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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’ve done everything I could...right?

188 replies

hmga90 · 08/07/2019 00:34

Something awful happened today- cat darted out in front of my car out of a garden on to a main road. Absolutely nothing I could do. If I swerved I would of hit the car coming in the other direction and naturally (as sad as it is/sounds) in that split second I would of rather harmed the cat then another human being or myself.

Anyway went and knocked on the door of the house the garden the cat came out of, and left the cat under a hedge covered by a blanket. Nobody answered the door, so posted a note explaining what had happened, apologising and left my number in case they wanted to contact me.

I’ve been inundated all night with abusive texts messages- how I’ve broken 3 children’s hearts, they will hunt me down and “slice me”. At least 20 of them, and countless phone calls off an unknown number. I’ve texted the number again expressing my apologises but that the messages are being taken seriously and will be reported to the police if they continue.

They are still texting to this moment- another has come through as I am typing this thread.

AIBU I’m ringing the police? I understand they are upset but surely this is extreme?

OP posts:
Bunnyfuller · 08/07/2019 07:14

Use the ‘block’ function on your phone. If they text from other numbers block them too.

It would need to have gone on longer than a day for the police to look at malicious communications.

Marnie76 · 08/07/2019 07:19

Was good they weren’t there when you tried to find them, you could have been attacked. I would definitely contact the police in case this escalates

SnuggyBuggy · 08/07/2019 07:24

Definitely report to the police. What vile people. I always thought I do the decent thing if I ran over a cat or dog but I can't blame people for not wanting to take the risk.

DonkeyHohtay · 08/07/2019 07:28

Your mistake was leaving your number! What hideous people.

EleanorReally · 08/07/2019 07:29

what hideous people, i agree,
just keep blocking op.
you have every right to block the abusive texts.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 08/07/2019 07:32

Definitely report. Loss of a pet doesn't give someone the right to make threats!

CockleburIck · 08/07/2019 07:38

Hmm, you can’t even really be sure that you got the right people, though. Cats wander around. This may not have been the cat’s house, and unless it had a collar/tag I’m not sure why you would presume so. You may just have given your number to a random nutter.

Anyway, as they’re threatening to “hunt you down and slice you” then you should report to the police.

DocusDiplo · 08/07/2019 07:42

Norma27 Flowers

Dillydallyalltheway · 08/07/2019 07:42

Poor you Flowers

You need to call the police, block their number and just ignore them. It was an accident, you did all you could and that’s the end of it.

Lovemusic33 · 08/07/2019 07:49

Don’t ring the police, just block them on your phone and move on. They are obviously upset and probably not thinking rationally, not as though that’s an excuse to be so nasty. As long as they don’t know where you live I wouldn’t worry. You did everything right, these things happen and you were nice enough to leave a note. Block and move on x

Wheresthebeach · 08/07/2019 07:52

Block the numbers and report the threats to the police. How frightening for you.

SparklyMagpie · 08/07/2019 07:52

Years ago when my cat was knocked over, he'd just been left on the road and the driver quickly shot off. It turns out that a lady in a house opposite saw the whole thing and ran out and took my cat to the vets up the road and stayed there until a family friend went to identify him.

I never found out who that lady was but I will be eternally grateful what she did for him that day and how she went out of her way to try and make him as comfortable as possible before he slipped away.

He'd been missing for a week and I was out every day/night searching. To know he was looked after in his final moments always comforted me thanks to that lady an I wish there was a way we could have found her

You did the right thing OP, and i agree with the others, thank god they wasn't in when you knocked

You must have had a real fright :(

MustardScreams · 08/07/2019 07:53

Do contact the police. It was a tragic accident, and you did the right thing.

Billben · 08/07/2019 07:54

Definitely ring the police and ask them to pay these people a visit. I ran over a cat a few weeks ago. It shot out from a hedge on a countryside lane right under my wheel. I didn’t even see what I had hit until I came to a stop and the cat staggered out from under my car dazed and confused. It then ran off into a field, I followed but then lost sight of it. We’ve had a cat killed on the road and the person was very apologetic when he knocked on our door but that’s just life. Didn’t blame him at all cos I know what cats are like.

Billben · 08/07/2019 08:05

This may not have been the cat’s house, and unless it had a collar/tag I’m not sure why you would presume so*

Are you really not sure why she would presume so or are you just trying to be awkward. How about maybe because the cat came out of that house’s garden. Now I know that cats wonder in and out of neighbour’s gardens but most people’s first presumption would be the same as OP’s.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 08/07/2019 08:08

I’d just block and ignore but you have every right to go to the police. Any possibility the msgs aren’t from the cat owner but a weirdo/ psycho who found the note?

Help24 · 08/07/2019 08:16

You did the right thing.

My cat was killed a few years ago by a dog, the owner took my darling boy to the vet and left his number. I text the number and thanked him for taking him there so we could say goodbye. Yes i was angry and upset but i never acted like this. He even offered money to treat the children, of course i refused it. He fully expected me to flip out at him but he was just as upset as we were and it wouldnt have achieved anything.

Block the numbers, call the poilce.

CockleburIck · 08/07/2019 08:16

are you just trying to be awkward. How about maybe because the cat came out of that house’s garden

FFS I already addressed this. Cats wander around. There are several cats I regularly see in my garden. They’re not mine. I said that this MAY not have been the right house.

CoraPirbright · 08/07/2019 08:33

I would be heartbroken if ddog was knocked over and killed but never in a million years would I behave like this! If the texts were just about how awful you are and how devastated they are then I would block and ignore but the threats make me think a visit to the cop shop would be in order.

ptumbi · 08/07/2019 08:37

Did you not attempt to brake? - oh what a great idea! Hmm If only, OP, you had thought to brake! You know, like you are supposed to, when faced with something in front of you, and you can't swerve!

Hindsight is a fantastic thing, but if only you had thought to use those things that stop the car, the cat might be ok. Hmm

Fucking Stupidest question on the Internet today. Hmm

Do go to the Police, OP. That is what they are there for. They can tell you if it not worth the bother, and to 'just' block. OR - they could go and see the people and shut them.

Widgetsframe · 08/07/2019 08:41

Cockleburick it was the right house, otherwise the cat owners wouldn’t be contacting the OP? I can’t imagine they would be doing that if it wasn’t their cat?

OP you did the right thing. I would block the number but also tell the police as they have made threats of violence to you.

SparklyMagpie · 08/07/2019 08:43

"FFS I already addressed this. Cats wander around. There are several cats I regularly see in my garden. They’re not mine. I said that this MAY not have been the right house"

What would you have done in this situation?

CockleburIck · 08/07/2019 08:48

I’m really not sure, Sparkly ... I didn’t say OP did the wrong thing, only that it may have been the wrong house.

Widgets as I said, she may have got a random weirdo, in which case they might be doing something like this for twisted fun. Again this is a MAY.

Skittlesandbeer · 08/07/2019 08:52

I guess it’s possible that you left your details at the wrong house, but they thought they’d just make your life difficult in the hope that a nice person might pay out?

Either way, block them and think no more of it. Walk proud that you did the right thing, and are a good community-minded person. You already knew there were some assholes around, now you know the address of some. Lord knows that cat might even be in a better place.

If you can’t shake off the guilt, donate to a local cat charity and THEN move on.

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 08/07/2019 08:55

Our cat was hit by a car and the woman driving posted what had happened on our local FB page as cat had run off. I knew it was our cat as it happened directly outside our house and our cat hadn't come home.
I was so grateful to her as it meant I went looking for him and found him injured under a bush. I was able to take him to the vet and he recovered.
She felt terrible but, as I told her, it just wasn't her fault - cats dart out into roads all the time.
If I was you I'd go to the police - people saying they are going to "slice" you is not something to be taken lightly. And grief is no excuse.