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AIBU?

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Original poster

NDN is an idiot

108 replies

Lemonlady22 · 07/07/2019 10:52

Had problems with the NDN before but thats in the past, tend to ignore now except hellos. Im not well at the moment so maybe its made me a bit touchy, anyway wake up to the engine of his car running(not for the first time) five minutes later he puts children in car, leaves them in it and goes back indoors. ten minutes go by ive and had enough so i go outside and wait another five minutes, there front door is open, the car is in the street by the way, he comes out so i said 'im ill in bed listening to your car engine for the last 10 to fifteen minutes why do you do that all the time' he said a few things but the main thing is that 'the kids are in there watching a dvd' so i said 'you shouldnt be leaving children in a car alone with the engine running'... he got all shitty and said 'so youve never left your children in the car like that' i said 'no actually i havent because its illegal and anyone could get in your car and drive away'...he then just got in the car and ignored me (his wife was still indoors)...so i just said 'its ok i will ring social services then' and i went indoors...so am i being unreasonable, is this a new thing (we didnt have dvd player in our car when my kids were young ) is it ever ok to leave children in the car with engines running?

OP posts:
Juells · 07/07/2019 13:12

I've given up caring about the safety of other people's children, let them worry about it themselves. I hate car engines running outside my house though, with all the fumes coming through my window. A private bus driver started staying every Fri and Sat night with someone at the far end of the cul de sac, and parked his bus across the street from my house. He'd start the engine at six am, retreat back to where he was staying until 6.30, when he'd return and drive away. 😡 I couldn't have my bedroom window open because of the noise and fumes 😡 So my sympathies are all with OP.

Juells · 07/07/2019 13:13

You could have said the Police but deliberately went for SS instead? You're the lowest of the low.

Oh FFS

thedevondumpling · 07/07/2019 13:14

What can happen? Well I know someone who got home from shopping, left 3 year old in the car on the drive while she carried shopping, came out to see teenager driving. Child started to cry, well that was what the police decided, teenager abandoned car in the middle of a busy road with the door open and t hysterical 3 year old in the car. Man working in his garden was too scared to take child out of car, paedo alert, but called the police and stood by the car talking to child until they arrived.

So that could happen.

NoCauseRebel · 07/07/2019 13:27

Anyone could just drive away with them. You shouldn't leave young children unattended anywhere. I'm surprised at some of the replies so far. yeah, because that happens all the time.... honestly the hysteria some people come out with...

I hate car engines running like that but threatening with social services is beyond the pale. Incidentally I had a neighbour like you. She was a nasty piece of work who used to wait for me to come home to have a go about this and that and the other, all of which were trivial. She threatened me with the police, the RSPCA, various other organisations and pretended that the whole neighbourhood was against me when in fact she had fallen out with everyone in the neighbourhood and because I had just moved in I was fresh bate.

One day I came home to one of her screaming tirades. And after she’d finished screaming at me I merrily informed her that I’d recorded the conversation and would be going to the police to look into a harassment charge. She ran screaming into her house and never spoke to me again.

When they moved out a year later they left the house in such a state and had lied about so many things that the new owners took them to court, and won.

I wouldn’t personally have left those children in a car with the engine running but equally I wouldn’t assume such hysterical things as abduction. Also, it doesn’t matter what you do in life someone will disapprove. Social services would be overrun with unjustified reports if everyone reported a bit of parenting they disapproved of. But social services wouldn’t be interested in any case, and anyone who said that to me I’d just laugh at them. And assume they were a busy body with nothing better to do.

chuttypicks · 07/07/2019 13:40

YABU. You complained about a car engine running on a public road. Are you kidding? You're nuts. Also, it's none of your business if he leaves his children in the car for a few minutes, no doubt when either he or his wife could see them from the window of the house. If you threatened to report me to SS for that, I'd tell you to go right ahead. They'd laugh you off the phone. There are children in actual danger in their homes with various types of abuse and you want to complain that a guy left his kids in the car watching a dvd for a few minutes? Get a life.

NoSauce · 07/07/2019 13:40

It doesn’t happen all the time but it does happen and you’re being ignorant and complacent to think it doesn’t.

thedevondumpling · 07/07/2019 13:46

Of course it does happen. If you let your kids play with matches they won't always burn the house down but do you want to chance it?

Nanny0gg · 07/07/2019 14:06

You complained about a car engine running on a public road.

Post about that happening in winter when people are trying to defrost their cars and see what reaction you get.

Don't know why that's worse than doing it with children inside, but apparently it is!

BasilFaulty · 07/07/2019 15:35

'I'll just call social services then' 😂😂😂

LakieLady · 07/07/2019 15:55

It would piss me off for environmental reasons as it’s just unnecessary.

Absolutely. And I wouldn't want diesel fumes coming in my bedroom window, either.

Diesel engines are bloody noisy, too. My ND but 1 neighbour's pickup sounds like someone rattling a bag full of spanners.

CornishMaid1 · 07/07/2019 16:20

I still cannot believe people are defending a neighbour who has broken the law and just made such a careless decision.

For 10-15 minutes he has left a 1 year old baby and a 3 year old toddler alone in an unlocked car with the engine running on a public road!

dudsville · 07/07/2019 16:24

Neither of you come out well in your account.

accendo · 07/07/2019 16:24

There are some absolutely terrible parents on this thread.

PooWillyBumBum · 07/07/2019 16:27

He’s being an idiot re: environment and weird that he leaves kiddos in car but you’re being unnecessarily antagonistic and are only going to cause problems for yourself.

Better way to handle it would be to mention it another time over a friendly over the hedge conversation e.g. “I’ve noticed you leave your engine running for quite a while in the mornings. I’m sure you don’t realise but it’s actually quite noisy and can make it hard to sleep - id really appreciate it if you avoided it!” rather than marching out there and telling him off.

PooWillyBumBum · 07/07/2019 16:28

...although I doubt their is any going back now re: SS so good luck next time you want to negotiate about a fence or a tree Hmm

LauderSyme · 07/07/2019 16:35

His actions were irresponsible but you bringing SS into it was way out of line.

NoCauseRebel · 07/07/2019 17:05

Erm, I don’t think it’s actually illegal though is it? Unwise yes, but illegal? No. But that’s like those who say that leaving children under a certain age is illegal - it’s not.

SS really wouldn’t get involved though, and threatening to report the neighbour is more about spite than genuine concern for the children.

As for “these things do happen”, lots of things happen. But some are so vanishingly rare as to be virtually unheard of. As I said up-thread, I wouldn’t personally have done it but the hysteria about what could happen is going too far the other way. Your children could. Have an accident at home and yet wrapping children in cotton wool to protect them against what is far more likely to happen is not encouraged. So on this occasion leaving two small children in the car is not neglect on the same level as it could be considered to be by say, allowing the children in the kitchen, even with an adult present. Yet nobody shouts about that do they?

Passthecherrycoke · 07/07/2019 17:31

It’s not illegal to leave the children in the car. People are going on about the engine being on being illegal 🤣

timeforakinderworld · 07/07/2019 17:33

It's illegal to leave the engine running on a public road. On your property it's just bad!

Toodeloo · 07/07/2019 17:40

God, you are a right piece of work, aren’t you?! Let’s face it, the kids didn’t have anything to do with why you had to get out of bed. You were spoiling for a fight. A car engine during the day is hardly noise pollution. I’m not even getting into you trying to tell him how to parent his children. Thank fook I don’t live next to you.

user1471449295 · 07/07/2019 17:50

Both twats

Itssosunny · 07/07/2019 17:52

What if something happens to the adult and he/she won't be able to attend the children in the car?
How do you know there is enough air and it isn't too hot?
I understand that it's ok to leave a child in the car for 10-15min but not a dogConfused

I still remember an accident from a few years ago when a mother left her daughter in the car for a minute or so and the car slipped into the river because the brakes were not on.

isadoradancing123 · 07/07/2019 17:56

Mind your business, have you nothing else to worry about, if not then lucky you

Blueoasis · 07/07/2019 18:04

Kind of terrifying how many parents on here think it's fine to leave their children in a car with the car running, unlocked, in broad daylight. Very odd 'parenting'. Poor kids.

IvanaPee · 07/07/2019 18:07

You sound like a nightmare to me!

I’d tell you to fuck off and then leave the engine running for an hour tomorrow.

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