To text DS dad and tell him I can’t feed him this month?

[Iamnotagoddess]

I can, obviously, feed him but that’s what he does to me.

“I can only afford X this month rather than the agreed amount as I have no money”

This is after he agreed to go halves on DS train pass for college.

I would rather he had said no at the outset and DS could have gone to the closer college.

I am left paying what he doesn’t and it really pisses me off

DS thinks the sun shines out of his Dad's arse. As frustrating as it is, I hate the idea of him one day finding out that he's a dick. Maybe he won't though.

He has had several perfectly adequate jobs but gave them up to become self employed.

It’s clearly not working out so go and get a bloody job. He has kids with his wife I am sure that they are getting fed.

Why would you not get exes parents involved? Surely they care about their grandchild and would care that their son is neglecting him?

I think DS dad is a dick for discussing money with him.

I will never discuss money (between his father and I) with DS and apart from that DS has a great relationship his dad, so I dunno if DS will ever think “hmm my dad reneged on his responsibility to me quite a lot”.

@itsbetterthanabox

Because DS dad is a grown adult and I don’t need to “tell” on him to his parents or get them to sort out his debts.

Are you the same poster who’s exes partner had an illness and requires care and who’s ex had to reduce payments because they were not working, after having promised you half towards a bus pass?

No - but what if I was?

I am not that person but I question why you are hunting down someone who may have name changed and why someone wouldn’t be allowed to complain on Mumsnet about the same thing twice.

Please, please explain the reasoning.

Why are you being such absolute dicks?

Asking if you have posted this before as it is an identical problem is not hunting down anybody. Neither is it being an absolute dick. It is asking a question.

Why would you want to “trigger” ie: upset someone?

Even if not self employed if the one meant to pay doesn't respond to any CMS contact and they set up collect and pay it takes at least 8 months.
I am currently on month 7, told I will get my first payment end Aug. Started claim in Jan.

Yeah my other ex (who I have two DC with) did that too, halved his maintenance the day after and I knew him and his wife would have been thrilled

My dad talked me into leaving school at 16 so he could stop his maintenance for me. He paid £80 a month for 3 kids, and saving that extra £20 odd pound a month was more important to him than my educational. Meanwhile he had a brand new car every year and a fucking glider!

Unsurprisingly I have nothing to do with him now, I haven’t spoken to him in about 20 years and he thinks he’s the victim.