You don't just chill with a young baby ?

[dontfollowmeimlosttoo]

Was asked by a relative
Person : what you up to tonight ? Just chilling?

Seriously do people think babies are easy . What am I gonna be doing other than feeding changing bathing , keeping baby alive and to bed. Baby is 3 months old.

Got me thinking are other people out there with young babies still having evenings and doing stuff , maybe Iv got it wrong 🤷‍♀️

When mine were little it was pure chills. Now I have to put a children’s film on to chill with them. It’s not as fun as getting to pick the tele 😕

Also found it a little strange to be asked what are you up to tonight ? I don't see how I would be up to anything other than looking after the baby
It's fine to not go out, but a lot of people do. We never stayed home just because we had a baby so I would probably ask the same question tbh.
When we weren't out, we chilled.

I'm loving all the competitive chilled baby tales

oh so helpful when your baby won't settle until late evening and then wakes up anything from 10 minutes to 4 hours later expecting to be fed!

Haha Eliza, if I could have just put any of mine in a Moses basket while I ate my dinner and watched tv then my evenings would have felt a lot easier. It’s quite a bit harder if you have to spend your entire evening pacing the floor with a screaming colicky baby. My number 4 is a very chilled baby overall but he doesn’t like to sleep much so the only way we get to watch anything on tv is for one of us to hold him (not that is any hardship really). The evenings where he sleeps on us (most of them now) I do feel like I relax, but when he’s awake all evening needing attention I don’t feel like I’ve had that downtime so I understand where the op is coming from

I used to do a lot of chilling in the evenings when DD was that age. She would be cluster feeding, so I was essentially forced to sit on the sofa and watch TV all evening. While DH provided dinner and snacks when I demanded them, because I couldn't move. DD would then fall asleep but would scream if put down so again I had a baby on top of me so I couldn't do much other than sit on the sofa and chill. She was much more settled during the day and I could achieve things then, but evenings were for chilling out with baby snuggles.

Sorry Eliza, a lot more people have posted similar to you since I started typing so I wasn’t singling you out.

I think this must depend on your baby. After a few weeks of total chaos I decided to try for aGinaFord routine baby and it was amazing. We got our evenings back from 7 pm and traveled a fair bit on her first year. We celebrated our first anniversary with a long weekend to Bergamot when she was 3 months old. We managed not to miss church on a Sunday and I would just put her in a sling and walk there and she'd be asleep by the time we got there and wake for a feed near the end. I had more trouble chilling when I had the next 2 as they were close together and never all asleep at same time!!

It depends entirely on the baby. I have four DC and two of them were very easy going babies so I definitely could chill out a lot. The other two not so much...

*oh so helpful when your baby won't settle until late evening and then wakes up anything from 10 minutes to 4 hours later expecting to be fed!

Yh tbf i imagine in this situation it would make doing "normal" stuff harder. When you know your baby is guaranteed (or pretty much) to be down all night it makes it easier.

Thats not me being smug, at nearly 16mo my DD is a walking talking tornado, i consider the house not being on fire by bed time, a smooth night

found it a little strange to be asked what are you up to tonight?

Strange? Babies are completely portable, and that's pretty much the only time you can go out fairly easily until they are teenagers. You might prefer to stay home, not everyone does.
No need to try to make them sleep for an hour if they are not ready until 9pm, I don't understand this british obsession to have kids in bed by 6pm.

You are massively BU for taking a random and innocent comment the wrong way.

oh so helpful when your baby won't settle until late evening and then wakes up anything from 10 minutes to 4 hours later expecting to be fed!

Was meant to be bolded 🤦‍♀️

GinaFord routine baby
you are very brave, Gina Ford is hated by so many posters on MN. Shame, her advice are brilliant and so helpful.

DD was such an easy baby, I would often 'just chill' through the day. Not so much at night(until she was maybe 3 months, so past it) given she had colic issues and would wail from 7pm til 10 every night, but through the day. She pretty much only ever woke up for a bottle and change, then either went back to sleep or happily stared at her hands, or sat staring at me. So yeah, chilling with her was easy. Both through the day and on a night by the 4 month stage.

DS on the other hand, wanted constant attention, and still does at aged 4! Mind, still on nights, despite waking up for a few feeds, he would generally sleep 3 hours between them, so in those hours, yeah I could also chill I guess.

So no, I would not take offense at being asked if I was just chilling with a young baby. As its possible to do so, depending on the child.

At that age we did go out in the evenings and weekends. We’d got the bottle preparation sorted and although there wasn’t much of a routine we knew what should happen and when. We took it in turns to go to the gym or see friends and did walks to the park and brunch out at the weekends. Nothing widely exciting and sometimes things got cancelled but it worked out ok.

I tots Share you pain. I'm a full time mummy of three and another on way. Strangers and a few friends without kids or mums who go out to work and my own hubby think I do nothing all day. Riiighhhttt .... so apparently the fairys clean me house, cook the meals and bring up my kids. Then, The government class me as jobless and pester me to go back to work and send me on pointless shit courses. WTF. I'm raising three kids, that is my job!!!!!!!. If I went out to work I would cost the government way more money in lots of ways and I'd be paying for a stranger to look after my kids. It's illogical tbh. It's sick making the comments us mums get isn't it?

I think she just meant " are you just going to hang out with the baby". Like we all do - just doing nothing much, hanging out with the baby in a basket next to us. I used to love that time - they'd be asleep in the basket and I'd be watching TV . Good times.

Re restaurants I just take mine in the pram - just need to get a table with space to park it. If he fusses we play pass the baby.
Been once with a sling too.
Although I nearly always go out to restaurants during the day- only been out evening a couple of times - usually around to someone's house. Occasionally get to chill in evening if he naps, but is random if he does! He is 3 and a half months.

I get where you’re coming from. Dd had bad colic so evenings definitely weren’t ‘Chilled’ they were hell..! Then we had a calmer time, but she still bf to sleep on my lap in front of the tv and dh would bring dinner etc..I couldn’t move but it wasn’t hard 🤣
Now at 11 months, it’s all gone manic and she can take up to 2 hrs to get to sleep and wakes if we put her in the cot, so she’s still on me, so we get no proper chill time together 🤷‍♀️Not been out yet either as she’d be hard for someone else to get to sleep-shes an easy baby..just not with sleep 😴
I’m very jealous of posters on here 😆
I have a friend with a 3 month old who’s dressed up, looks great and is out every weekend..and I think ‘How?!’ 😂 I mustn’t be very good at this 🙈

I also did make plans to go out also when DD was young. She seemed to love spending time with granddad, so I would let him have her for the night sometimes. I did feel quite anxious when doing so the first few times though. But got over it.

Could not do this with DS as he was breastfed to start with, then very clingy with me and seemed to not settle for anyone else (including DH) though.

I would have answered with whatever Netflix show I was currently watching!

Plans with a baby are different to plans before baby but you can still have things you like and want to do that aren't purely about baby

sexyfurrytigre You're really projecting there, the OPs situation is nothing like you're describing.

I paused as didn't know what to say as I honestly don't make evening plans now I have a baby
So you were just chilling then?

I think it totally depends on the baby. With two of my four DC chilling watching TV or having a glass of wine and a chat to friends was absolutely possible. The other two not so much

I still remember the irrational fury I felt when someone asked me how my ‘time off’ was and if I was having lots of coffee and cake on maternity leave with DD1, I barely managed to brush my teeth!

OP I get you. When DD was tiny I had very little 'chill' time as she was always waking/feeding/crying. She would only sleep on me, hated her moses basket etc. The toddler stage is much more chill by comparison.

Every baby's different and just cos some people can go out or watch films while their baby sleeps 12 hrs doesn't mean you're doing it wrong

Perhaps they thought you might say you were going to watch a film and get a takeaway?

Or if it's a warm evening, you might've said you were going to sit in the garden with a glass of wine and a book?

There are a few 'chill' type things you can do without leaving the house, if the baby lets you of course.