To text DS dad and tell him I can’t feed him this month?

[Iamnotagoddess]

I can, obviously, feed him but that’s what he does to me.

“I can only afford X this month rather than the agreed amount as I have no money”

This is after he agreed to go halves on DS train pass for college.

I would rather he had said no at the outset and DS could have gone to the closer college.

I am left paying what he doesn’t and it really pisses me off

The reason I am the one who doesn’t get paid is because I have no option other than to accept it

Yanbu. He is an irresponsible dick doing that.
Your D'S will know his Dad is a dick, his DM has his back, I know it doesn't help financially.

I am no longer in any financial hardship but am by no means rich. DS dad doesn’t have a clue about my finances though.

It’s the assumption I can pull extra money out of my arse with absolutely no notice which really fucks me off.

Any reason why you aren't going through CMS?

Yeah, because he’s self employed.

So go through CMS then.

I would get a pittance through the CMS as he is self employed, and the CMS wouldn’t make him honour an agreement to go halves on a train fare for our son.

I’d get ds to ask him for it.

Do people who suggest the CMS realise how utterly shit they are (esp when the NRP is self employed?

Didn't you post this a couple of months ago?. There is only 2 weeks left at college now so you have probably already got his train pass, but you need to look at what you are going to do in Sept

I have to pay for it monthly.

I have read you can insist they look at the info he gave to the tax man... Who looks at all bank statements etc. More power than cms.

Well now I know he is self employed. I understand.

@Whathappenedtooursummer

Yeah - I reported my other ex to the tax man as he is also self employed and absolutely nothing happened.

Only if you want him saying 'he can move in with me, then'.

I know there is nothing I can do I am just having a moan.

It really astounds me tbh that the bill you don’t pay is your child’s upkeep

@MitziK

There is no way he would say that

Is he paying you money every month other than the train fare. In your last post about this it was just the train fare he couldn't afford.?

It should be illegal not to pay for the upkeep of your kids. If you didn’t feed him you’d go to prison for neglect, how is this different?

I didn’t post about this before?

And what difference does it make? He’s not paying me what he has agreed to pay me.

I also agreed to pay the other half I am not going to him every month saying “I can’t afford what we agreed you will have to pay my share” am I?

Keep a tally and say 'Ok, it makes it difficult to me, but we'll put it in the tab. £XX owed to me to date'

For me not to me!

It should be illegal not to pay for the upkeep of your kids. If you didn’t feed him you’d go to prison for neglect, how is this different?

This.

have read you can insist they look at the info he gave to the tax man... Who looks at all bank statements etc. More power than cms.

This assumes that people are paying tax on all their earnings.

He said in his text “I owe you X” but what’s the bloody point? I have to pay it this month not next month.

He’s basically borrowing money from me without asking me.