Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

when a rich person says 'money doesnt buy you happiness"

275 replies

pingIspom · 06/07/2019 13:58

aibu to feel like screaming ? Angry

money does buy happiness otherwise they'd give it all away

OP posts:
Bourbonbiccy · 06/07/2019 22:45

I think it depends on what makes you happy. If the only thing you want in life is a Mercedes, a penthouse nice shoes and clothes, then yes it does buy happiness.

However if it's your family that you draw your happiness from, money does not stop you loosing them. Money can make your life so so much easier and less stressful.

But it does not protect you from sadness and heartbreak, which you just can't shake.

Pollaidh · 06/07/2019 22:49

As someone with multiple disabilities, including PTSD, but also very well off, I can say money doesn't make you happy if some of the other basics of your life are absent - like freedom from pain. However, money does ease many of the other stresses, making it easier to deal with the ill health.

So I'm in pain, therefore often quite miserable, but I can pay for treatments that will help with some relief, I can work fewer hours, I can throw money at other stresses.

soulrunner · 06/07/2019 22:52

It comes down to this: all other things being equal, having money makes life easier and having money reduces the collateral stress of life’s shit balls like bereavement and health scares.

Actionhasmagic · 06/07/2019 22:56

Agree with poster who says it buys you choice and I would add time to that. Eg could afford to pay for a cleaner instead of spending time doing it yourself. But deep down true happiness is love

tomboytown · 06/07/2019 22:57

Money can’t buy me love

Original poster
pingIspom · 06/07/2019 22:59

Money can’t buy me love

how many people are in relationships because of money?

OP posts:
SrSteveOskowski · 06/07/2019 23:00

Money may not buy happiness, but it's nicer to cry in a BMW than on a bicycle ;)

AbsentmindedWoman · 06/07/2019 23:17

When I was very depressed years ago, I was laughably far from rich but a windfall meant I had enough money to risk spending about £400 on an appointment with a private psychiatrist. He gave me an antidepressant, not routinely prescribed by NHS doctors, that started working within a matter of weeks, and I had zero side effects.

The SSRIs my gp had tried had made me almost insane with severe anxiety and panic. Older drugs would have been next in the pipeline.

I recovered from depression thanks to having money - of course there are no guarantees that the medication would definitely work, but it did, and there was no option to try them via NHS.

So, in some cases, money literally does buy happiness.

Aroundtheworldandback · 06/07/2019 23:18

Yes of course it makes life easier but not happier as in the end you take it for granted and expect it. I remember being ecstatically happy with my room in a budget hotel many years ago. Now we have money we stay in the best hotels in the world but I have never been as happy as I was in that first- that proves it doesn’t it?

SnowsInWater · 06/07/2019 23:23

Money can buy a decent education which arguably puts you in a better position in life so it may not buy happiness per se but I think it gives people a head start.

mintcucumber · 06/07/2019 23:27

Rich people don’t die by suicide.

Oh, wait ......

badg3r · 06/07/2019 23:28

I don't think having more than a certain amount of money makes you happy. But having less than what you need can make you totally miserable, especially when you have dependents.

Sheepdog100 · 06/07/2019 23:33

Makes life more comfortable.

wheresmymojo · 06/07/2019 23:39

Money can buy happiness IMO.

Especially if you have MH issues. Being able to afford several weeks in The Priory with private psychiatrists and a daily regimen of counselling.

wheresmymojo · 06/07/2019 23:40

Also....it's not like you don't get to have a good marriage, kids and all the 'free' stuff just because you have more money.

Hopefully you get all of that plus awesome holidays, a nice big house and a cleaner.

twattymctwatterson · 06/07/2019 23:41

Money would buy my happiness I can assure you. Given that lack of money is the cause of every single problem I have.

anothernotherone · 06/07/2019 23:42

Aroundtheworldandback of course it doesn't. It's incredibly easy to be happy when you're 18 sleeping in a w4 bed form in Laos or a 2 rupee roof terrace in Rajasthan or an illegal black market £1 dorm in Vietnam next to a beautiful boy you're fairly sure will be your boyfriend by Wednesday...

When you're 47 it takes money, 5 star hotels and aeroplanes...

bringbacksideburns · 06/07/2019 23:59

I agree with you OP.

There is nothing more depressing and stressful than worrying about money, particularly if you have kids.

I think Mumnet as a collective ,with many well heeled people ,have never really been on the bones of their arse doing the best they can but feeling like they are living half a life. So few will agree with you here.

So nany work hard for a pittance, never have holidays, never go to the theatre or out for a really good meal. Life can be sapped of a lot of enjoyment others just take for granted.

If you have a decent family and a couple of good genuine friends of course money could make you happy.

I for one could give up my draining full time job. I'd visit the countries I'd always wanted to go to. I'd make sure my parents were well looked after. No more worrying about having to sell their house to get care for a frail elderly mum if dad went first. The best healthcare.
Uni fees all paid for. Charity work. Choice.

I remember a psychologist on TV trying hard to persuade a single mum who had worked hard all her life that money would not buy her happiness. She was having none of it.

It's not so much material stuff. Although of course looking out of your window on to an acre of land and a pond would make you happier than looking out onto a gasworks and a busy motorway.
It's about waking up every morning with the worry gone. With boundless possibilities ahead.

We live in a country more divided than ever by wealth and poverty. We have food banks for God's sake.

Money helps make your life better. And if you are well off and start lecturing others that it doesnt its best you say nothing.

BoronationStreet · 07/07/2019 00:08

Actually this is true. I used to live a very happy life and I didn't earn much money but I had friends and was overall very happy.

Then I got a job offer in another state (I'm American) which literally tripled my salary so I took it and I was miserable. I had money to burn but no social life or real friends. I often regretted moving and can honestly say that it was a huge mistake.

So no, money cannot but happiness.

IAmNotAWitch · 07/07/2019 00:09

I have been poor and I have been (and am) rich. Rich is better.

My kids have never gone to bed hungry (like I did), they have never gone to school in ill fitting, dirty uniform (like I did), they have never had to have cold wet feet, etc.

It might not buy happiness, but it sure as hell takes away a lot of sources of unhappiness.

Cornball · 07/07/2019 00:20

Money buys freedom

Spudlet · 07/07/2019 00:41

£350. That’s how much DS’s speech therapy is costing per 6 sessions.

Having the money to fund that is making me very happy. Without it, he’d be getting no help at all for his speech delay, apart from what I could google and his preschool could cobble together. That would be an impossible sum of money for some parents to find, so that’s what their children would get around here - nothing. And I doubt they’d be terribly happy about that.

Money may not buy happiness, but it can help to alleviate some of the problems that cause unhappiness. Even if it doesn’t solve them completely. Moneys didn’t save my grandpa’s life, but it meant he could have a raised loo seat delivered within a day and therefore stay at home a little longer before he died, with the dignity of being able to use his own toilet. It hasn’t helped my grandma to walk for longer, but it’s bought her a lightweight wheelchair so she can still go to places with help. It meant grandma could have red roses to lay on grandpa’s grave, like in her wedding bouquet. Those things may not bring happiness, but they have slightly reduced the sum total of misery they experienced.

goodfornothinggnome · 07/07/2019 00:48

You dont necessarily get happier through having access to cash.
You do however seem cushioned by much of the shit that makes life stressful, but that stress is easily replaced for something else.
And then the lack of time becomes the replacement for not having money.

Honestly? Some of the richest people I've ever known are the most profoundly unhappy.

feelingsinister · 07/07/2019 01:02

Every single stressor in my life currently could be solved or improved by having money and those of the people closest to me.

Walnutwhipster · 07/07/2019 01:03

I have your £800 a week. I have no mortgage and drive a £30,000 car. My mum is dying (weeks if we're lucky) and I lost my dad a few years ago. I'll be fortunate if I live to see my children to adulthood. I've had many major surgeries. Before the last one a nurse thought she was being kind saying it might give me ten years. I'd have been dead by now without it but that brought me back to the crushing reality of my condition. Would you care to swap?