To think it's because I'm black?

[notamumsymum]

Walked to co op this morning as OH has taken my car today. So me DD and DS went to pick up some fruit & veg for today.
I don't normally shop at co op I normally go to Asda or Tesco sometimes M&S.

Anyhow one of the staff in there followed me around the whole time then proceeded to wait for me at the door. I was so frustrated at this point I said I'm not stealing anything! She said well we have to be sure. Then I thought let me go back in and see if she is still waiting by the door and shock she was gone.

Aibu and just paranoid? Or am I allowed to be this angry!

WTF was the biscuit for? Complete ignoramus

I would imagine trying to shut the OP down but not intelligent enough to think of a proper response.

That was me QUOTING that horrific racist post by the way!

if could be racist, or absolutely not. So what the solution here, what would the posters be happy with?
A security guard is only allowed to follow someone of the same gender and colour as his own?

I have been followed in a shop wearing my work suit, DH has been stopped at the door because he bought nappies - and not just once.
You can read it at racism, or just as people doing their job. Not everything is about racism just because the person involved is black, or asian.

Who knows, OP. I was once followed by a pervert all the way round the pants aisle in TK Maxx and fled in terror without buying owt. Turned out he was the store detective. Ewww. Sympathies, I hope it wasn't racism, but it's not nice anyway.

@notamumsymum this was Co-Op? I don’t know if it’s something to do with the way they train their security staff but I have also had an unpleasant experience with a very over-vigilant security guard at my local co-op. Twice. I’m white.

YANBU

It could be race but I don’t like it’s automatically assumed it’s race.. I know that’s easy for me to say because I’m white, however when I used to work in retail and I watched people I cared more about how they were presented then what colour they were.. something they were white, sometimes they had darker skin.. and a lot of times the ones who stole were mothers! Using their prams.

Well, you are subjected to this as a white teenager, too, and I saw someone upthread saying that was ‘understandable, because teens were ‘always a bit more likely to shoplift’. Awful to make these assumptions about anyone on the basis of appearance. Sorry it happened to you, OP, and you WNBU to complain.

You're not being unreasonable. They can't be profiling people like that.

Had a similar experience getting followed around co-op by security yesterday, too!

But in our case they were following my bf (wearing a partway unzipped tracksuit, his chains and rings). so I guess they decided he was too much of a chav for coop and must be thieving! Happens a lot! My friend also always gets followed cos he has long hair and a dog so people think he's homeless.

Security guards really do show up a lot of prejudices!

I'd definitely complain.

well we have to be sure
If they still don't respond to your tweet, write to head office.

No you're not being paranoid
Yes it's a 100% because you're black
They profile black people. It's fucked up, it's annoying when it happens to you almost on a daily basis but you can't let these things get to you. We have to deal with so much that at some point, you need to filter some things, for your own sanity.

I used to be triggered by this too. I remember one instance when I was going to my firm's annual convention. I was wearing visibly expensive clothes, shoes and holding a Chanel bag. I was pissed because I couldn't find my favourite earrings. I decided to buy something on my way there. I stopped in a C&A. There were like 5 or 6 women there, roaming the place, some of them holding items in their hands. I went to the "jewellery" section and started picking articles when a middle aged (white) lady jumped on me, snatched everything out of my hands and told me she would keep everything at the cashier desk "for me". When I asked why she did this, she said it was the "store's policy". I was the only black person in there and the only one they did this too. I went berserk. I told them that I was holding a 3000£ bag so why in the world would I be trying to steal 30£ worth of junk ?

The store manager came out and tried to apologise without apologising. I left and never stepped a foot in this store again.

Where I go grocery shopping, they have this thing were you have to show your empty bags to the cashier before packing your stuff.
In reality, when the store is full, nobody does it and no cashier asks for it except...for me. On multiple occasions, I would be in a line, with up to 10 people before me, no bag checking. The minute I'm up, "please, can you show me your bag" ?
I can't do this every time so I ignore it and try to focus on really important things.

Also in my local Tesco I have actually seen the security guard getting in multiple arguments because he very blatently follows random black customers round the shop. How is that acceptable!!

I haven’t read the whole thread but I was in Superdrug once and was watched by three separate girls who worked there as I was trying on foundation.

I ended up leaving I was so uncomfortable. I’m white btw I’m just making the point some stores are like this.

I think it is entirely possible to be because of race.
I could give you many, many examples of things that have happened to members of my racially mixed family and these incidents are definitely increasing because of the current political climate.
I’m so sorry notamumsymum. Please believe that a lot of people in this country are shamed by incidents like this.

Lazyjane76

Please don't post people's identities on anonymous forums!!!!!!

notamumsymum
it is racist, typical MMner will try to water it down but at that point you were being followed around it was because you are black, plain and simple

Can you ask people you know who do shop there is this happens to them too? It might give you an idea of the likelihood of it being targeted at you because of your race. I suspect that you are right though, and it was. I'm so sorry that this is something that you still have to deal with.
It's easy for people who don't have to think about it to assume that it doesn't happen (I'm white and I honestly can't imagine how it must feel to even have to think about this kind of daily discrimination). But just because it makes people feel uncomfortable, that doesn't mean it doesn't happen every day. It's comforting to think that we have evolved past this kind of thing in the UK, but it's also wrong, unfortunately.

I think it was quite possibly racist. I was blatantly followed around a shop by security the other day, and I think it's because of how I was dressed. I laughed, because he was not subtle. Not racially motivated in my case, but due to a preconception based on looks. You could write to head office to describe your experience and ask about their equality and diversity training?

I'm white and get followed all the time but that's because of other prejudices (social class profiling). I don't for one second think that my experience is the same as a black persons, but it really does piss me off. When I'm dressed in trainers and trackies I get treated completely differently than in smart casual. But i can wear different clothes. You can't "wear" different skin.

OP it was most likely racial profiling. Happens daily don't let it get you down which is easier said than done. Saddest thing is the lack of support from others with comments like ' I hate when people immediate site race as a reason' or the dreaded '
'Don't use the race card' and the worse one for me is 'I don't see colour' I wish people could stand up and call out racism like they do for other human rights.

SolsticeBabyMaybe
I’ve reported my post, I did check the OPs TF firstly but point taken

I'm usually followed when I have a pushchair with me. I think a lot of shops have that policy, but probably are not going to openly say that. IMO what you experienced in this case was probably related to the buggy and not race. Not nice irrespective of the reason though!

That's awful. You definitely should complain.

The only time I have been followed around shops has been in North Wales. I just walk out without buying anything