AIBU about positing child's school report on Facebook?

[Glitterlikeawinner]

Just that really! A mum from DS class has posted pictures of the full report on Facebook, bragging about child's amazing abilities and essentially how she is such a good parent to have a child exceeding expectations for her age. I get it, shes proud but not half a kick in the teeth for all the other parents in the class who's children have struggled for one reason or another, but still so proud of their children, rightly so.

OnGoldenPond
Congratulations for your DC!

Sharing that achievement won't have appeared smug.

Everyone in real life can tell the difference between a parent being proud of something vs someone who is smug and boastful.

It's their Facebook. They can post what they like. You can unfriend if you don't like it, or you can unfollow their posts without unfriending them, if you think unfriending them would be a problem.

I don't think people should be barred from expressing pride over their kids' achievements because some other people are over-sensitive about their own kids not finding things quite so easy. It's not rubbing your nose in it because - shock horror - it's actually not about you, or your kids, or anyone else's.

I have a Facebook friend who is extremely wealthy and has a huge house in a beautiful setting with a swimming pool and doesn't have to work. She regularly posts pictures of her gorgeous garden, the lovely view and her new kitchen etc. I have another who also doesn't have to work and is currently doing a Masters degree for fun in a subject I'm absolutely desperate to study. She regularly posts about how much fun that is and all the lovely things she gets to do during the day. Yes, sometimes I feel envious - but clearly, that is very much MY problem, not theirs. They have every right to enjoy their lives and to talk about them. They're not doing anything wrong and it's not their fault that I might envy them a bit.

OnGoldenPond that is huge news, and completely different to posting comments on a primary school report that every child gets!

Congratulations to your DD.

Thanks for the reassurance Amby and Lola

I was just busting to share it and most of my FB friends are close friends in RL and know all about her struggles over the years. Most seemed really pleased for her.

Didn't want to be like the mother of one of DD's primary friends who felt it appropriate to put a photo of her DD's grammar school offer letter and to spout on about the challenges of parenting such a profoundly gifted child . I just had to delete her.

This is why I hate Facebook. I’m not interested in kids reports or how wonderful they are at everything. No one else cares. And they’ll grow up and do a million things that annoy you - will people post the bad stuff too? Of course not .

@OnGoldenPond your FB post would have been welcomed! It's a special achivement and should be celebrated! I like these kind of posts because they are just that, a special achievement, it's just made me wince at a school report for all to read

Brilliant that this parent is brimming with pride and wants everyone to know about her child’s achievements..... let’s not put a downer on it - there’s enough negativity in the world. Let’s all celebrate our children’s successes and not diminish the effort they have put in

Is it any wonder that kids feel so much stress and pressure when parents act like asses? Be proud, sure, but don't embarrass the child

I have somebody on my friends list who does this complete with hashtags like #yougetoutwhatyouputin #littlegenius. Crass in the extreme.

Eh, people tend to post the highlights of their lives on social media. I wouldn't sweat it if it's an occasional brag. Maybe the parent had a frenemy they wanted seeing the post.

I do think we as parents need to be careful about what we post regarding our kids so as mine grow I err on the side of not saying anything at all and just celebrating with ice cream.

I did this with my PFB first nursery report card. She wasn't even a year and it didn't say much.

Looking back it is beyond cringeworthy and the only person that was remotely interested was my mum 😂

What's the betting that the school will find out and ask everyone not to do this
I know it's their FB etc but it doesn't feel right
That poor child

Let’s hope her child doesn’t become a serial killer - the media would have a field day with a report like that online

A bit extreme perhaps, but it does seem like a violation of the child’s privacy. What if he is bullied when older and someone finds this?

Thing is, most parents have enough emotional intelligence to realise that all 6 year olds reports are positive, and the same useful phrases are used many times over.

You’d have to be really dim to post it on social media.

But no, I don’t think it’s rubbing anyone’s nose in it. Especially when Harry’s report says the same as Jack’s. And Ben’s. And Daisy’s.

YANBU. Fine to say you’re proud of your DC without posting photos of the whole thing. It’s private, should be kept between a teacher and parents imo.

One of the reasons I’m not on face book! Even the most anodyne post can be taken the wrong way, and from what I see from other accounts, people do use it to portray the veneer they want not the reality.

You’ll never change people OP. There are just more ways to brag now, I’d take myself off as many social media platforms as yOu can or significantly limit your friendships so that you don’t see this stuff. I am blissfully unaware of other parents bragging and I love it! This sort of thing s would drive me wild - a child’s report is personal, to them, and not for parents to publish to the world in order to boost their own ego.

@bingbongnoise OMG I read 'perf hubster' as 'perv hubster' !!!!

Perf hubster 🤮🤮🤮

Hubster
Fam
Holibobs

Fuckers who use these words always carpet bomb FB with their shite.

School reports online are shite. I am still FB friends with a woman who posted her daughter's grammar school ranking online. I have unfollowed but stayed friends with her because I need to remind myself how annoying she is from time to time in case I forget myself and agree to go for drinks in a group with her. Arrogant and obnoxious doesn't begin to cover it. With virtue signalling as well:

I doubt that all 6 year olds' reports are equally positive, particularly if they include attainment data. I suspect that they all include quite a lot of positive comments, but there is plenty to read between the lines too.

A proud parent would post something a long the lines of "So proud of DS his report shows how hard he has been working this year" - not page after page of essentially the same thing. I always think parents who do this are living vicariously through their children's achievements.

I think a report is a confidential document between parent and pupil/their family and only of concern to the author and intended recipients The report is there to feed back to the parents the things their child has shown strength in and things that they show weaknesses in to enable the parents to support and praise the child's strengths and to give focus on things where additional work/support might be required. If the report doesn't show both strengths and weakness I would suggest that the child is not being pushed enough I think its a major breach of a child's privacy - what happens in 10-15 years time of a university/employer get hold of the report? Or if the child is older and it gets back to their classmates who use it against the child either subconsciously or overtly? I wonder how well received it would be if someone posted the parents annual work appraisal on the internet - I'm betting the parent would not be best pleased - and it would probably be a disciplinary matter.

I always like someone posting ,"ooh it says exactly the same in Jimmy's report and it said the same in his older brother's report"

Whilst I wouldn't do it myself why would she be bothered about other parents of kids in the class??

School reports are extremely sugar coated. (if a child died, you would not want the last written thing to be about how awful they were). Sometimes can be amusing seeing people post these 'amazing'reports as I can understand the phrases for sugar coating that 'your child is a handful/annoying/know it all etc.

The parent is being unreasonable.

I hate this kind of thing, mostly because I think that it's the child's report and until she's old enough to decide for herself, her privacy should be protected.

@Bogglesgoggles its funny you say that as I have exactly the same experience. I think I once read something that the most intelligent are often the slowest to read and write as their brains are thinking of bigger things and the way phonics is taught with the many variations and exceptions actually makes little sense to those able to think it through. The ones who pick it up quickly are the least questioning in that they just accept what they at told. - I always think comprehension and understanding of science is a much better indicator of intelligence at a young age.

The early readers and writers I went to school with all ended up fairly mediocre, the ones who struggled in the first couple of years with the three Rs turned out to be the ones who excelled academically at A level and beyond esp in the arts where natural intelligence and ability rather than rule following counted.

@DarkDarkNight

I'm guessing they don't go on days out either or play at home. They're probably #makingmemories