... to resign in embarrassmnet and emigrate to Timbuktu? *mortified*

[ShuckThisFitThough]

NC because ... well, technically, I guess I wouldn't have to: I'm going to have to change my name and emigrate anyway after this.

I've accidentally messaged my bloody boss in a way that was ... unintentionally sort of suggestive. Which I totally did notice - roughly about 10 seconds after hitting "send".

What it was actually about: fellow manager being an utter moron who's been the cause of several people resigning in frustration and me categorically refusing to work a role that makes me dependent on that guy because I actually like my job and was planning on keeping it (so long as it allows for me to ignore the moron as much as possible).

How I phrased it: iteratively, from direct, using a lot of NSFW terminology, going towards cleverly chosen metaphors:

When I accidentally hit "send": at the point when the aforementioned metaphors were about 3 revisions from being actually sendable and revolved entirely around royal mistresses of all things.

The self-identified king is going to read this totally wrong, isn't he?

What I meant is: I don't want to work for or with this person, no matter what.

What I probably actually said - albeit unintentionally - is: "I'm totally down with going to bed with the boss, no strings attached." And there are two potential bosses in this story, one of whom I've just complained about lengthily (hence the text) - the other one being the recipient.

I'm going to have to leave my home, family, job and friendships behind and start a new life where nobody knows me, aren't I?

Please tell me it's salvageable.

Hey, OP

Your boss has started a thread complaining about your being so arsey with the cleaners in your holiday cottage.

She is also pretty pissed off about the charity you started. Says you're a cunt.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3630452-To-be-appalled-at-an-email-I-ve-just-received

Utter nonsense and completely unprofessional.

There's a lot to be said for brevity and clarity.

Stop trying so hard to be quirky and 'clever'.

OP - I doubt your boss actually understands your message - no one can understand that. 🤦🏻‍♀️

You clearly think you’re “someone”.
Your boss is clearly handling you.
My money’s on the bloke you hate getting promoted again before Christmas. Can he write coherently?

Why didn't you just tell your boss the problem with your colleague and reasons you don't want to work with him in, simple language, minus the swearing?

Maybe for next time try doing that.

I expect your colleagues are just thanking god it's Friday

Well my post will add swimmingly to the conversation..

Anne B - know about from history. But mainly love Clare Foy saying Thomas Cremwell in Wolf Hall. Still have no idea why Cremwell appeared to be the key word which had a French accent applied

But her execution scene was heartbreaking...

Mme Pompadour - I can only draw upon the historical text of David Tennant's The Girl in the Fireplace!

You seem to think there are only two options

1. sweary, crass email telling boss what you will or won't fucking do
2. random metaphorical waffling about your pretty neck

What about just simple, inoffensive, yet direct language? These sorts of conversations are.usually best has verbally rather than over text or email, I think

Where the fuck do these people work that sending an email even slightly similar to the OP’s is considered an ok way to communicate?

Girl in the fireplace is a very sad story. 😢

I'm watching the Tudors on amazon prime. Anne Boleyn is about two episodes away from losing her head. Henry is quite hot and there's loads of sex in it. I suggest you get a glass of wine and watch that. You won't need to resign no one will have the foggiest what you're going on about anyway!

thetwinkles Fri 05-Jul-19 23:29:43
I'm watching the Tudors on amazon prime. Anne Boleyn is about two episodes away from losing her head. Henry is quite hot and there's loads of sex in it. I suggest you get a glass of wine and watch that. You won't need to resign no one will have the foggiest what you're going on about anyway!
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I recommend this:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Other_Boleyn_Girl_(2008_film

I was extremely, er - disturbed - by it.
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OP, is your passport up to date and have you applied for a visa yet?

OP, I don't have much to add to what has already been said, other than to agree that the text appears to be incomprehensible, and you probably should claim it was the unfortunate result of too many proseccos in the sun!

This post is fabulous. I’ve been chuckling away 😂

OP - I understand what you meant to say, but you sound a bit bonkers. Own it though, don’t try to unravel or explain any further. If your boss understood (and few people would have the history background), I really doubt he’d take it as a come on. He probably thinks you’re a bit strange/drunk/try hard.

You really don’t need to emigrate!

OP I think I love you. Please come and work for me and send me texts like these on a regular basis. My team are awfully boring and straight to the point.

I hated history

I once sent my mother a dick pic of my husbands by mistake. She is as liberal as queen Victoria. I still can't look her in the eye.
I think you should definitely emigrate. I'm coming with you.

I think ‘pretty little neck’ is what Anne Boleyn said she had rather than OP - is that right?

If you are both history buffs I think it’s actually a pretty good email and explains it perfectly. I don’t think your boss would take it too literally that you are discussing mistresses as presumably you’re not running an actual court?

Is the reason for your embarrassment that the message was more contrived than you intended, and he will therefore conclude you want to impress him??

That is what I sense but things aren't terribly clear ...

If so... claim absolute drunkenness.

Oh Lord it makes sense to me. You'd rather have the control than the title. And having the title is dangerous.

What you meant was the above - that you’d rather have control than the title. Instead you’re worried your boss might think you want to be his mistress instead of his wife. I get why you put it like that after receiving advice from your coach. It’s a thing I can’t understand about the workplace, why so many never say what they mean but instead make you guess by hinting at you. Aside from the fact that it’s fucking irritating, your attempt was way too try-too-hard. Sorry.

Are you Lucy Worsley?

Just email again and say "Woops i just read that back and realised how it sounds, just to clarify I meant I really don't want to work with x"

If it helps my boss once finished a long email sent to our entire team with "Also, SadOtter there is some underwear beside my desk for you" he meant spare underwear for children (primary school) he apologised, I laughed, there was a bit of joking about it for a little while, nobody had to emigrate.

I wrote "Please note that I'm more of a Mme Pompadour than an Anne Boleyn: I don't need to wear the crown when it might cost me my pretty little neck. Everyone knows who I am either way."

If that's all you wrote I wouldn't worry. Other than being a bit pretentious and try hard it's harmless enough. You do sound a bit pissed though.😁