... to resign in embarrassmnet and emigrate to Timbuktu? *mortified*

[ShuckThisFitThough]

NC because ... well, technically, I guess I wouldn't have to: I'm going to have to change my name and emigrate anyway after this.

I've accidentally messaged my bloody boss in a way that was ... unintentionally sort of suggestive. Which I totally did notice - roughly about 10 seconds after hitting "send".

What it was actually about: fellow manager being an utter moron who's been the cause of several people resigning in frustration and me categorically refusing to work a role that makes me dependent on that guy because I actually like my job and was planning on keeping it (so long as it allows for me to ignore the moron as much as possible).

How I phrased it: iteratively, from direct, using a lot of NSFW terminology, going towards cleverly chosen metaphors:

When I accidentally hit "send": at the point when the aforementioned metaphors were about 3 revisions from being actually sendable and revolved entirely around royal mistresses of all things.

The self-identified king is going to read this totally wrong, isn't he?

What I meant is: I don't want to work for or with this person, no matter what.

What I probably actually said - albeit unintentionally - is: "I'm totally down with going to bed with the boss, no strings attached." And there are two potential bosses in this story, one of whom I've just complained about lengthily (hence the text) - the other one being the recipient.

I'm going to have to leave my home, family, job and friendships behind and start a new life where nobody knows me, aren't I?

Please tell me it's salvageable.

You think he's going to think you've been thinking he's an imaginary king in your made up scenario? Yeah....I think he's just going to think you're spouting utter nonsense so I wouldn't worry. Sorry op, really don't understand what you're saying at all!

Could you write, word for word, what you sent? Nothing about royal mistresses etc. necessary.

I wrote "Please note that I'm more of a Mme Pompadour than an Anne Boleyn: I don't need to wear the crown when it might cost me my pretty little neck. Everyone knows who I am either way."

That was after the initial version reading something alonng the lines of "like fuck am I going to take a formal title when it also includes formally reporting to [moron]. Everyone knows I'm the one to get on to if they need it sorting out - but I'm not down with meeting the bloody clients to apologise and pretend it was an accident and he's not a moron when we both know he is and X and I have been running this show for years."

I should have sent the swary version.

Erm... I still don't understand what you sent to him and although he's replied, I can't imagine he understood it either. His reply doesn't make sense in terms of making reference to you having said something which possibly crossed a line.

I'm so confused

I would have no idea what you were on about so hopefully he is the same!

My head hurts

WTF are you on about?

Royal mistresses? Whose? Who don't you want to fuck? Who do you want to fuck?

Seriously, if your text was as unbelievably unclear as your OP you have nothing to worry about and can cancel the flight to The End Of The World.

Your boss will have no idea what your text was about.

You could always email him and tell him it's a plot for a novel you intend to self-publish as nobody within their senses would commission a novel from you

We had a lengthy meeting about this today. So, obscure or not, he will get the context.

Also, I fail utterly and completely at metaphors. I should just not ever message anyone when upset ever again. Because I obviously can't be diplomatic, non-suggestive and clear without also being sweary.

I'm a fucking idiot. Just not as much of an idiot as makes-people-resign that this was all about.

Unless using the word fuck in a sentence is in itself suggestive what you wrote seems emotional and OTT about the person you don't like rather than wanting to go to bed with your boss...I'm lost.

Nope. Still makes fuck all sense. So emigration not necessary as he likely won't have know wtf you are talking about either. All I'm getting is that you've got a fragile neck.

Recall it

as nobody within their senses would commission a novel from you

God, I hope not. I fail at text messaging and definitely shouldn't be let loose on anything exceeding a paragraph.

Are you drunk?

And: you can't recall once read. Also: only works on local clients, not mobile.

Unless you were a history buff that Royal mistress analogy may go straight over your head....(Anne was a mistress but lost her head once Queen, Madame Pompadour however practically ran the Court & was Queen in all but name, right? ). It sounds like he got the garbled message tho!

Not drunk. Just very angry. Same basic effect.

Maybe you shouldn't try so hard to be so clever with what you are saying and just say what you mean.

Please note that I'm more of a Mme Pompadour than an Anne Boleyn: I don't need to wear the crown when it might cost me my pretty little neck. Everyone knows who I am either way

If this is exactly what you sent, then you have absolutely nothing to worry about

I’ve always fancied being Anne Boleyn personally. I love the idea of flirting, pretending to be French, wearing really slutty dresses and never putting out.

CSIblonde

That's the one. And, yes, we're both history buffs. Hence the stupid attempt, which I categorically did NOT attempt to send.

*intend ... thanks, autocorrect

I'm surprised but your message actually made sense to me, and I didn't get the 'want to fuck my boss' vibe from it.

But yes, stay away from sending messages when angry

I’ve always fancied being Anne Boleyn personally.

She had her head cut off, though. After being accused of high treason - by the means of fucking her own brother, among other accusations.

I'm not keen.

So re you concerned because MP was doing lots of dirty French shagging and AB was being chaste? And you think now your boss might think you want to become his 18th century mistress?

Genuinely, it’s fine. It’s late on a Friday night for work messages. The message form your boss seems to me to say ‘right. ok. I don’t care. Its Friday night and I refuse to engage with work stuff until Monday.’

Yes but, no but

I don't have the first idea what you are talking about

Perhaps I need some drugs myself

From now on... Short sentences, to the point.

No swearing, metafores, no talking besides the point. No wise/bragging references.

Hope this will make your life and communications will be so much easier 🤣.