NDN is an idiot

[Lemonlady22]

Had problems with the NDN before but thats in the past, tend to ignore now except hellos. Im not well at the moment so maybe its made me a bit touchy, anyway wake up to the engine of his car running(not for the first time) five minutes later he puts children in car, leaves them in it and goes back indoors. ten minutes go by ive and had enough so i go outside and wait another five minutes, there front door is open, the car is in the street by the way, he comes out so i said 'im ill in bed listening to your car engine for the last 10 to fifteen minutes why do you do that all the time' he said a few things but the main thing is that 'the kids are in there watching a dvd' so i said 'you shouldnt be leaving children in a car alone with the engine running'... he got all shitty and said 'so youve never left your children in the car like that' i said 'no actually i havent because its illegal and anyone could get in your car and drive away'...he then just got in the car and ignored me (his wife was still indoors)...so i just said 'its ok i will ring social services then' and i went indoors...so am i being unreasonable, is this a new thing (we didnt have dvd player in our car when my kids were young ) is it ever ok to leave children in the car with engines running?

He’s a twat for leaving his car running. I thought it was illegal to do that or have I dreamt that?

Just me then, worried about the kids safety?

Sometime within the next couple of days I would try and see him and apologise. Explain that you were stressed and feeling ill and that the noise was annoying but that it is his car and you were wrong to criticise.

I don't think you are unreasonable to be upset by the noise but apologising as above makes it much less likely to happen again. Leaving things as they are can only make things worse.

Yanbu on both counts. Kids are too little to be left. Leaving an engine running is illegal and bloody annoying!

@katewhinesalot what do you think is going to happen to them?

Dangerous and unsafe. What happens if the children decide to play about or someone steals the car

So I'd be ok leaving them unattended in the house or leaving them in a pram outside a ship while I pop in? After all what could possibly happen?

The noise and environmental aspects are definitely a problem, and out of order. Nobody needs to leave their engine running wastefully in a residential area for that long. As for the rest, mind your own business. Social services indeed....

Close your window

Mind your own business

show me a 3 year old who can unfasten their car seat, climb out of it and into the driver's seat, successfully release the handbrake and then reach the pedals.

Well, one of our cars is an automatic - DS2 could escape his seat no problems before we got one of the bolster ones, and all it would take to get the car moving if the engine is running is to press the button on the gear lever and move it in any direction - not beyond the wit of a 3 year old at all! If the engine wasn't running, then they'd just have to press a button to start it (if I'd left the keys in the car)

I've left my kids in the car on the drive when we've got back from somewhere and they're still asleep, just as I have in the buggy outside the back door. I don't personally see too much of an issue with that if they're being kept an eye on. But leaving the car running, on the street, with them in it is a bit beyond even for me (and actually, my MIL was saying, an offence in her town, which has rules about idling now)

You need to mind your own business.

They’re on the drive. Next to the house where both parents were. Car stealing is pretty bloody unlikely especially with 2 children in the back

Fucking hell, talk about rude OP!

There are ways to speak to people and that's certainly not one of them.

I think he did well to just ignore you and get in his car.

Let’s be honest here, OP wasn’t concerned re ndn’s DCs in the car alone, or the environment issues- it was the noise situation. That’s what made her go outside to confront him, and the threat to report to SS was just to get back at Ndn due to annoyance at peace being disturbed.

I live in London and can’t imagine being bothered by the sound of a car engine. It would piss me off for environmental reasons as it’s just unnecessary.

It’s highly unlikely jay an opportunistic car their wold steal a car with 2 kids in it. It’s also highly unlikely that a child abductor would happen to be passing by.

I’m sure he knows that his 3 year old isn’t able to get out of their 3 point harness straps and drove the car.

Overall, I wouldn’t do this myself with the keys in the ignition and there’s just no need and it’s careless. But it wouldn’t bother me enough to get me out of bed and social services wouldn’t even cross my mind!

Yet a thread asking aibu leaving my child asleep in their cot for 5 minutes while I pop out, gets loads of no ways, yet leading them in a car with the engine running is ok on this thread. Bonkers. And as a pp said leaving them asleep in a locked car with no keys on the driveway isn't the same. An awake three year old is a different matter. They could release the handbrake, open the car doors. They are in more danger than being left unattended outside a shop as they can be driven off. I don't think I am over precious but I'm amazed that so many are thinking this is acceptable.

Running your engine unnecessarily while your vehicle is stationary:

• pollutes the environment
• costs you money, and
• is illegal.

An idling engine produces up to twice as many exhaust emissions as an engine in motion.
Exhaust emissions contain a range of air pollutants such as carbon monoxide, nitrogen dioxide, hydrocarbons and particulates.
62% of people with asthma report that traffic fumes worsen the effects of their asthma.
Every 10 minutes of vehicle idling costs at least one-tenth of a litre in wasted fuel.

Per my council's website.

YANBU and NDN is indeed an annoying idiot.

My car doesn't need the engine on to access the electrics. In any case who plonks their DC in an idling car for 10 minutes P&Q? He could have left them in their room with the DVD like normal people.

I wouldn't have threatened SS but I would have told him all of the above.

I’m afraid I see it as you being a busybody as well. Bugger off with your petty complaints, unsolicited parenting advice and (good God) your threat to call social bloody services.
Christ.

It does make me laugh when people keep saying it’s illegal. What do you think, a passing bobby on the beat is going to knock on the door and arrest him? 😭

You aren't being unreasonable. He shouldn't leave his children in the car unattended.

It is illegal in Scotland. Fixed penalty fine same as driving in a bus lane, parking offences etc.

Issue of the children aside, OP, you have my sympathies.

My NDN takes his wife to work once a week, rest of the time his car is parked right underneath my bedroom window (I live in a terrace of tiny cottages with equally tiny front gardens). Because he never uses the car any other time, at 5.30am, he goes out, turns on engine, leaves it running for 20 minutes, takes wife to work at 5.50am (gets wife to put out traffic cones to 'save his parking space' before she hops in), gets home ten minutes later (yes, just ten minutes!), leaves the damn thing running for another 15 minutes then turns it off. Oh, and the radio is always playing loudly in the car!

Drives me up the wall - if you'll pardon the pun!

Wonder if he leaves his children in the car at a supermarket carpark while he goes shopping. They can watch videos and he can quickly do the shopping.

@katewhinesalot your username is strangely appropriate on this thread.

Its not ideal leaving the car running with kids in, but I take it that it was at a reasonable hour if the kids are up and I imagine that he didn't plan to leave them for 15mins.
He sounds a bit thoughtless, but equally you sound like a pain in the arse, especially the comment about calling social services - surely the way to cause all out war with your neighbours.