that the OP was going too fast. It is perfectly possible to run over an animal without being able to avoid it at low speeds. I have witnessed a cat run under someones car between the front and back wheels ad be hit by the back wheel. It is not always a clear cut the driver was going to fast.
I think it is very unfair to try and make the OP feel worse than she already does. She appears to have done as much as she could to contact the owners and is obviously very upset.

Gentlygrowingoldermale · 09/07/2019 18:03

Pat yourself on the back OP for being a decent human being.

Report the horrible people to Police.

Once a cat flew across the road so fast I didn’t have time to brake. Fortunately it survived, how I don’t know. I do know I'd have been mortified if it had died despite it not being my fault.

All the best to you.

LuckyLou7 · 09/07/2019 18:05

Please do inform the police. If this family are able to track you down through social media, their threats to cause you harm could be made real. It's a devastating experience to run over an animal, you have my sympathies.

Honeyroar · 09/07/2019 18:06

I saw a cat get hit by a car going the opposite way. The cat jumped off a steep wall and ran into the road just as the car was going past. There was absolutely no way that the car could have avoided it. However the heartless bastard left it writhing about in the road howling. He absolutely must have seen it. I ended up scooping it up and taking it to the nearest vets (am now paranoid that the vets would've thought I was lying and had hit it myself after reading pp's comments!). Luckily the cat ended up ok, he must've been winded, and the owners were found. I've also had one of my cats come home with a bloody face and a snapped tooth - again the vets think he probably ran into the path of a car, face planted and bounced off. He too was lucky. Cats spook and bolt, and when they do they don't always look.

OP I think you did everything you could and they are well out of order. They really do need reporting for horrible threats like that. It's not acceptable, however upset they were.

SagAloojah · 09/07/2019 18:06

Sounds like this is just the excuse someone needed to kick off at someone innocent needlessly. Sorry OP, you did a nice thing leaving your number after an avoidable unfortunate event.

SaraRC · 09/07/2019 18:08

What they are doing is a crime. Physical threats and malicious communications. Report it to police asap.

yyz112 · 09/07/2019 18:11

Report them to the police

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