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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

NDN is an idiot

108 replies

Lemonlady22 · 07/07/2019 10:52

Had problems with the NDN before but thats in the past, tend to ignore now except hellos. Im not well at the moment so maybe its made me a bit touchy, anyway wake up to the engine of his car running(not for the first time) five minutes later he puts children in car, leaves them in it and goes back indoors. ten minutes go by ive and had enough so i go outside and wait another five minutes, there front door is open, the car is in the street by the way, he comes out so i said 'im ill in bed listening to your car engine for the last 10 to fifteen minutes why do you do that all the time' he said a few things but the main thing is that 'the kids are in there watching a dvd' so i said 'you shouldnt be leaving children in a car alone with the engine running'... he got all shitty and said 'so youve never left your children in the car like that' i said 'no actually i havent because its illegal and anyone could get in your car and drive away'...he then just got in the car and ignored me (his wife was still indoors)...so i just said 'its ok i will ring social services then' and i went indoors...so am i being unreasonable, is this a new thing (we didnt have dvd player in our car when my kids were young ) is it ever ok to leave children in the car with engines running?

OP posts:
EleanorReally · 07/07/2019 11:58

you are as bad as each other by the sound of things.

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 07/07/2019 11:58

Yeah you lost your moral high ground when you started spouting off about imaginary laws (and threatening SS).

There is no law saying it's illegal to leave children in a car.

Itssosunny · 07/07/2019 11:59

fairydustandpixies, oh yes, typical entitled behaviour.

Nanny0gg · 07/07/2019 12:03

It's illegal to leave the engine running like that though...

Pinktinker · 07/07/2019 12:04

You sound like a bit of a nightmare neighbour if I’m being completely honest. The guy isn’t blaring music at all hours or drilling and hammering at 7am. I can’t really see how a car engine left running for ten minutes upsets you so much. Maybe you need better windows or insulation perhaps? The noise shouldn’t irk you quite so much.

Just buy earplugs if you really can’t stand it. I agree, he should not leave the engine running like that but you are making a huge fuss over something and nothing in the grand scheme of things.

Someonesayroadtrip · 07/07/2019 12:05

Wow, you were being massively unreasonable. It's a car running, that is normal everyday background noise, it's not like he had his music playing full volume or something.

I have 4 children and if we are going away or something we load up the car, then load up the kids and then double check the house, turn things off, double check doors etc. Because otherwise they undo what we are trying to do. So they maybe sit there for 10 minutes while we dash about doing last minute things. Granted we wouldn't have the engine running or them watching a film but to threaten social services shows a lot more about you than them.

If you were so ill in bed that the noise of a car running was annoying you I just don't understand how you had the energy to go downstairs and rant and threaten your neighbours. Surely the car running is much quieter than the kids playing outside?

Livelovebehappy · 07/07/2019 12:06

If you think about it, there are lots of instances in everyday life where you might judge other parents not always guarding DCs best interests, but mostly you’d just do some eyerolling and not actually approach parent. I was in a restaurant having a meal yesterday - parent on next table allowing her toddler to crawl around the floor where she could have been stood on or tripped over. At park last week where young child climbing unsupervised on one of those giant web frames meant for over 12’s. Parents not having safety gates on stairways. The list could go on. What I’m saying is, yes be annoyed at the noise if you must, but their parenting choices really is irrelevant, or we would be policing parental choices every single day.

katewhinesalot · 07/07/2019 12:08

Outreach Grin

Crinkle77 · 07/07/2019 12:08

I agree with OP. It is annoying having to listen to a car engine running for long periods of time especially if you are trying to sleep. I also find it odd that the kids are watching a DVD in the car. Sounds like he can't be added entertaining his kids and has shoved them in the car out the way.

JacquesHammer · 07/07/2019 12:11

Idling is a massive issue environmentally, NDN is a twat.

You handled it badly though OP.

BillieEilish · 07/07/2019 12:13

kate I came on to say the exact thing as you. Totally agree, 'Can I leave my 1 and 3 year old to nip 10 mins to the shop?' Resounding answer NO way

Yet in a car with engine running is fine?

OP YANBU plus, I remember another thread about this very same sort of thing, the answer was completely in favour of OP and it was illegal.

shinynewapple · 07/07/2019 12:14

I think you were both being unreasonable.
If a neighbours car was running outside my window with fumes going in I wouldn't be happy with that.
I don't think you were unreasonable to mention it to him as a polite request but a bit unreasonable to continue to go on at him.
He's being massively unreasonable though to leave his DC in the car for 10-15 mins if the car's running and he's not in there. We had our car stolen off our drive last winter when DH left it running to defrost so it does happen. Imagine if the car was taken with his DC inside.

ThisMustBeMyDream · 07/07/2019 12:20

Totally unreaaonable.
Btw, my car can have the engine runnung without the key in the car. The car won't drive away without the key in the car. Hope that helps some pearl clutches 🙄

FlyMayBe · 07/07/2019 12:25

YANBU, OP. Your neighbour is an inconsiderate twat.

BillieEilish · 07/07/2019 12:26

IT IS illegal to leave your engine idling for 15 minutes as many have attested to.

CornishMaid1 · 07/07/2019 12:28

Wow! YADNBU and I cannot believe so many think you are.

He had left a 1 and a 3 year old unattended for 10-15 minutes. That is not acceptable.

He had left them in a running car with no supervision.

He has left the engine running on an unattended car for about 15 minutes which is illegal.

He is breaking the law and endangering 2 children in the process.I would be telling him I would report him to SS and to the police for that, whether you actually do or not.

Passthecherrycoke · 07/07/2019 12:31

@BillieEilish but as I said before, who cares? You think he’s going to be arrested? I don’t understand the constant banging on about it being illegal

NoSauce · 07/07/2019 12:33

I also can’t believe how many posters think it’s ok for people to keep their engines running while stationary. Plain stupidity. Not to mention that someone passing by could quiet easily jump in the car with the kids in.

BillieEilish · 07/07/2019 12:35

People who care about the planet care Hmm

And yes, he would be given a fine, and no, he should not leave REALLY young children unattended in a bloody car with th engine running.

That it why there is 'constant banging on' about I being illegal. It is why we have laws Hmm hth and you can now grasp the concept passthecherry

Not to mention it is bloody antisocial.

LittleWalnutTree · 07/07/2019 12:37

If he does it again then call the police and tell them that there are a baby and a toddler left on their own in a car with the engine running.

RedSheep73 · 07/07/2019 12:37

That's not normal - don't they have a tv in the house?

Bob5 · 07/07/2019 12:48

@katewhinesalot - totally agree with you

Passthecherrycoke · 07/07/2019 12:50

But something being illegal is irrelevant if there is no consequence- and he won’t get a fixed penalty unless a bored cooper happens to be passing the house- unlikely don’t you think?

WorraLiberty · 07/07/2019 12:51

For goodness sake he didn't put them in the car just to watch a DVD Grin

The OP said (further down) that he drove away.

Ponoka7 · 07/07/2019 12:59

So you think it's ok to threaten him via his children?

You could have said the Police but deliberately went for SS instead? You're the lowest of the low.

I hate people who leave their cars running, because of environmental concerns and where i live it would be stolen.

But you don't bring people's kids into arguments.