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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

when a rich person says 'money doesnt buy you happiness"

275 replies

pingIspom · 06/07/2019 13:58

aibu to feel like screaming ? Angry

money does buy happiness otherwise they'd give it all away

OP posts:
riotlady · 06/07/2019 18:18

My dad always says money doesn’t buy you happiness but if you’re going to be sad, you might as well in be sad in a Bentley.

Snowy81 · 06/07/2019 18:20

@pingIspom I beat you! I’m left with £0.65 until 6 days!

Lifecraft · 06/07/2019 18:20

Money buys you things. Things don’t make you happy.

My Porsche 911 Targa makes me very happy.

CorianderDestroysFamilies · 06/07/2019 18:21

For all the reasons I stated I am being serious - imagine losing your child in horrible circumstances and then dealing with the stresses of debt and bankruptcy afterwards because you wanted to bring them home and bury them. Can you really not see how money would make this easier? Obviously in no way would it make anyone happier but it would lessen the stress and pain that would be experienced due to the associated stresses.

ProteinshakesandAntonsAss · 06/07/2019 18:23

Can you really not see how money would make this easier? Obviously in no way would it make anyone happier but it would lessen the stress and pain that would be experienced due to the associated stresses.

Exactly this.

I am dealing with a trauma at the moment. Not having to worry about how I will pay the bills on top of it, would make take one thing away. That one thing would make life a lot easier and mean I can concentrate in getting better.

anothernotherone · 06/07/2019 18:25

The "but it doesn't stop people dying" contingent are being deliberately and defensively obtuse on this thread. Of course money doesn't stop people dying of incurable diseases or in unforseen accidents (though there is a correlation between both absolute and relative poverty and ill health and reduced life expectancy at a population level within rich westernised countries as well as globally).

Essentially as Whosorrynow says money (not incredible wealth but enough money not to have to worry about how to buy a new washing machine or pay for car repairs, pay normal household bills and put good quality food on the table, pay for extra services where necessary, whether extra carers for an elderly parent, a cleaner, childcare/ babysitting, a taxi when the train is late or its raining or you're just tired, a meal out or take away when you are just to tired or late home to face cooking, a bought sandwich instead of going hungry when you're in hospital with a sick child etc etc)
is a necessary but not sufficient condition for happiness.

Money, as people keep saying, doesn't guarantee happiness but the lack of it can make happiness impossible.

Not riches, but enough money.

People who keep pointing out that there are rich unhappy people are largely missing the point that not one single poster is claiming money can guarantee happiness or prevent tragedy, but are saying that the lack of money can make a bad situation impossible or an otherwise good situation bad.

LesLavandes · 06/07/2019 18:25

Money can make you very unhappy.

ProteinshakesandAntonsAss · 06/07/2019 18:29

Money can make you very unhappy.

Does it make you worry about not being able to keep the roof over you head. And you children's heads?

Again, money may not make some people happy. It will, however, make you miserable when you dont have enough.

Baguetteaboutit · 06/07/2019 18:32

Meh, money is wasted on the rich. Maybe they should stop fucking hoarding it if it makes them so unhappy.

Starfish0 · 06/07/2019 18:33

Loneliness is a killer.
And could affect a millionaire right down to the poorest man in the country.
That said, money can buy you social/recreational activities. Therapy. It can give you choices like leaving a place you feel lonely to be closer to friends or relatives. It can mean you have more options to leave a relationship that’s making you isolated and lonely.
I think having enough money to be comfortable gives you a better chance of happiness.

CorianderDestroysFamilies · 06/07/2019 18:33

I’m really sorry @ProteinshakesandAntonsAss, I hope things are ok for you soon Flowers

Pineapplefish · 06/07/2019 18:33

The thing is that the person who said this can't win. If instead of saying "money doesn't buy you happiness" they said to you "I'm much happier than you because I'm so rich" that would make you feel even worse, wouldn't it?

(Of course they could just not say anything about the subject, but I assume there was a conversation leading up to this, it didn't just come out of the blue.)

JudefromJersey · 06/07/2019 18:34

It brings choice.

LauderSyme · 06/07/2019 18:34

@anothernotherone Well said.

jennymanara · 06/07/2019 18:34

My DP has a life limiting illness. I worry how I will cope financially when he dies. But when he has been in hospital I have not had to worry about paying for car parking, buying drinks and food in the hospital. I did not even have to think about these things, which of course made things easier.
I have a friend who has 3 kids in London in an incredibly over crowded house. I don't know how she manages. I am sure her life would be much better if she was not over crowded.

jennymanara · 06/07/2019 18:35

Also in the nicest possible way, practically everyone has to deal with bereavement and illness. They are universal experiences. Just like paying tax is.

jennymanara · 06/07/2019 18:36

@Pineapplefish Or they could just try not being a cunt?

DontPressSendTooSoon · 06/07/2019 18:37

My dad used to say 'money may not buy happiness but if i'm going to miserable I'd rather be miserable and rich than miserable and poor'

Blueberrysponge · 06/07/2019 18:39

I inherited a LARGEEE eye watering sum of money once. I didn't know what to do, I had everything I wanted, never been interested in buying 'stuff' and don't care about designer stuff, I'm just a minimalist enjoying the simple basic life. I literally felt overwhelmed, one day I went into a shop and looked at this TV thinking I could buy ten of them and not even dent my bank balance.
Then it became clear that money gives you choice and too much choice causes stress! Then I felt how easily I could get sucked into the material world, it is like a drug (not that I know about that!) Choices choices choices, more more more.
I just don't have time for this, all the stuff I like is free or very cheap, family, nature, cooking, friends, health, laughing, reading etc etc.
So I donated 90% of it and my life went back to normal. Felt like a burden tbh.

Starfish0 · 06/07/2019 18:45

Blueberry that is fascinating thanks for sharing.

derxa · 06/07/2019 18:46

Can you really not see how money would make this easier? Obviously in no way would it make anyone happier but it would lessen the stress and pain that would be experienced due to the associated stresses.
If three of my four children died I would not care about debt or bankruptcy.

OhTheRoses · 06/07/2019 18:47

Money will never bring back ds2 who lived for very few hours and whose loss I carry in my heart even 22 years later.

However, it does make me happy to count my money, spend it when I wish and to have a bloody good life with everything I want. When dd had mh issues it was fucking helpful to have £6k and some to spend without worrying when CAMHs couldn't give a toss. (I have I add done a lot of campaigning over the last three years because it's a disgrace that young people are suffering and don't have similar access to care Angry).

I agree with the op. It's a load of old boilleaux. Money is a great help. When one is in the pits of despair having some to spend helps, even momentarily. I've been bloody miserable on occasion - blowing a grand, booking a holiday, buying some theatre tickets makes me feel a great deal better even if only temporarily.

A sentiment that will undoubtedly piss more than a few off.

JacquesHammer · 06/07/2019 18:50

If three of my four children died I would not care about debt or bankruptcy

But you might care about wanting to be able to provide and support your remaining child?

brotown · 06/07/2019 18:50

I have money
I cry most days
I am very unhappy

BogglesGoggles · 06/07/2019 18:51

It’s true though...it can remove some unhappiness but will never make someone happy unless their only problems are financial problems (in which case they would probably be reasonably happy anyway because they would have the resilience/good people in their lives/reasonableness etc etc) to be happy anyway. I have huge money problems. It is stressful. But I’m a pretty happy person.