AIBU about positing child's school report on Facebook?

[Glitterlikeawinner]

Just that really! A mum from DS class has posted pictures of the full report on Facebook, bragging about child's amazing abilities and essentially how she is such a good parent to have a child exceeding expectations for her age. I get it, shes proud but not half a kick in the teeth for all the other parents in the class who's children have struggled for one reason or another, but still so proud of their children, rightly so.

@LadyRannaldini That's so brutal but so brilliant!

I'm pretty sure that the teacher would be VERY unhappy about that. Are schools going to now have policies and rules to prevent this sort of thing? It's ridiculous

It seems to follow that the more you post on FB about how great your life is, the worse your quality of life is in reality.

I know someone who is always posting amazing things her wonderful boys have done. It looks idyllic and all her friends post "He's amazing Hun!" type responses. However, her lovely boys are well known bullies who have trashed her house to the point she doesn't try to mend things any more. She can't discipline them because she used to placate them to avoid tantrums when they were little and she's never regained any control.

They're rude and unpleasant, no childcare will take them, she's a classic CF and half our village cross the road to avoid her.

If you only went by her Facebook, you'd think she lived in paradise.

YANBU. People crowing on FB about their precious kiddywinks 'achievements' really grinds my gears. One woman I know has a son who seems to have a 'best student of the week' award every 3 or 4 weeks. Bizarre.

I have had to unfollow about a dozen FB friends who are guilty of this. Ditto people blathering on about their grandkids, with shit like 'there is no love like the love between a grandma and a grandchild.' And 5-10 pics of the grandkids are posted 3 to 4 times a week.

BOOOOOOOOOORING!

I wish I knew mums on Facebook that would do this, as I'd love to see how much is copy and paste. I have had a paragraph about my daughter, followed by a paragraph with her friends name on it before, so I would be so interested in seeing other kids reports!!
Also a sentence about my other daughter, bringing things in for topics, which she hadn't done, so that was obviously on somebody else's report too!

I don't even get why people post that they've had a good school report. Because NOONE. ELSE. CARES.

And all the B.S. that it's to share with the family they don't get to see.... Share it in a private message if you must. But they probably don't care that much anyway!

YANBU - I don’t know why people find the need to share these things on FB, yes I know we are all proud of our children but the whole of FB just doesn’t need to see it.

The only people I share my children’s school report with and their achievements with, are my mum and their dad.

I don't even get why people post that they've had a good school report. Because NOONE. ELSE. CARES.

And all the B.S. that it's to share with the family they don't get to see.... Share it in a private message if you must. But they probably don't care that much anyway!

Exactly! it’s just embarrassing.

I hate smug posts like hat and would never do it myself. Though I don't think the 'feel bad for oher ids' thing is reasonable, some kids will always be better than other kids at some stuff. I think kids need to learn that others may be better than them at stuff and thats ok tbh. I don't really get this pretending everyone is utterly equal by hiding others achievements thing that seems popular at the moment, things like giving evreyone a medal for a race, as its 'unfair' to less sporty kids that they did not win, etc. Seems daft and pandering.

So YABU for reasoning I think. But YANBU for disliking smug type facebook posts.

I haven't posted a report ever. I have done the smug posting of certificates because DS1 has always really struggled at school, and several people either made really unkind remarks or smiled sympathetically. He's actually really bright, but not academic, so I post stuff that serves as a corrective to how he's been perceived. I do feel a bit conflicted though . . .

It seems to follow that the more you post on FB about how great your life is, the worse your quality of life is in reality.

I also agree with this.

Basically, happy people do not need to post endless statuses and selfies of them being happy. Those who do so, are unlikely to actually be happy, but are pretending to be something they are not. A few on my list constantly update with how great their husbands are for example, yet I know that they are abusive shits and the women are often in tears over their treatment. I would obviously never say anything on the status and 'out' them, but..it seems a common thing. Not just with abuse but 'my life is great!' posts in general.

Sheesh. I never even showed my DCs reports to family, never mind my 10536 closest friends.....
I'd love it if someone else posted an identical one, from the same class.
After all, it must be massively difficult for the teachers to say 'doing ok, on track' in 30 different sets of words.

Stop comparing your children to other people's children

Quite often I am genuinely pleased to see proud posts about children though, especially if I know the family has had a hard time. And actually I even quite enjoy ranting about the smug families as well. Maybe I'm just too invested in FB . . .

Even brief comments 'So proud of DC's amazing report!' make me cringe.

From my experience, unless there are serious issues, most teachers seem to give children universally amazing reports these days, both state and private. Perhaps these parents don't realise that!

@Glitterlikeawinner

Yeah meant to say, posting 'super proud of DS school report......' fine, I think it's posting a picture of the actual report and words that's got me a bit.

LOL, as a pp said upthread, wouldn't it be funny if all the 'amazing words' about her precious boy had been written about every child???

I remember some particularly nice, flattering words being written about DD some 10 years back when she was at school. 'Lily is a lovely friendly child who interacts very well with teachers, and other students. She is resourceful, hard-working, quiet when it's required, chatty when it's required, and always does well in tests.'

She compared her report with 7 or 8 classmates at lunchtime, and every one of them had exactly the same paragraph/same wording.

Very sloppy!

It seems to follow that the more you post on FB about how great your life is, the worse your quality of life is in reality.

OMG this! ^ I have lost count of the amount of times I have seen a woman majorly gushing about her 'perf hubster' with loads of cheesy messages on FB about him, then 12 months later they've spilt up.

Also, I have known quite a few women who moan constantly about their abusive, gambling, womanising cocklodger of a DH, and are in tears about how shit he is, and how she is always struggling on her own; yet on FB, she is constantly posting messages about how amazing her marriage, and her life is! WTF?

She’s a complete twat for posting it on Facebook but you’re stupid for even reacting to it.

It’s a bit cringeworthy but it’s ok to be proud. I often post about my dd’s especially dd1 because she works so hard despite being bullied every day by little shits. Facebook is a place for people to brag wether it’s about their kids, their husband or their pets. I think if a child does well then there’s nothing wrong in sharing how proud you are, wether it’s doing great academically or scoring a goal at a football match.

Each to their own, YABU, if you don’t like it, removed her, she’s better off not having an”friend” like you.

I have 2 high achieving sons, I couldn’t care less if their peers are doing better or as not as high achieving as them.

“The kick in the teeth” is so you can only post if your children are just scraping by

I can’t stand showboating like this. It’s crass. So I ignore (and scoff) at “friends’” posts like this. That’s it really. Don’t care. All parents know it’s impossible to compare your children. Maybe she was sharing it with her family?

Thing is with posting the whole report you may be able to see what the teacher actually meant rather what the parent thinks they meant.

Speaking of the children, they have both continued to amaze us. We have to admit to being slightly disappointed at Zephaniah’s last parents’ evening that the staff didn’t stand up to applaud when we arrived. If you had seen his last report, you would understand why we felt this was appropriate. Anyway his teacher (who doesn’t always seem to get his brilliance) managed to say that she’d never taught a child like him and that he brought something unique to the classroom.
I did a joke Christmas letter with the above paragraph in. Most of that has come from a couple of deluded parents on fb.

It's a bit cringey but hardly a kick in the teeth.

If your child didn't get a good report I'd be thinking about that more and working out how to make it better. That is not meant to be as bitchy as it reads op.

I'd only really judge based on how she acts if other people post stuff like this. If she's one of the first going "Yay! " for other people then fair enough imo.
You just never know what's going on in other people's lives and why celebrating a good thing is so important to them.

She's super crass to post it
That's v cringe

But it's not about you. Her kid being good doesn't mean yours isn't. If you're comparing your child or their report that's your problem.

It is a massive breach of the child's privacy. The child has the right to his or her school report being private because at the end of the day it is their report - noone elses- certainly not their mother's.