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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

NDN is an idiot

108 replies

Lemonlady22 · 07/07/2019 10:52

Had problems with the NDN before but thats in the past, tend to ignore now except hellos. Im not well at the moment so maybe its made me a bit touchy, anyway wake up to the engine of his car running(not for the first time) five minutes later he puts children in car, leaves them in it and goes back indoors. ten minutes go by ive and had enough so i go outside and wait another five minutes, there front door is open, the car is in the street by the way, he comes out so i said 'im ill in bed listening to your car engine for the last 10 to fifteen minutes why do you do that all the time' he said a few things but the main thing is that 'the kids are in there watching a dvd' so i said 'you shouldnt be leaving children in a car alone with the engine running'... he got all shitty and said 'so youve never left your children in the car like that' i said 'no actually i havent because its illegal and anyone could get in your car and drive away'...he then just got in the car and ignored me (his wife was still indoors)...so i just said 'its ok i will ring social services then' and i went indoors...so am i being unreasonable, is this a new thing (we didnt have dvd player in our car when my kids were young ) is it ever ok to leave children in the car with engines running?

OP posts:

Whisky2014 · 07/07/2019 10:54

I think people can be a little too precious about this kind if thing tbh.

InTheHeatofLisbon · 07/07/2019 10:56

Actually it's dangerous to leave anyone in a car that's stationary but running, for carbon monoxide. We covered it during H&S training last week.

He's an arse.

Summertimeatthebeach · 07/07/2019 10:57

He is a twat.

thisismeusernameything · 07/07/2019 10:57

Give the poor guy a break. You sound like hard work and if you are ill it would have taken more effort to drag yourself out of bed to complain than just put up with the noise for 15 minutes.

Apolloanddaphne · 07/07/2019 10:59

Social services will not give a toss about this. I would be more concerned about the environment than the safety of the children. And I am a social worker.

PristineCondition · 07/07/2019 11:00

Honestly?
Stay away from the curtain twitching and leave them to it

katewhinesalot · 07/07/2019 11:02

Anyone could just drive away with them. You shouldn't leave young children unattended anywhere. I'm surprised at some of the replies so far.

Passthecherrycoke · 07/07/2019 11:02

I think you're being unreasonable - I mean how can you hear their car that much from
Inside your house? I also think you sort of lost the argument by mentioning social services but he does sound really arrogant and annoying

katewhinesalot · 07/07/2019 11:02

How old were they?

Geminijes · 07/07/2019 11:03

How noisy is his car if it annoys you when it's left running?

Seems such a trivial thing to get worked up over to the extent that you went to speak to him about it.

Op...don't sweat the small stuff.

Original poster

Lemonlady22 · 07/07/2019 11:06

His partner is a really nice woman, but i think she just goes along with him tbh. He has a professional occupation in public services so you would think he knows better. He did say that the windows were open (side facing road so i couldnt see) so i suppose that was the carbon monoxide point stated above

OP posts:

calmpuppycrazykids · 07/07/2019 11:09

I don't think you were unreasonable about him leaving the children for 15 minuets in the car but I think you were massively unreasonable about threatening him with social services.
I think they have got enough children who really need them rather than stupid calls about someone leaving their children in a car for 15 minuets outside their own house

Original poster

Lemonlady22 · 07/07/2019 11:10

They are 3 and 1. Its a diesel car and with my bedroom window open its about 20 feet away. It happens all the time but today it just made me really annoyed ( its really peaceful now though

OP posts:

Nautiloid · 07/07/2019 11:11

I think you were being unreasonable to be honest. It's not ideal but was there any need to wait outside and have a go like that? And are you planning on actually calling social services?
Unless there's a huge backstory here I would see you as the difficult neighbour in this scenario. Fully prepared to change my mind based on backstory, but I think whatever the situation this will just make relations worse.

Original poster

Lemonlady22 · 07/07/2019 11:13

i wouldnt phone SS and i realise i have prob wound him right up as before he drove away he was revving his engine loudly

OP posts:

CarolDanvers · 07/07/2019 11:13

Threats to call social services would have made me very angry and were completely over the top. I wouldn't be interested in anything you had to say after that. You should have waited till later and gone over for a chat about it.

Scabetty · 07/07/2019 11:16

He is a twat. Idling cars are bad for the environment and leaving his kids in the car watching a dvd is a bit dangerous for reasons already stated above.

katewhinesalot · 07/07/2019 11:18

Three and one unattended in a car with an engine running, and most of you are saying the op should butt out? What would happen if they unbuckle and release the hand brake? Pretend to drive the car like daddy does?
Really guys?

PawsForPizza · 07/07/2019 11:20

Imagine getting so wound up by the sound of a car running for 15 minutes that you leave your sick bed, go and have it out with your neighbour, threaten social services THEN come on to Mumsnet to post about it.

Wow

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 07/07/2019 11:25

His a twat but then threatening to call social services over this is a bit low tbh

Picklypickles · 07/07/2019 11:25

So you were slightly put out for 15 minutes and then waited around in your garden specifically to have a go at the guy and threaten him with social services?! You sound like an absolute nightmare tbh.

Shinyletsbebadguys · 07/07/2019 11:26

I don't agree at all with people leaving their DC in a car like that , I do think it's crap parenting , at most I once in a blue moon leave them to pay for petrol in a locked car when I can see them through the window at all times and frankly even then I don't consider it good parenting even from myself....it happens on a bad day very rarely.

However less than stellar parenting is not the same thing as abuse.

It's a nasty thing to do to threaten social services....do you understand the fear that goes through most parents heads when you do that? Even when they arent abusive ? I have actually had to refer clients to SS over actual abuse and take it bloody seriously.

You were over the top and owe him an apology for the drama. Although granted he could apologise for disturbing you but the two are not comparable.

Pinkyyy · 07/07/2019 11:26

You sound like a nightmare. It's a car engine not a jumbo jet, get over it. If you want silence, move to the country.

Pinkyyy · 07/07/2019 11:29

@katewhinesalot show me a 3 year old who can unfasten their car seat, climb out of it and into the driver's seat, successfully release the handbrake and then reach the pedals.

wishingforapositiveyear · 07/07/2019 11:31

Thank god your not my neighbour , you sound like a bloody pain in the ass it's not a 2am party.

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