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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about positing child's school report on Facebook?

153 replies

Glitterlikeawinner · 06/07/2019 14:56

Just that really! A mum from DS class has posted pictures of the full report on Facebook, bragging about child's amazing abilities and essentially how she is such a good parent to have a child exceeding expectations for her age. I get it, shes proud but not half a kick in the teeth for all the other parents in the class who's children have struggled for one reason or another, but still so proud of their children, rightly so.

OP posts:
Haffiana · 06/07/2019 17:24

Meh. Comparison is the thief of joy.

No-one can kick you in the teeth unless you open your mouth to let them.

SmileEachDay · 06/07/2019 17:25

Given that AREs are largely made of moonshine and nonsense and differ wildly across schools, I don’t know how reliable a measure they are anyway...

Grammar · 06/07/2019 17:28

I don't get this, I'm not on social media apart from this site.
Is Fb different, I mean, would you post child's school report on mumsnet?
Private pride, shared with loved ones, should be enough, either I'm getting it wrong, or it isn't, which is a devastating indictment of our society today. FGS

Kanga83 · 06/07/2019 17:30

It's for stuff like that this that FB should have an eye roll option that when pressed on fires out a 'buullllllshhhhiiiittttttttt' a bit like the 'congratulations' but in reverse. The 'humble braggers' do my head in.

BenWillbondsPants · 06/07/2019 17:30

Private pride, shared with loved ones, should be enough, either I'm getting it wrong, or it isn't, which is a devastating indictment of our society today. FGS

I absolutely agree. That really doesn't seem to be enough for some people.

Benjispruce · 06/07/2019 17:30

Nobody else is interested apart from immediate family so she is being a show-off imo.

Benjispruce · 06/07/2019 17:32

It needs to go into Room 101 along with:
You alright hun?
Checking in to hospital but don't want to talk about it
Checking in anywhere-nobody is interested
Facebook in general

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 06/07/2019 17:33

Perhaps schools will stop giving written reports of how a child is doing? Perhaps they should? I find it cringey because as a parent it's a bit much to be preening and crowing over your child's achievements as if they're yours. They're not. They just aren't and basking in reflected glory is irksome for most.

The more that parents post reports, the fewer brakes they engage, then the more likely it is that parents' evening will be given verbally rather than in writing, that might stop them. It must be really annoying if you're a teacher.

JacquesHammer · 06/07/2019 17:33

Checking in anywhere-nobody is interested

I don’t quite agree on this one. Well, I accept that people might not be interested, I might check in if I’m in a small independent cafe for example - free publicity Smile (I also review etc).

Benjispruce · 06/07/2019 17:34

Will these parents start filming parents evenings next? Really not fair on teachers as those comments are private and confidential. It could cause real problems if other parents in that class read and compare.

BurnedToast · 06/07/2019 17:34

I find it cringe-worthy. My child has SEN and is never going to her an 'amazing' report but I don't consider it a kick in the teeth if their child does. I just feel embarrassed for the 'proud mama' types for feeling the need to crow and show off about a school report.

Benjispruce · 06/07/2019 17:36

Let your success be your noise!

MsTSwift · 06/07/2019 17:36

Cringe. That’s what family what’s app groups are for granny is the only other adult vaguely interested

that25cUKHeatwaveof2019 · 06/07/2019 17:37

Perhaps schools will stop giving written reports of how a child is doing? Perhaps they should?

when they are 6 years old, they mean nothing anyway, they are always extra positive.
They should accurately describe the child and their achievements and where they should maybe try harder, but they don't.
Written reports are great, but they should be truthful, even in Primary.

Boom25 · 06/07/2019 17:38

UTTER CRINGE! and also a massive invasion of the child's privacy. They will ot be happy when they discover this as teenagers

Benjispruce · 06/07/2019 17:38

Ours are that25

Biscuitsneeded · 06/07/2019 17:40

I don't think the parent posting their child's report intends it as a kick in the teeth for parents of less academically successful. However, it still makes me want to vomit. My children would kill me if I did that.

Weirdpenguin · 06/07/2019 17:43

I am glad to hear the child is only 6. If she continues to be so cavalier about his privacy when he is older it won't be great for their relationship. It's the child's report not hers.

Bluerussian · 06/07/2019 17:44

School reports, good or bad, should not be made public. It is an invasion of a child's privacy. Suffice to say, if necessary, xxx report was very good or xxx report was not particularly good.

I don't get that it's a 'kick in the teeth' to parents whose child hasn't had such a good result, to post a good report. Kids are not in competition and parents need to learn not to be jealous. However I think posting any report for the world to see is not on.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 06/07/2019 17:44

It honestly make me think that the parent has achieved very little themselves so need the 'prop' of their child's achievements to feel good. I think that's sad.

It's one thing to be proud and post that, it's quite another to put up somebody else's report for 'likes' and 'huns'. It is, as PP said, a sad indictment of how some people are and the direction of travel of society. It's not great.

Justajot · 06/07/2019 17:45

Whilst there is some poor parenting about, I think that most parents do a good enough job. That means that how your DC turn out is mostly down to luck. I know fab parents with tricky children. I'm lucky that mine are fairly easy. It would be like a slap in the face to some of my friends if I claimed that my DD's successes were down to my parenting.

mathanxiety · 06/07/2019 17:45

Don't feel bad about your child's report. This is not a kick in the teeth for you. It's more like a self inflicted punch in the face to her.
No-one can kick you in the teeth unless you open your mouth to let them. Haffiana

Feel sorry for her child. The mother has embarrassed herself and probably her child too. Classy people do not live their lives on FB and do not brag.

OP, to be honest, in this country ALL the kids have glowing reports at that age, it's neither politically correct nor fashionable to put anything negative. Most parents know that, so it's pretty safe to be proud of your kids
YY to that. You can be proud of your kids always, becuse you know the effort they have put in, you know the starting point they are coming from. It doesn't take a school report for you to know your own child and to be proud of them.

This mother apparently does not know that everyone got more or less the same report. Oh dear.

paddlingwhenIshouldbeworking · 06/07/2019 17:55

I don't get why anyone would put any comment about being proud of their child's school report on FB. The only person who cares is the child themselves, so tell them. Everyone else (other than maybe grandparents) rolls their eyes and moves on.

OKBobble · 06/07/2019 18:01

You can of course just scroll past.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 06/07/2019 18:04

That same throwaway comment could be said about anything posted then, couldn't it? We don't post in a vacuum and showing disregard for your child's privacy really isn't something that's 'hun-worthy' (to many, anyway).