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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... to resign in embarrassmnet and emigrate to Timbuktu? *mortified*

231 replies

ShuckThisFitThough · 05/07/2019 21:13

NC because ... well, technically, I guess I wouldn't have to: I'm going to have to change my name and emigrate anyway after this.

I've accidentally messaged my bloody boss in a way that was ... unintentionally sort of suggestive. Which I totally did notice - roughly about 10 seconds after hitting "send".

What it was actually about: fellow manager being an utter moron who's been the cause of several people resigning in frustration and me categorically refusing to work a role that makes me dependent on that guy because I actually like my job and was planning on keeping it (so long as it allows for me to ignore the moron as much as possible).

How I phrased it: iteratively, from direct, using a lot of NSFW terminology, going towards cleverly chosen metaphors:

When I accidentally hit "send": at the point when the aforementioned metaphors were about 3 revisions from being actually sendable and revolved entirely around royal mistresses of all things.

The self-identified king is going to read this totally wrong, isn't he?

What I meant is: I don't want to work for or with this person, no matter what.

What I probably actually said - albeit unintentionally - is: "I'm totally down with going to bed with the boss, no strings attached." And there are two potential bosses in this story, one of whom I've just complained about lengthily (hence the text) - the other one being the recipient.

I'm going to have to leave my home, family, job and friendships behind and start a new life where nobody knows me, aren't I?

Please tell me it's salvageable. Shock

OP posts:
MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 05/07/2019 22:00

Maybe you shouldn't try so hard to be so clever with what you are saying and just say what you mean

This.

You've posted at least three different versions of your email at this point and none of them make much sense. Hopefully he'll be too confused to believe with any degree of certainty that there's anything sexual going on.

Snowy81 · 05/07/2019 22:00

What was the text you actually sentiment ? Word for word? Not all the metaphor crap (because this is the most baffling thread I’ve read to be fair).

bottomfellout · 05/07/2019 22:00

Well, if I had been AB I either wouldn’t have married HVIII or I would have stopped being such a stroppy mare once we were married. I would have stayed as Anne Avec Tete.

deste · 05/07/2019 22:02

Just blame predictive text.

bigKiteFlying · 05/07/2019 22:03

I'm surprised but your message actually made sense to me, and I didn't get the 'want to fuck my boss' vibe from it.

I'm the same - though I'd also suggest stop texting and e-mailing and deal with it in the meeting Monday.

nocoolnamesleft · 05/07/2019 22:05

Okay, the direct quote makes a bit of sense. You don't need to aspire to the title of queen, happy just to be the power behind the throne, and everyone knows it. Bit obscure, but hardly offering to have sex.

Original poster
ShuckThisFitThough · 05/07/2019 22:06

Maybe you shouldn't try so hard to be so clever with what you are saying and just say what you mean.

Yup. Arguably sound advice.

Lesson learned: diplomacy is not my forte. I should just stick to my usual "fuck this shit, though, I'm not doing this". Done this for years and still somehow did very well professionally.

Professional development coach suggested I should try being more diplomatic and maybe let people read between the lines at times.

Well, that went well ... Grin

OP posts:
LadyOfTheCanyon · 05/07/2019 22:06

Oh. Sounds like you're trying to be the Cool Girl. Please don't. Communications like this just lead to a company wide conviction that you're a try hard.
Dear Goddess- just say what you mean and be done!

Songsofexperience · 05/07/2019 22:08

In any case, quite flattering to him!

bigKiteFlying · 05/07/2019 22:09

if I had been AB I either wouldn’t have married HVIII

TBF she wanted to marry Lord Henry Percy - till Henry VIII made Wolsey mess that up for her. Then it was misstress like her sister or hold out for marraige after that.

LauderSyme · 05/07/2019 22:10

I’ve always fancied being Anne Boleyn personally

She had her head cut off, though

Yes, I too thought this was a rather major flaw in the argument.

I would have stopped being such a stroppy mare once we were married

Victim-blamer! Henry VIII was not a nice man.

SouthernComforts · 05/07/2019 22:10

Nope, none the wiser. Confused

Bluerussian · 05/07/2019 22:11

What is NSFW?
It's alright, I googled - Not Safe for Work.

You could emigrate.

I'm glad not to be at work any more. If someone had a serious problem with a colleague, they would go to their manager and say something along the lines of:

"I am finding X quite difficult to work with. There are some things which he/she does on a regular basis which go against protocol. I have tried to raise these issues with him/her but she/he appears not to grasp the problems. I'm sorry to bring this to you but it's really difficult. What can I do and will you help me?"

Manager replies:

"Thank you for bringing this to my attention. You have been handling the situation very well but now it is time for my input. Leave it with me and I'll deal with all the issues you have raised. You have my full support".

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 05/07/2019 22:11

After 9 on a Friday?
‘I was very very drunk’ is the only alibi

IDontDrinkTea · 05/07/2019 22:12

Okay now I’ve read what you actually sent I think you can cancel your flights, you don’t need to emigrate. I also think you’re mad as a box of frogs though, sorry!

Original poster
ShuckThisFitThough · 05/07/2019 22:13

But Mary Boleyn lived and has living relatives.

On balance she did a lot better, surely.

Mme Pompadour, by the way, died of TB in her early forties - still cared about and fussed over by the king whose queen she never officially was. Again: seems quite a lot less horrifying than having your head cut off for supposed high treason.

OP posts:
Paddingtonthebear · 05/07/2019 22:13

God what are you talking about Confused

saynotoselfid · 05/07/2019 22:14

I wish people would just say what they mean. The world would be a better place.

VladmirsPoutine · 05/07/2019 22:15

You appear to be very bad with words even from your posts here let alone in a professional capacity Confused

Loveislandfan · 05/07/2019 22:16

Clearly you think you are someone but I can almost guarantee you won’t be now he’s read that message.

Holy shit.

altiara · 05/07/2019 22:16

OP- What time did you send it? Working time or could’ve been pissed time?

Everyone else- Is it easier to understand if you’ve not been drinking? I don’t understand any of it apart from the boss sounded ok.

Jamhandprints · 05/07/2019 22:16

It's fine, he probably won't know or care what you're talking about. He definitely won't read it as a come on...most people don't find obscure references to history seductive.

Jemima232 · 05/07/2019 22:17

Well, this has livened up my last evening in Beauly.

bigKiteFlying · 05/07/2019 22:18

I agree Mary Boleyn did well in the end in stuff that matters - even marrying a man of her choosing in the end not her families choice.

But at the time Ann was being pursued Mary's experince of being Henry VIII mistress didn't look like a great outcome.

Wherearemycrayons · 05/07/2019 22:20

I’ve still got no idea so I reckon he’d be baffled

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