To ask why some women don't attempt breastfeeding?

[Lottle]

Just being nosy. Perhaps too nosy....

Just wondered why some mums don't give breastfeeding a try. I totally get why people may not do it for long, just curious as to why some don't try at all.

One friend happened to mention (I didn't ask) "it wasn't for me" but I wasn't sure what that meant but of course I didn't probe, so probing you lot instead. Don't know if it's too cheeky to ask though!

Line a group of people up and do some tests on them. I bet there is no statistical difference between those who were breastfed and those who were not. 1 out of 2 people will get cancer and 1 out of 7 women will get breast cancer. I know women who were breastfed to get cancer and I know people that have smoked all of their lives not die from lung cancer.

All I know is I tried breastfeeding and it got to the stage where I was ignoring the crying baby as mentally and physically I couldn’t cope anymore with the pain that travelled from my toes right up my body every time I breast fed.

it doesn’t matter what us women do in life we get critiqued. We carry a life for 9 months that is special enough without the constant bashing afterwards.

@Zbag so you could have actually posted answering that you ff because of reasons beyond your control and would have bf if you could etc which would have been an interesting addition to the debate but instead you chose to post a nasty dig at ff mothers? What was the point?

And I do think those who push breastfeeding at all costs do not help at all. And that bloody film with the baby crawling up and latching on easily should be banned, unless it is accompanied by advice about some of the difficulties some mothers experience.
I accept that for some mothers breastfeeding may be easy, but for some it is very difficult.

In reply to Calculate this: breastfeeding is free though (discounting pumps, feeding tops and feeding consultants if you have them) and therefore more accesible to all, whereas buying way more expensive food on an ongoing basis from farmer's markets is not. Having said that it's not all or nothing. People afford the best food they can. Maybe more people could give mixed feeding a go?

I have already clearly stated that i don't include medical reasons

Okay... But what if it just makes me very very uncomfortable, I absolutely hate it and it affects my mental health? Is it okay if I don't do it then? Because this is how I felt about trying, I really really did not want to, it would have made me miserable having to force myself, I knew straight away it was not something I wanted to do. You don't have to understand that but we're all different.

Surely in the grand scheme of things it's actually far better for mother to be healthy and happy.

@AquarianSquirrel Yes more could give mixed feeding a go. But as I posted upthread until MN I did not even know this was possible. I was told and read that even one bottle could lead to breastfeeding failing.

Babies could really thrive with mixed feeding, but people are literally told not to do it

Aquarian, so the best nutrition matters utmost and shame on any mother's who don't agree...until you have to pay for it?

If you're going to shame other mother's for not BF because 'why would you not want to provide the best for your child?' then I'd expect you to be continuing that as they grew up and buying food like I mentioned. Not throwing in some chicken nuggets and chips from Tesco but slamming other mums on the internet for FF.

There's a lot of children in my family. I couldn't tell you a single difference between the ones who were BF or FF.

YABU because it's none of your business.

Yes completely agree that mixed feeding needs so much more exposure! I thought as soon as you gave formula that was it with eldest. With my youngest, dp always did at least one formula night feed from birth and thanks to that we’re still feeding into toddlerhood. No way would I have continued if I had to do every night feed.

Obviously fed is best but I think there’s lots of woman who would like to breastfeed but don’t want to do everything alone, more knowledge around Mixed feeding could well help them.

I struggled to feed my first child, then successfully bf my second for 18 months. By the time I had a 3rd and 4th, it just wasnt viable. I had a 5 year old, a 3 year old, a 1 year old and a newborn. It was waaaaaay too demanding a process at that time.

@Zbag you could have contributed that information in a pleasant way but instead you decided to come on here all guns blazing and try to make other mothers feel bad? Nice.

'It says nothing about me other than im a bit sarcastic.'

And the rest

Ugh

Re mixed feeding bra - everyone I know has had this pushed to them and every single time it’s been trying it has depleted the mother’s milk because of the delicate balance of supply and demand.

I was basically forced to try with my first DC 23yrs ago in hospital.I had flatly stated in my notes i did not wish to try BF my choice. This evil bitch of a midwife and she was an evil bully basically refused to give me a bottle for DC and said i had to try , she reduced me to tears .My Dc did not get fed for hrs until she went off shift and another midwife got me a bottle .Now i am older and wiser like hell would get away with it .Needless to say i didn't try with my following two DC's fully because of that experience.

everyone I know has had this pushed to them and every single time it’s been trying it has depleted the mother’s milk because of the delicate balance of supply and demand

I’ve been mixed feeding DC3 for 6 months now. It’s going really well, best of both worlds for me. I do 3 breast feeds and 2 bottle feeds a day. We started mixed feeding on day 3.

'It says nothing about me other than im a bit sarcastic.'

And the rest

Ugh

I really have got your knickers in a twist haven't I 🤣

Zbag - what do you get out of being so unpleasant towards people that you don’t even know?

*Okay... But what if it just makes me very very uncomfortable, I absolutely hate it and it affects my mental health? Is it okay if I don't do it then? Because this is how I felt about trying, I really really did not want to, it would have made me miserable having to force myself, I knew straight away it was not something I wanted to do. You don't have to understand that but we're all different.

Surely in the grand scheme of things it's actually far better for mother to be healthyandhappy*

Again, if it is affecting your mental health, it is a medical issue.

Oh Bag bless you

You are like a fairground attraction

Because it's their choice and none of your business

The irony of these threads over and over never continues to get lost on me.

A breastfeeding thread on a parenting website, is what ultimately leads to mothers feeling judged.

"I never felt judged until I came in mn and realised everyone was judging me..."

Well quite. Judgement can't affect you unless you know about it. So wouldn't it make sense to pull these continuing bullshit threads that ask "open to interpretation" questions that lead to women feeling judged almost 100% of the time?

A simple google of "why don't some women breastfeed?" would have delivered ALL the answers you needed, without causing the fucking by fight it always does.

Threads like these cause resentment, self loathing, lack of confidence. When outside in reality nobody actually gives a shit how or why a baby is fed the way that they're fed...