AIBU about positing child's school report on Facebook?

[Glitterlikeawinner]

Just that really! A mum from DS class has posted pictures of the full report on Facebook, bragging about child's amazing abilities and essentially how she is such a good parent to have a child exceeding expectations for her age. I get it, shes proud but not half a kick in the teeth for all the other parents in the class who's children have struggled for one reason or another, but still so proud of their children, rightly so.

As much as no parent has the right imo to start publishing personal school reports, it does annoy me that parents are supposed to think about how other parents feel about these things.

If other parents feel 'kicked in the teeth' that's a shame but it's something they'll have to learn to live with and that goes for everything.

Someone posts pics of their holiday? = Kick in the teeth for those who can't afford one.

Someone posts pics of them after passing their driving test? = Kick in the teeth for someone whose just failed theirs.

Someone updates their status to say they've just got a new job? = Kick in the teeth to someone whose just failed an interview.

The list is absolutely endless, therefore the onus is on people to deal with it or come off of social media I'm afraid.

Agree with @WorraLiberty (at 16.19.)

Your assuming it’s been done without the child’s permission Girlsflies.

It could be absolutely the child’s wishes for their report to go on FB.

The generalisation on this thread is somewhat

Agree with Worra

I think it's ok to say how proud you are of your child's report on SM if that's the way you are inclined (I'm not) but I agree that it's off to post the actual report.

Apart from anything else, it's not YOUR report, it's your CHILD's, so you're kind of infringing on their personal stuff. Yes it's for your eyes, but it's about your child. I wouldn't do it.

And I wouldn't do it anyway because I don't think it's very fair to boast about how well your child is doing, especially if you have friends who you know will see it, whose children aren't doing so well for whatever reasons.

Hopefully, the other 29 parents don't reply with photos of their children's reports, where it can be seen that they also say essentially the same thing.

Reports often have certain phrases that are allowed and ones that aren't - and whilst working towards x level might be replaced with exceeding x level, etc, the general comments could well be applicable to almost the entire class/year/school.

but not half a kick in the teeth for all the other parents in the class who's children have struggled for one reason or another,

How much do I hate that competitive parenting.

She's happy, she's proud of her child, good for her. Maybe her kid really is amazing, maybe he's perfectly average child but she feels very proud anyway. Maybe she is naive, but at least the child is loved.

Some people also have genuine friends and family who happen to be interested by the results.

If you are not, scroll down and don't become friend on social media with people you dislike, you will fee a lot lighter.

Kick in the teeth probably the wrong term of phrase. I guess reading my DC report I was so proud, you then read someone else's and naturally you compare and think, why didn't the teacher say that about my child....maybe I'm BU to think that way and fully anticipate you all to say so!

I guess what I was getting at was that the details should be kept private? Ok so you go on holiday, great, but you dont tend to brag and say you spent £10,000 on said holiday because that would braggy and unnecessary .

Fine, post to say you're proud of your child for whatever achievements, I just dont think everyone on FB needs to see the details of school report.....

One of the mums in DS class did this. It was interesting to see that the teacher had put that her DD was “a credit to the x family”.
DS’s said he was “a credit to the horses family”. I wonder how many times that was used

Just to add the child is 6

Mind you, I generally thought to myself upon receipt of the reports 'Who is this Angel Child and what happens to her 3 seconds prior to the version I get stumbles out of the classroom door?'.

It's somewhat different to my school reports, where they said what I did well and what I didn't.

Public crowing is always a slightly dangerous thing to do, as things can change. One of my friends used to post her son's reports with comments like "DS - practically perfect in every way" - she's gone very quiet recently! It can be a lot of pressure on the kids.

The deal in our family is that the child and the parents get to read the report. Even the siblings don't read each other's reports. It's such a breach of privacy to post it online.

I also feel it's not fair on the teachers to put the comments out there in the public realm. I would hope they do use cut and paste tbh - they have 30 to write every year and loads of children will be hardworking and polite with a small/large (delete as appropriate) group of friends.

I don't mind the odd parental post about Annabelle's merit in Grade 2 triangle, though repeat offenders get very very dull over time.

Just to add the child is 6

even more reasons to be proud. It's still innocent at that age.
"everyone on FB" means only your close one for most of us - and people are allowed to ignore the post, that's the whole point of FB.

naturally you compare and think, why didn't the teacher say that about my child.... that's what your problem is, not the respect of the child's privacy.

OP, to be honest, in this country ALL the kids have glowing reports at that age, it's neither politically correct nor fashionable to put anything negative. Most parents know that, so it's pretty safe to be proud of your kids , same way you would be proud for running a race, even if they don't win it. I think it's cute when parents are all excited about good news

No one could ever blame someone for feeling pleased and proud of their children when they achieve well.

But no one likes a boaster.

Public crowing is always a slightly dangerous thing to do, as things can change

I know someone who did this, even referencing my child. She really came a cropper very publicly.

Her poor child.

I haven't got DDs report yet but I may post a photo of part of it, I won't do the whole report but might post the bit of general comments where it says about behaviour, attitude etc and the bit where DD writes her own comments.

It has been a very difficult couple of years, DD changed school in September and her new school have gone way above and beyond to get DD back to the beautiful, happy child she was before the old school and their catalogue of monumental fuck ups. I think having helped me out when DD was at her suicidal, school refusing worst most of my facebook friends would like to see how far she has come.

But no one likes a boaster.

but what will be a simple post for some people will be called boasting by others. It has not much to do with your post, but more with who is reading it!

I tell/ told my kids I was proud of them, I don't need fb to tell them.
Nobody else gives a fuck about how proud I am, why should they.

Having twins I realised pretty early on that teachers use the same stock phrases on the reports. Don't primary school teachers always say nice stuff on reports?
My DCs would hate it and I feel it's too much pressure, what happens when they move to secondary and it's not all sunshine and roses?

Strangest thing I ever saw was 'so proud that X got into ' with loads of 'she deserves it' 'she's so great' comments. Yeah, well done X, your parents bought a house in the catchment area.

My American cousin does this.
I think it’s v strange.

I have absolutely no idea why anyone would post photos of a school report on Facebook.

I am incredibly proud of my kids - the fact that I don't post this kind of thing on FB does not mean that I am not, it just seems that a parent being proud of them isn't good enough for some people. They want all the likes and comments from other people. I really don't get that at all.

Meh, it's like parents posting the "diploma" they get when they "graduate" from preschool, saying how proud they are.
Of course it means absolutely nothing, that's hardly the point Family and some friends like to seeing the pics, who really care that it's not a real diploma? It's obvious enough that there's no need to mention it.

but what will be a simple post for some people will be called boasting by others. It has not much to do with your post, but more with who is reading it!

Exactly. It will. Because most parents know that children's developmental progress will vary wildly as they through the education system. Ergo, even if they're top of the class in every respect at age 6, they may well not sustain that 'position' if other children who are perhaps later developers overtake them as they also progress. Likewise, some who are brilliant in maths will later develop their strengths in reading and writing, or vice versa.

Judging by playground talk I've heard, most parents likely think of their own child as bright, gifted and talented. This won't be the case as many times as parents profess it to be. The law of averages exists for a reason. I feel sympathy for any DCs whose parents place an inflated level of expectation on them, or are disappointed because their Y5 report fails to live up to the promise shown at the Reception stage.

Then again, this daft competitive parenting thing is something I never could compute.

Posting the report is a bit... eye-rolley but someone's kid doing well isn't anything to do with how your child has done. If someone is super proud of their kids glowing report then bloody good for them. Well done to that child.

Bit boastful, but she can post it if she wants.