Slightly different isnt it-even tax credits and universal credits recognise that
How is this relevant? You’re suggesting that people with more than one kid are somehow responsible for having no help because they should have stopped at one. We didn’t all choose to have multiple children, and if people are less likely to babysit for more than one child, we are a bit screwed then, aren’t we?
I haven’t seen anyone say they’re entitled to couples nights out, I certainly don’t feel entitled to them, or expect them. But it does have a negative impact on your relationship if you never get to do it, and it’s hard to understand this until you experience it.
There are always posts on MN from women saying that GPs have offered to watch their baby so they can have a night out / away with DH and they’re not sure - the consensus is always that they should do it as your mental health and marriage will suffer if you never do things like this. So I’m not sure why it’s difficult to reach the same conclusion from the other side.
When my sister babysat for us for the first time last year, it had been almost two years since DH and I had been alone together at all. Two years we’d spent firefighting with twins with disabilities, to the point neither of us were really functioning as individuals, let alone as a couple. I know for a fact that my mum friends who get regular time alone with their DHs feel much more able to cope, feel happier in their marriages and in themselves. It’s not exactly rocket science.
I want my friends and family to be happy. If they’re struggling and need a bit of a break, I’d gladly help them out. But I really don’t have any friends who are parents who don’t have a great support system in place, so they all get time alone together often.
tigerseye10 you really need to learn to read a room. This thread is full of people who’ve either lost their parents, or whose parents have no interest in them and their children, and who never get any respite as a result. So it may not be the best place to complain about grandparents fighting over who gets to spend the most amount of time with their GC or who has the most fun with them! Sure, I’ll bet it’s frustrating when GP won’t listen to you about things like junk food but at least then you have a choice - take the free childcare and the benefits of your child having a loving relationship with a GP, or don’t.
Having to bite your tongue constantly over decisions you don't really agree with but can't control due their kindness in giving up time to facilitate you being able to go back to work e.g. constant junk food, tv time.
Seriously? I’d give anything for my boys to have known my mum, for her to be here to get to know them, to be around because I miss her, and for support which I badly need. I’d understand what you’re saying if the GP are toxic, anusive, nasty, etc. But if you’re unhappy with the junk food or tv time your kids get while being cared for, for free, then pay for childcare like those who have no other option. You do have the option.
As for ageing parents, plenty of us on this thread also have parents / PIL who aren’t interested in helping out but will no doubt expect support when they can’t look after themselves, so don’t think that lacking family support means not having this responsibility.