... to ask about three things you think about every day?

[onmydoorstep]

I've NCed for this. For some context I'm in early 50s, nice DH & kids, good position financially (but big mortgage), jobs, health OK, etc. Lots of pluses, and the usual stresses of work, some family stuff, and so on.

I find there are things that I think about almost everyday.

• Parents: passed away over a year ago after long illnesses. I miss them so much, and think about them every day.

• DS: has friends, popular socially but struggles in school, not very motivated at all. He also has some manageable health issues. I worry about him.

• Sex (life passing me by?). My DH is great on so many levels, but his interested has decreased hugely in recent years. I just sense it feels like a chore for him, even when he makes the effort. I daydream a lot ...

My weight
Work
My DC

Food - I'm overweight and want to lose but it seems to be a constant thought in my head.

Money - I'm part-time and DH is a SAHD for health reasons, so I'm constantly thinking about how much I've earned and if I can afford everything this month.

My appearance - I hate the way I look.

I worry about my job, ridiculous targets that seem completely unachievable at the moment.

I think about what exercise I can squeeze in next and when

I think about my clothes and what to wear

Seems really superficial when I write it down... I have a dh and two dses and two dogs, but life with them just kind of happens without a great deal of conscious thought I think - unless something happens to them health or happiness wise and then of course they zoom into primary focus.

If I'm completely honest I'll think about:

The last minor thing that could be irking either of my teenage DCs. They are typically fine and happy, but I'm still on 'how can I fix this' alert with them.

Sex with whoever I currently fancy (last week's AA man is the latest). I have a good sex life with DH, but dreaming rather than cheating isn't hurting anyone.

Reminiscing about the latest meet up with a friend: the giggles and the serious stuff and, in equal measure, how I'm going to style the latest item of clothing I've got my eye on (I'll only buy it if I can afford it).

Worrying about ds (and school, his health, his future)
Worrying about balancing his needs with our dds.
That people love me and think I am a good person even though I have guilt and negativity running through me like a stick of rock.

My calorie - I'm size 10-12 and my obsession with my weight is unhealthy tbh

If I'm where I want to be for the rest of my life in terms of my job

My bed - can't wait to get in it at the end of a work day

I have had both hips replaced, the right one twice, which has now slipped part way out of the socket, the tail end of the prosthesis is grinding against the inside of the bone causing a lot of pain. Consultant said he cannot replace a third time as my bones are too thin. The only alternative is for him to remove the prosthesis which means my leg won't be connected to the rest of my skeleton. I already can't place any weight on the leg and use a walking frame. If bones break while he's doing the op it means eight weeks on traction. I'm scared, i think my Consultant is scared. The op was scheduled for last November and cancelled after I saw him shortly before. Seeing him later this month - still can't decide.

I have a sister, we don't have much contact, usually speak once a year and she is my next of kin. I'm in my 70s so death is not an unrealistic possibility so I am writing in a notebook, everything I can think of, so that when I die she will have all info to hand. I'm also updating my will.

Rather less serious, my mobility scooter is getting really old and I am giving a lot of thought to its replacement.

My kids - how amazing they are, how lucky I am to have them

My babies I lost

How I can figure out a career plan that gives me more time with kids, less stress but still pays the bills (so far, lottery winner is my front runner)

My son - I miss him when he's not with me
Food - eating problems currently rampant
my house - not long living here and lots of work needs doing

Just saw my old post.

I don't think about the job I hated so much, as I'm not there anymore.

I still think about Devon every day.

I don't think about what's for dinner anymore. Because I don't particularly care.

My three things are now;

1. Devon.

1. Pain/is this ever going to be controlled/is it going to spread to my heart and kill me like it did my father/will I ever be able to feel strong and healthy again.

1. When will there be a day where I don't have to deal with crap I'm too old for, don't deserve, or probably do deserve but surely I've been punished enough for by now?

DP said recently that he never sees me smile anymore. I think he might have a point, but there's fuck all I can do about it. I need to be sitting somewhere quiet, green and as far away from all of this as possible. And that's not going to happen any time soon.

Dying / people I love dying

The state of the world / currently Australian fires consuming me

My unborn baby (pregnant )

My son - back to work after mat leave and I miss him so awfully.
My finances - terrible at saving but trying to put a little away each month this year
What to do with myself - my prestigious well paid career doesn't seem very fulfilling suddenly and I'm tempted to bin it off and work in a shop to get my balance back

Climate change. Worries about my son’s future. What am I going to do for work?

1. Money / wining the lottery. Why all Ds1's friends live in huge houses and go on holiday three times a year and we don't!

2. How awful parenting my children / this generation is - how ungrateful and unappreciative they are.

3. That I'm permanently so tired and fed up, on this monotonous merry go round of life.

My Dad
My Mum (both passed away relatively recently)
When the hell can I stop working as it's 'orrible

the lack of sleep we got last night(nil)

how much food/milk we have to buy today(spend 40-50 a day as kids eat constantly)

when am i getting to the beach again(love love love the seaside which is 20 mins away in the car)as we go regular just for a few hours by the sea

My weight.---im type 2 diabetic and my diet is rubbish
The past--I wish I'd been a better parent tho in great at it now
Finances---How will we manage retirement

My mental health

My families future

Leaving

If the kids are OK
Sex and lack of it
A bloke who I used to work with (usually in tandem with #2!)

My diet atm is another occupation - what I've eaten, etc. Trying to lose 5/10 lbs

My dad - died 9 years go and I miss him and something always comes to mind about him every day (not always sad but lots of funny things or just sentimental stuff);

My brother - I worry about his mental and physical health;

My Mum - I worry that she's getting less mobile and thinks she's hiding that from us. ().

Definitely my weight too. It is a constant battle and pre-occupation. I don’t think I will ever be free of that worry which is sad and superficial but I can’t help it.
Money - flip flopping between being too extravagant and extreme budgeting but think about my bank balance about twenty to thirty times a day.
Work and how stressful it is when I am work and how much I hate my partner when I am at home.
Writing this out makes me feel a bit deranged, but I actually feel okay despite all this most of the time!

1. Did I turn the straighners off?
2. What's for lunch?
3. What's for dinner

Money
How fat I am
Various family problems

Money - we have none. I’m a student and husband just lost his job.
My son who passed away - I miss him everyday
Where I’ll end up in life