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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

when a rich person says 'money doesnt buy you happiness"

275 replies

pingIspom · 06/07/2019 13:58

aibu to feel like screaming ? Angry

money does buy happiness otherwise they'd give it all away

OP posts:
pingIspom · 06/07/2019 14:16

It doesn’t buy happiness. It makes unhappiness a bit more bearable though. Your OP is somewhat lacking in logic though.

maybe its because im left with 30 pounds for the next 6 daysHmm and therefore have no clarity of thought

OP posts:
countrygirl99 · 06/07/2019 14:17

Money won't stop you getting sick but it means you can get in help while you recover. It won't make your kids more academic , more sporty or artistic but it can get the tutoring to help them make the best of their talents. Money doesn't mean you will achieve your ambitions but it means you can take more risks getting there.

InTheHeatofLisbon · 06/07/2019 14:18

It absolutely buys you 'health'.

I must remember to tell my very rich Mum this.

Oh wait, she's dead. Cancer.

Money didn't save her life. Nor did it save my 28 year old friend who died of cancer recently either.

joyfullittlehippo · 06/07/2019 14:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TigerCameForTea · 06/07/2019 14:19

but, I'd rather cry in a mansion!

LaurieFairyCake · 06/07/2019 14:21

My parents are also dead from cancer. Having money made their last months/years so much better.

Horsemenoftheaclopalypse · 06/07/2019 14:23

My mother used to say “Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it can facilitate it”

There’s a ted talk somewhere about the amount of money you “need to be happy” everything beyond it is “nice to have” anything less does reduce happiness...

InTheHeatofLisbon · 06/07/2019 14:24

Having money made their last months/years so much better.

I'm glad that it made things easier for them, and I'm sorry they died.

It didn't make it easier for my Mum, it didn't get the pain relief she so desperately needed and it didn't mean she didn't die in agony. I wish it had!

Money takes away a lot of problems, I absolutely agree with that. It gives choices and opportunity that not having money doesn't give.

That's not the same as happiness though is it?

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 06/07/2019 14:25

Money can buy you health, it can't buy you eternal life there's a difference.

Grumpelstilskin · 06/07/2019 14:27

I loathe these patronising and arrogant platitudes! Money makes a massive difference in many, many circumstances. Even the worst situations are so much better when you do not have to worry about money. I have seen the difference first hand when it came to recent versus longer ago traumatic events like death and illness. It’s the sort of truly thoughtless and self-absorbed bullshit someone in an extremely privileged and advantaged position will say. Reminds me of people who brag how they did it all for themselves, starting their company from scratch with ‘nothing’. They fail to tell you though that they did not have to worry about small details like rent, bills or food thanks to wealthy parents/relatives and the convenient credit cushion of getting a loan thanks to connections, which simply would not be available to the have-nots. So, right from the go, those without those advantages won’t even get off the ground, or at least far fewer do.

JacquesHammer · 06/07/2019 14:27

Money doesn’t buy happiness but it makes being miserable a hell of a lot easier!

Zaphodsotherhead · 06/07/2019 14:27

I live under the poverty line now, and I am happy. I live alone with my dog, do my own thing, have a job I love and don't have to take anyone else's crap.

However, I've just had to take two weeks off work sick (had an operation) and sick pay is going to drop my income below 'paying my bills' level. So although I'm poor but happy, I'd really like to have some kind of cushion so that I knew just a simple virus wouldn't make the difference between paying the council tax and not paying it.

Mildura · 06/07/2019 14:30

@Ihopeyourcakeisshit
It can buy you the kind of misery you prefer. (Woody Allan)

“Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.” - Spike Milligan

Ticklingcheese · 06/07/2019 14:31

Money doesn't buy you happiness, but it buys you freedom and choice.

Lindellia · 06/07/2019 14:32

YABU. We are part of a relatively rich social circle, with people who work extremely long hours in the City and rarely see their kids.

Very few of them I would describe as truly happy. Divorce rates are through the roof, and we have lost 2 friends to suicide - they lost their job or got into trouble at work and couldn’t face the shame.

Lindellia · 06/07/2019 14:32

Money certainly makes life easier and less stressful in many ways. But that’s not the same thing as happiness.

Lindellia · 06/07/2019 14:33

I loathe these patronising and arrogant platitudes! Money makes a massive difference in many, many circumstances

No one is saying that it doesn’t. We are simply pointing out that that is not the same thing as it ‘buying happiness’.

RunningNinja79 · 06/07/2019 14:34

We get by quite nicely with our money. We have enough to pay the bills and a litte bit extra (not a lot, but enough to save up for nice things or pay for the odd small emergency). I am very happy right now. My working hours are 7-3 Mon to Fri.

I could work harder to get a more stressful job that pays more (I know I have the intelligence and the capability to work hard for it), but Id be so much unhappier.

Different things make different people happy. Im happy with my work life balance. I see the DCs briefly in the morning before I go to work (DH gets them up and ready for school), but then Im home for school pick up. I have time to do my hobbies and I have a job where I can leave it at work and not have to bring it home with me.

So while money makes some things easier, I dont think it actually buys you happiness.

Jaxhog · 06/07/2019 14:34

It doesn't buy happiness but it does buy security and choices which may make life easier.

An extreme lack of money to buy security and choices can make you miserable. Comparing yourself to those who have more money than you do, regardless of how much you actually need, can make you miserable too.

anothernotherone · 06/07/2019 14:34

Obviously it doesn't buy happiness at simplistic level, as in their are unhappy, I'll rich people and happy, healthy fairly poor people.

There is a correlation between money and health at a population level though.

Were not poor - we're above average earners but live in a rural area where most people are inherited property rich and live in gigantic two family houses with the parents' parents who provide childcare (though I wouldn't want to live in this set up it's a money saver!) or have had a house built for them on family land a dozen meters from one set of grandparents, who provide childcare... (abroad) and very few young families are totally self financing with rent or mortgage to pay for - which means that our disposable income has been tight at times because we are "incomers" to the area with no local family or inheritance.

My mum, who lives 800 miles away and has a pension larger than my salary and has long since paid off her mortgage, absolutely lives the phrase

"It's only money"

I was once stressed about having scraped the side of my car on our own gate while parking, which was going to cost a month's salary to fix - entirely my fault obviously, but my mother interrupted me telling her to say "ah well, never mind, it's only money, nobody's hurt that's the main thing. Your dad and I are quite stressed too because the gardener doesn't understand my vision for the garden and is threatening to quit" Hmm

My parents were under similar financial pressures to us 30 years ago, but now they are very comfortably off indeed they seem to have undergone memory wipes and live the phrase "it's only money". It is "only" money but sometimes it's a big stress factor.

Obviously for some people it's a thousand times worse. Plenty of people have killed themselves over money or died for lack of it - unable to afford heat and food or in other countries healthcare.

So sometimes it isn't "only" money.

Assuming money isn't important is often acutely insensitive and a bit smug IMO. It's an assumption that only people who are comfortably off can make.

anothernotherone · 06/07/2019 14:35

*there not their, ill not I'll

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 06/07/2019 14:36

Money doesn’t buy you happiness but it can soften some of the blows that life throws at you but I doubt all their money made Anders Holch Povlson and Anna Storm Pedersen feel any better.
www.theguardian.com/world/2019/apr/22/asos-billionaire-loses-three-children-sri-lanka-anders-holch-povlsen

Not having money can be a massive source of stress. Having money solves that source of unhappiness.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 06/07/2019 14:36

Your confusing happiness with wellbeing.

AnnabelleBronstein · 06/07/2019 14:37

It doesn’t. Everything is relative and problems expand to fill the available space.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 06/07/2019 14:38

@Midura
"Money can't buy you happiness but it certainly let's you choose your own form of misery" Groucho Marx
We could probably find a dozen more variations if we Google