... to resign in embarrassmnet and emigrate to Timbuktu? *mortified*

[ShuckThisFitThough]

NC because ... well, technically, I guess I wouldn't have to: I'm going to have to change my name and emigrate anyway after this.

I've accidentally messaged my bloody boss in a way that was ... unintentionally sort of suggestive. Which I totally did notice - roughly about 10 seconds after hitting "send".

What it was actually about: fellow manager being an utter moron who's been the cause of several people resigning in frustration and me categorically refusing to work a role that makes me dependent on that guy because I actually like my job and was planning on keeping it (so long as it allows for me to ignore the moron as much as possible).

How I phrased it: iteratively, from direct, using a lot of NSFW terminology, going towards cleverly chosen metaphors:

When I accidentally hit "send": at the point when the aforementioned metaphors were about 3 revisions from being actually sendable and revolved entirely around royal mistresses of all things.

The self-identified king is going to read this totally wrong, isn't he?

What I meant is: I don't want to work for or with this person, no matter what.

What I probably actually said - albeit unintentionally - is: "I'm totally down with going to bed with the boss, no strings attached." And there are two potential bosses in this story, one of whom I've just complained about lengthily (hence the text) - the other one being the recipient.

I'm going to have to leave my home, family, job and friendships behind and start a new life where nobody knows me, aren't I?

Please tell me it's salvageable.

So you asked your boss if he fancies having a mistress, but he is NOT to cut your head off? Am i on the right track.

Dont book a flight just yet OP, no one has a fucking clue whats going on anyway

If it's any consolation, your message (when you eventually posted it!) made me laugh.
There's no good way to tell your boss you want to be Mme Pompadour. If you're not suggesting you'll have an affair for power; you're suggesting you're happy to manipulate and manage from behind the scenes.
But hopefully it made him laugh too.

I work in a fairly laid back profession and even so, this whole thing would be massively unprofessional...the email, the skirting around a serious issue, the sentiment, the delivery.

It sounds exhausting.

Doubt this will improve your mood op but I somehow sent DSs teacher an email a few months ago which somehow I got mixed up with one I was writing to dp in another window.

She was very nice about it andhas kindly refrained from mentioning it since but no doubt utterly bemused and probably horrified to be informed "Its been an exhausting crappy week. I love you, we can crawl into bed together later and have a big cuddle

DP in the .meantime got a query about school play costumes!!

So glad ds is about to go to year 3 in a different building

Nope, I’m still sticking with being Anne Boleyn. As an aside about a decade ago I used to be in this chat group about the Tudor Court. It was all very interesting until some completely barmy woman joined who insisted that she was Jane Rochford in a previous life. People would be chatting about various theories about things and she’s come in with ‘actually it was Mary Boleyn who told George about Mark Smeaton fingering Anne Boleyn. I remember because we were in the garden and Mary was wearing her red dress that I was jealous of. Hope that clears it up for you all.’ Then she’d get really pissy if anyone dared suggest that wasn’t quite what happened. This thread reminds of that mad, forgotten ghost.

This is one of the funniest threads I have read in a long time. I haven't got a clue what half of it means but I'm laughing away to myself. Glad I'm not reading this in work. 🤣🤣

Use normal every day language. Then no one will get confused.

I think he hit send too soon as well op. I think he meant to say:

I hear you. I always do and understand sweet FA

Honestly it’s fine. Not getting the I want to fuck you vibe from that.

Also, I fail utterly and completely at metaphors

And English, in general.

Bottom that's as good as some of my historical groups where a woman claims to be the reincarnation of a particular king using significant dates in his life as dates she got jobs, got married etc in this life then pm-ing us all with sex dreams about the man who would have been his brother if so

bottomfellout that woman certainly sounds barmy. I've always had a soft spot for Anne Boleyn but if I had to chose which one of Henry VIII's wives to be I would go for Anne of Cleeves, she only had to endure a short time as Henry's wife came out of it with her head, wealth, property and status, lived as an independent woman instead of having to return to her arsehole brother and the English public seemed to quite like her too. All in all I think she fared the best of all of them.

😳🧐

It is hilarious but sounds to me like your boss took it as intended (and not that you wish to be his mistress).
Forget it, enjoy your weekend and don’t send emails when you are angry

He must be used to you not making any sense at all and probably just wrote you it off.

Stop trying to be clever with words and metaphor in a work context. There is diplomacy and there is wasting people's time. Yours falls in the latter context and will greatly irritate me as a manager.

Oh god I am cringing at ‘pretty little neck’! Yikes OP!

Crazy thread.
But I'd def want to be Anne of Cleves. She only had to sleep with the bastard once and he couldn't get it up.

Sorry my last post is a bit of a de-rail to your thread, OP. I think you'll be fine just don't try and over explain and justify your text on Monday, stick to clear concise language.

You sound like hard work. Instead of fucking about revising emails a million times you really should just write a comprehensive and easy to understand email.

I don't even think what you write is that bad.

Professional development coach suggested I should try being more diplomatic and maybe let people read between the lines at times

I'm not sure this is what they meant.

Are you SURE you haven't had a couple of glasses of wine, OP?

I hear you. I always do and understand sweet FA

I rather admire how your boss handled it. Has it occurred to you Shuck that you're someone who needs to be handled?

Tonight is one of those lunatic nights on MN where I have to go to the window and check whether there's a full moon.

I think you need to stay away from texting. This is utter nonsense.

Just leave it till the morning, say you went out after work had a few too many in the sunshine. Blah blah..... and the text got sent before you’d had the chance to check it and who you were sending it to! Bloody sausage fingers, not helped by wine etc....... laugh at yourself and apologise sincerely. You’ll be fine! I know of someone who called the bosses wife a twunt at the Xmas party! Still working for them!!

Mme Pompadour, by the way, died of TB in her early forties - still cared about and fussed over by the king whose queen she never officially was.

Jeez OP, you need to ease up with the history books and the wine 🍷 📚 🤴🏼👸🏻