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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’ve done everything I could...right?

188 replies

hmga90 · 08/07/2019 00:34

Something awful happened today- cat darted out in front of my car out of a garden on to a main road. Absolutely nothing I could do. If I swerved I would of hit the car coming in the other direction and naturally (as sad as it is/sounds) in that split second I would of rather harmed the cat then another human being or myself.

Anyway went and knocked on the door of the house the garden the cat came out of, and left the cat under a hedge covered by a blanket. Nobody answered the door, so posted a note explaining what had happened, apologising and left my number in case they wanted to contact me.

I’ve been inundated all night with abusive texts messages- how I’ve broken 3 children’s hearts, they will hunt me down and “slice me”. At least 20 of them, and countless phone calls off an unknown number. I’ve texted the number again expressing my apologises but that the messages are being taken seriously and will be reported to the police if they continue.

They are still texting to this moment- another has come through as I am typing this thread.

AIBU I’m ringing the police? I understand they are upset but surely this is extreme?

OP posts:
BigChocFrenzy · 08/07/2019 11:53

I failed my first driving test. many years ago, for braking too hard to avoid a cat

  • I was driving at the correct speed and I didn't swerve, because I had been taught not to

Feedback via my instructor was that I endangered the car behind me for an animal

BigChocFrenzy · 08/07/2019 11:57

If I had been driving much below the limit, to avoid animals - not kids - I would have failed for that instead

lmusic87 · 08/07/2019 12:04

Are they still harassing you OP?

Just try to be relieved they don't have an address. xxx

MsMD · 08/07/2019 12:28

If you can't break for something or someone that steps into the road you are going too fast

This is ridiculous and untrue. You'd have to be driving only a few MPH to be able to stop ANY time anything ran out, because what if they run out DIRECTLY in front of your car? You're assuming you're always given several feet to brake but the reality is someone or something can step out literally a foot in front of your car and you can hit them through no fault of your own.

MrsGideon · 08/07/2019 12:52

Oliversmumsarmy You drive at 10mph in every build up area?! That's just utterly ridiculous and will not endear you to any of your fellow drivers. In fact, my driving instructor used to tell me off for going too slowly if there wasn't a very good reason for it (e.g. in the town centre where I live which has several bends, bumps, pedestrian crossings, parked cars and non-traffic lit junctions)

Whosorrynow · 08/07/2019 12:54

It was a cat, you can't be expected to put yourself in danger for the sake of a cat.
The owners of the cat are responsible for keeping it safe.

TanMateix · 08/07/2019 13:11

They are proper nutters, I would report the “slice comment” to the police and their address, and take my photo off my WhatsApp profile for a while.

The police won’t do anything apart of taking the report and talk to them about stoping. But don’t feel tempted to leave it unreported , they seem like dangerous people and someone has to remind them that the easiest thing for you to do was to leave the cat in the middle of the road where it could have been further ran over by other cars. The cat was already dead anyway, simple as that.

Norma27 · 08/07/2019 15:47

To pp saying you should always be able to stop if somebody steps in front of you - all I can say is what Bollocks.

As mentioned earlier, my stepdad stepped into a car in December at a pedestrian crossing. The lights were in the driver’s favour. The driver was a couple of miles above the 30mph speed limit and rightly was deemed not to be at fault. There is no way he could have stopped and prevented hitting him.

Oliversmumsarmy · 08/07/2019 16:43

Feedback via my instructor was that I endangered the car behind me for an animal

Wouldn’t that mean the car behind going into the back of yours would mean the car driver was driving too close to stop.

In some areas yes I do travel at around 10mph. Especially when you can’t see around a corner or there are houses and parked cars on the side of the road.

Driving slowly has avoided killing one child.

The just a cat type comments are not thinking about what that cat means to the family.

Our cat was run over just a few weeks after dp my children’s father was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

Can you imagine the effect of the death of our little cat had on our family.

We chose the lane we are on because it was cat friendly. We didn’t realise at the time people would be such maniacs.

Latest death in the vicinity was a hit and run The driver left the person on the side of the road

SummerSix · 08/07/2019 19:09

Leaving the cat outside on the doorstep with a blanket covering it? Seriously?

You see it from their POV -

You come home with kids
Find a bundle on front step
Unwrap the bundle
Be horrified that its your cat and its dead
Try to explain to your devastated children what has happened.

You should have left a note and taken the cat to the nearest vets. Apologise and tell them you screwed up in more ways than one. Theres nothing you can do about it.

Norfolkenchancemate · 08/07/2019 19:17

@SummerSix it definitely says she left the cat under a hedge.

QuestionableMouse · 08/07/2019 19:17

The only vet near me open at that time is the emergency vet that is in the next town and is at least 20mins away. They also won't take dead animals.

SolitudeAtAltitude · 08/07/2019 19:22

Call the police and say these people are threatening you with assault and death.

It's not something one just "puts up with"

MINEareCRAFTy · 08/07/2019 19:26

Norma27 you sound like such a kind person.

Call the Police, you poor thing Sad

MINEareCRAFTy · 08/07/2019 19:27

Sorry, I meant @Norma27 Smile

RebootYourEngine · 08/07/2019 19:28

I don't think you could have done anything more. Report them for harassment.

Teachermaths · 08/07/2019 19:29

Oliversmumsarmy

Sometimes the cat is at fault you know!! If it runs out in front of a road, it's likely to be hit.

Spare a thought for the driver who has unintentionally injured an animal through no fault of their own.

ShowMeTheKittens · 08/07/2019 19:42

Making threats of physical violence is against the law. You best tell the Police for you worn safety and perhaps change your number. They sound just completely nasty.

SunshineCake · 08/07/2019 19:43

Upset people don't threaten to slice people [hmm. Don't be silly.

OP, you've had your safety threaten of course you must ring the police.

Littlejets · 08/07/2019 19:43

I'm not entirely sure if it was passed but I think there is a new law that come in this year that if you hit a cat you must report it to the police.

Drogonssmile · 08/07/2019 19:49

That's 100% not on. If you'd hit my cat and done that I'd have been grateful you covered her up and had the decency to own up and let me know. It was an accident. No way would I even dream of abusing you like that. Completely out of order.
Police if it doesn't stop, definitely.

frami · 08/07/2019 19:56

Do report them. Different circumstances which are not relevant here but my daughter received threats of a similar nature. For various reasons we decided not to go to the Police. My eldest who now works force went mad telling me that I ought to have reported it.

StoneofDestiny · 08/07/2019 20:04

Call police.
Don't answer their texts
Block the number.

imsuchagrump · 08/07/2019 20:10

Just block the number some people are batshit Shock

Norma27 · 09/07/2019 10:00

Thank you @MINEareCRAFTy
I don’t think I’m kind though, just realistic. It has been a tough time for all involved, including the driver and his family. I would have felt differently had the driver been speeding or drunk but he was just a family man who had picked up his daughter from work and was involved in a tragic accident.