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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... to ask about three things you think about every day?

338 replies

onmydoorstep · 06/07/2019 09:45

I've NCed for this. For some context I'm in early 50s, nice DH & kids, good position financially (but big mortgage), jobs, health OK, etc. Lots of pluses, and the usual stresses of work, some family stuff, and so on.

I find there are things that I think about almost everyday.

  • Parents: passed away over a year ago after long illnesses. I miss them so much, and think about them every day.
  • DS: has friends, popular socially but struggles in school, not very motivated at all. He also has some manageable health issues. I worry about him.
  • Sex (life passing me by?). My DH is great on so many levels, but his interested has decreased hugely in recent years. I just sense it feels like a chore for him, even when he makes the effort. I daydream a lot ...
OP posts:
Chloe9 · 06/07/2019 22:50

My kids.
Falling in love again.
How much I hate my teeth (I think this every time I smile).

NCforthis2019 · 06/07/2019 22:50

-^^ And also my grandmother, she’s dying.

Leftielefterson · 06/07/2019 22:52

My dad (passed away recently). Every time my little baby does something I have the urge to call or text him. So that’s hard.

My weight. Have an eating disorder which worsens when I’m stressed or upset.

Sex. I have a bit of a man brain when it comes to sex.

Time40 · 06/07/2019 22:53

Want to know what it is about seaside towns that so enthralls the previous poster that s/he thinks about them every day?!

@DuggesWoggle, I just love them. I'm obsessed. I always have been, since childhood. They are sort of my hobby. My favourite thing to do is to have a day trip to a seaside town, and I quite often go on my own. I'm keen on photography, and I have a vast collection of seaside town photos. I'm always thinking about which one to go to next. I just love everything about them - I love the beautiful bits, and I love all the trashy stuff, too. Seaside towns make me feel free, and very calm. Seaside towns make me feel that life is a good thing (which normal life tends not to do).

Yes, I agree with a lot of pps - it's really sad how many people think about their weight all the time.

I'm surprised that so few people think about one of mine - death - though. To me, death is so ever-present that I find it hard to believe that it's not on everyone's mind the entire time.

freshasthebrightbluesky · 06/07/2019 22:56

Money - I wish we had some!
Dc1 - I worry about this child more than the other because they seem so much more vulnerable (struggles with school work and friendships and sometimes seems quite lonely)
My weight and how I know what to do to lose it but just have no motivation to do so

NotMyRealName123 · 06/07/2019 22:56

Death - mine, people close to me, people I've seen die and those I couldn't help

Am I enough/good enough - various situations

Surely I'm going to fuck up again soon

Bourbonbiccy · 06/07/2019 22:59

My mum, every morning, every time my son does something new, funny, hurts himself , hits a new milestone, every evening in bed.

My sons future - what will this bloody country look like in 10 years, 20 years. How will he get on in reception, high school, uni etc.

How lucky I am in most respects of my life,

Sickofphd · 06/07/2019 23:00

Really interesting thread!

For me, it's my purpose in life and what I want to do/where I'm going, my parents (they're far away and I miss them) and the past. I have a problem with nostalgia - I struggle with living in the present and constantly rehash memories. I'm more content, stable and in control now than I was previously but life is more boring, hence why I rehash memories from my tumultuous and messy past.

Oh, and publishing my book and the constant feeling that I'm letting myself down by not properly pursuing a career as a writer.

Champagneformyrealfriends · 06/07/2019 23:03

Money

Work

Whether I’m a bad parent because I want to work full time and don’t want more children.

Benjispruce · 06/07/2019 23:06

1- My teen DC, their worries, their happiness.

2-My DH and our plans for the future

3- My job-I love it but it's low paid(TA) and should I earn more towards our family?

Champagneformyrealfriends · 06/07/2019 23:06

Time40 if I thought about death too much I’d have a nervous breakdown. DH isn’t scared of death, I am.

onetwofive · 06/07/2019 23:08

Interesting to see how many common themes there are!

My kids - how much I adore them, several times a day, and also, oh my God this is so bloody hard, several times a day.

My appearance (weight)

The state of the planet :(

MrsMiggins37 · 06/07/2019 23:11

Just 3?!

My kids
Work
Money
Sex
My weight

bumblingbovine49 · 06/07/2019 23:12

My.weight, how it will probably kill me soon and how defeated.I am by it. What shall I wear, how.long can I put off getting dressed as it is so stressful

DS . Having a lot of problems at school at the.moment mostly related to his ASD. His life is getting smaller and smaller and he wants to do.less and less. He is anxious and miserable and I am struggling to know.how to help. Worrying for his future

My mum who died 4 months ago

Emptyspacex · 06/07/2019 23:28

Family
Money
Death.

PodgeBod · 06/07/2019 23:36

My best friend died from suicide last year, I think about that every day and what I could have done differently.
Money, I worry about it constantly and I hate it.
Housework. I can never stay on top of it and it makes me feel so guilty and inadequate.

Those 3 sound very depressing but I have a lot of joy as well, my children bring a lot of happiness to me!

Beforetimebegan · 06/07/2019 23:52

DS who’s an only child when we’re gone
Brexit
Never experiencing feeling loved by my mum

DuggeesWoggle · 07/07/2019 07:07

@Time40 I too love a seaside town and know what you mean about the feeling of freedom. There's something about the sound of the seagulls screeching that makes me feel a bit happier. I guess it goes back to childhood holidays by the sea with my grandparents who lived by the coast - happy carefree days. We had a recent holiday in Tenby - now that is a lovely seaside town.

@bumblingbovine49 Flowers you sound so very sad and ground down by life, I hope you can find a way to make things better.

This thread makes me sad that so many of us live with constant self-loathing, self-doubt and burdened with sad thoughts. And yes, the weight thing - how much could we achieve if we were not thinking about it all the time!

tangledyarn · 07/07/2019 07:23

My own health. Its rubbish and is really getting in the way of me living my life. Feel like shit all the time and worry about losing my job eventually as a consequence.

My parents dying, they have both had health problems this year..both hopefully resolveable but they are getting older and it's a complicated set up with them and my sister with disabilities and I'm very worried about coping with it all.

On a happier note..Sewing, recently started getting really into dressmaking and I like to think about what I'll make next a lot and pretty fabrics!

Reith · 07/07/2019 07:42

There's been some good threads recently about the facts and futility of dieting. So a few months ago I started buying the next dress size up and throwing away the clothes that were the dress size below. I decided to eat for health and not weight loss.

I won't lie and say that I never think about my weight or crash diets or feel bad about my body, but for the most part I spend a lot less time thinking about calories or food or ugly thoughts about myself.

pinkhousesarebest · 07/07/2019 08:05
  1. My dcs and their needs. Both different.
  2. Worrying about my future without my Dh in it. ( he isn't ill - I've been worrying like this since I met him 30 years ago).
  3. What have we done/ are we doing to our planet. Every day I see things that drive me to despair. This week a whole wood, bristling with life, was razed to the ground beside me. How is it possible? Dealing with indifference in this and much else wears me out.
pinkhousesarebest · 07/07/2019 08:09

Sorry, current number 4. Sparrows. Where have they gone? We have none in our garden - used to have loads.

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza · 07/07/2019 08:12

Our upcoming move. I think about aspects of packing/our new place almost constantly. Certainly not an hour goes by without me thinking about it.

The children. I have been worrying constantly about DC1’s health, but we got a diagnosis last week and although it’s still significantly just the knowing has calmed me enormously. So now I think about them and her health but it’s in a much more positive way.

DH. I’m always wondering where he is, what he’s doing, what time he’ll be home, I bet he’d laugh at this, would he like to try this for dinner. I sound a bit suffocating reading that back but he hasn’t complained yet Grin

Much love to everyone worrying about parents. That was me last year and it’s why we’re moving, to be closer and more supportive.

Reith · 07/07/2019 08:18

Sorry, current number 4. Sparrows. Where have they gone? We have none in our garden - used to have loads.

They're in my garden. Don't suppose you've seen any starlings?

Mummadeeze · 07/07/2019 08:19

I think how much I love my DD all the time.
I worry about how bad my relationship is with my partner and what to do about it.
I think about money all the time. Constantly. It is annoying but I never have enough.
I think about my weight, what I am eating. Constantly too.
But my secret thought is about my boss at the moment. I always have a crush on someone I know and he is invading my thoughts right now. Luckily I am leaving my job in two weeks so I will try and move on from that.

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