To ask why some women don't attempt breastfeeding?

[Lottle]

Just being nosy. Perhaps too nosy....

Just wondered why some mums don't give breastfeeding a try. I totally get why people may not do it for long, just curious as to why some don't try at all.

One friend happened to mention (I didn't ask) "it wasn't for me" but I wasn't sure what that meant but of course I didn't probe, so probing you lot instead. Don't know if it's too cheeky to ask though!

@swingofthings I didn't post on here for my reasons to be criticised. I posted to answer the question that the OP asked and, judging by some posts, many others would like to ask.

'No, i joined the thread to answer the OP. I answered and gave my opinion. Why is that hard to grasp?'

But

Zebag

Surely you have grasped this thread is aimed at NON Bf'ers?

Oh Dear

Zbag
How you feed your baby is such a small part of being a parent. My DC are a lot older now and it is clear that parenting is a constant juggling act between your own interests; your child’s interests; what is good for your child; what makes them happy etc.

To blithely plop on the thread that mother’s that ff don’t have their DC’s best interests at heart is simplistic at best.

mothers ignore the rogue apostrophe

I think for those who say they simply didn’t want to bf it is probably hard to expand on that. You cannot always explain why you feel a certain way.

I never managed to establish bf. With ds3 I chose to give up trying after a couple of days, I could feel the weight of it on me and once I decided to switch I felt so much relief and was able to enjoy my baby instead of dreading each feed and feeling stressed and anxious when I was also in a lot of pain and feeling vulnerable after a difficult birth which took months to recover from.

I always find it interesting when people talk about how much faff bottle feeding is. It probably took me about 20 minutes a day to wash, sterilise and make up bottles. Going out was easy(sterile bottles and readymade milk). It really isn’t as difficult or time consuming as people seem to think. Getting up in the night and grabbing a bottle from the fridge took around a minute or so and that duty could also be shared.

I breastfed, then switched almost entirely to formula at around 5 weeks with maybe one or two breastfeeds a day because I found it so hard. However, baby didn't react well to formula and it made his already awful reflux much worse, so I ended up relactating which was a massive faff. He's now EBF and I plan on continuing for as long as we're both happy with it. But I can still remember being DESPERATE to stop in the early days.

I think it would help if women were given more honest advice about what it's like to breastfeed a newborn baby. I was told if it hurts then you're doing it wrong, it shouldn't hurt. I think that's untrue as everyone I know said it hurt at least at first. I felt like I must be getting it terribly wrong because despite doing my best to follow the varied, often conflicting advice I was given, it still hurt. I feel like if I had been told the truth about it, I might have persevered at least knowing what I was going through was normal. Or not persevered, because no one has to breastfeed if they don't want to. But I personally felt I was given a rose-tinted view of what it would be like, had unrealistic expectations and this actually set me up to struggle.

No, i joined the thread to answer the OP. I answered and gave my opinion. Why is that hard to grasp? so you saw a thread titled "To ask why some women don't attempt breastfeeding?" and rather than thinking "oh that doesn't apply to me as I did attempt and succeed at breastfeeding" and scroll on by you decided to come on to the thread and be nasty about mothers that aren't so perfect as yourself?

The clearest indicator for baby’s outcomes are maternal education and family income

Completely off topic but I’m interested to know more about this laurie ?
And preferably before the thread gets pulled

@Strokethefurrywall Exactly what you said! Ffs.

@Zbag why did you join the thread to 'answer the OP' when you clearly can't answer it because you appear to have successfully breasted and therefore find yourself somehow parentally superior?

Fed is 100% best regardless of whether it is bf or ff. There are many more important decisions you make as a parent so it’s a none issue.

@LettuceP, we agree, I don't think there's anything wrong asking, nothing wrong responding honestly, pity some saw it as an opportunity to criticise.

zbag what medical issues do you deem worthy??

My ds was lactose intolerant. I could have cut all lactose out of my diet but chose not to. He got lactose free milk instead. He also got a dad who could feed him too which worked well for all of us.

I have my child's best interests at heart and that includes us being a happy family unit.

Being FF has not had a negative impact at all. Fed is absolutely best.

I attempted breastfeeding. I succeeded at breastfeeding. Three months on and I'm hating every minute of it. From the cluster feeding in the evenings to the having a small being stuck to me 24 hours a day especially in this heat to the fact that I don't have time to feed myself properly (on my own for most of the time). Plus the anxiety of whether my baby is being fed enough by me. Yes, breast is best but surely a mother's sanity and the well being of both herself and her baby/babies are far more important. Personally I wish I had gone the formula route from the start.

@swingofthings aah I see, sorry I think I misunderstood you.

@Zbag awfully judgemental of you!

Absolutely loving all the angry, defensive comments. And those assuming that I've never formula fed a baby.

@Zbag it's funny isn't it, the fact that you're being so closed minded that you're actually coming across as a tit?

'Absolutely loving all the angry, defensive comments.'

Says much about you Bag

I do think some of the benefits touted of breastfeeding simply are not true for all mothers breastfeeding. For example I have read so much about how breastfeeding helps mothers to bond with their baby and feel closer to them. That may be true if breastfeeding is relatively okay for you. But for women in pain, dreading the next feed, feeling touched out, struggling with memories of sexual abuse - I suspect breastfeeding is more likely to make it harder to bond with their baby.

There are marginal health benefits to breastfeeding. It slightly decreases the mothers risk of certain cancers, and slightly decreases the risk of things such as diarrhoea in babies. But the benefits are so small that I think what should be prioritised is what will make the mother happiest to do and least stressed. If doing dream breastfeeding makes your life easier, breastfeed. If formula feeding and getting dad to do night feeds makes things easier, formula feed.

I do think there should be more information about combination feeding. Until MN I did not know this was even possible. What I had read and heard instead were dire warnings that even one bottle could ruin your chance of breastfeeding.

I hate the term ‘fed is best’
Feeding your baby is a minimum!

OP, YAWN THE FUCK ON.

Well come on then @Zbag, answer the OP and tell us why you chose to ff your baby from birth?

Fed is Best is a reaction to mothers being made to feel guilty for formula feeding.

For example I have read so much about how breastfeeding helps mothers to bond with their baby and feel closer to them. That may be true if breastfeeding is relatively okay for you. But for women in pain, dreading the next feed, feeling touched out, struggling with memories of sexual abuse - I suspect breastfeeding is more likely to make it harder to bond with their baby

I agree with this. I read an attachment parenting article once that made a good point about this - you can breastfeed your baby robotically - and you can bottle feed them in an engaged way, looking into their eyes etc.