To think it's because I'm black?

[notamumsymum]

Walked to co op this morning as OH has taken my car today. So me DD and DS went to pick up some fruit & veg for today.
I don't normally shop at co op I normally go to Asda or Tesco sometimes M&S.

Anyhow one of the staff in there followed me around the whole time then proceeded to wait for me at the door. I was so frustrated at this point I said I'm not stealing anything! She said well we have to be sure. Then I thought let me go back in and see if she is still waiting by the door and shock she was gone.

Aibu and just paranoid? Or am I allowed to be this angry!

I would complain if I were you based on the fact she said “we have to be sure don’t we” which proves she was following you about based on no evidence of you acting strangely in store. TBH having worked in retail for years many years ago, you could generally tell shoplifters a mile off, If she genuinely thought you were a shoplifter she would have known as you left that you’d not taken anything so when challenged should have just said a nicety rather than that arsey comment.

I must look sweet and innocent then as I never get followed anywhere (white middle aged bore that I am).

I'm usually the first to try and think the best of people, but sadly in this case I do think it was racism. I'm sorry that happened to you.

Yes it probably is, sadly.

OP if you'd like us to help put pressure on Co-op, you could link the tweet here and we could add our support.

It'll show them see people are taking notice and care about this.

I am so sorry that happened to you, no wonder you are upset. Sadly I think you are right and have seen it happen in shops before. I think the response you got clearly outlined that it was based on the fact you are black so if you feel you can deal with whatever crap you might get back I would complain.

I hope you are OK.

It could be because of race, or not. I've been followed around in a shop. The following around feels intimidating, I'd rather that they just checked my stuff tbh. And I'm blue eyed, blond streaks in my hair and white.

It has happened to me before and I’m not black. I was walking around the local morrisons with my young DC in tow, didn’t think my behaviour was in any way suspicious but noticed the guard kept ‘stealthily’ following us around (not so stealthy, I bloody noticed!). He was then at the main entrance glaring at me, I thought he was going to pull me over but he obviously had no evidence because I’d done fuck all wrong...

I personally think they need to find something to pass the time and they just select random customers to pick on.

I'm white. I get this all the time. I've never stolen a thing in my life! Every shop I go in I get followed.

You have no proof it's because you are black. They might do this to anyone.

What were you wearing? This is relevant.

It was not a mega expensive clothes shop, but t-shifts were around £100

We live in different worlds.

Likely due to being black unfortunately but likely as well due to the pram.

I worked for a major retailer and when I did my security training they said always to be aware of prams. They are very easy to hide goods in and are used as an excuse if they are stopped after they have left the store e.g. "Dc must have grabbed the item, I didn't know it was there" type comment

OP

It might be race, it might be class, it might be because you had a buggy.

I have complained over the fact the security guard in a supermarket followed me everytime I went in there. It was obvious, as when my partner went in, he didn't get the same treatment.

I got the generic I am sorry you were upset, so in the end I did the only thing I could do and stopped going there and sent my partner instead

I was followed all around the supermarket by a black security guard the other day (I'm white). He was literally two steps behind em the whole way and staring really obviously at my basket as I put in gin and an electric toothbrush as well as biscuits and fruit and cheese.

It's very annoying OP!

I love the way a load of white people on here are denying that it's happening.

Def. challenge it OP, good luck!

I'm sorry to say that it probably was due to your colour. I've seen them following rough looking/acting white people who are known or suspected (for good reason) shoplifters and I think it's awful that you have been lumped in with that sort just because of colour.

The denial is worrying

Being made to feel so uncomfortable whilst shopping, whatever your creed, race or colour is unacceptable. Maybe you haven't yet had a response because they're checking CCTV or whatever.

anna always the same on here whenever race is brought up.

It’s possibly about racism, but not just because you’re black. DH is white but is from Eastern Europe, the racism is far, far more overt and open - not sure if it’s just the usual reaction to ‘foreign’ that brits have, or if they think it’s ok because he’s white..dunno, it’s virtually an everyday thing if we’re out and about.

And btw, just because YOU find a surname difficult to pronounce it’s not a fucking joke. Get over yourself, UK.

Yes racial profiling is a thing. I'm sorry this happened OP, also sorry that you are getting some downright head in the clouds denial-laden responses but this is MN and as others have already said there is a blindness to the casual everyday racism some have to endure.

The cheeky mare. I am unsure if it was because you're black, it is possible it was, she is an ignorant racist.
I'd be very pissed off and complain to the store head office.

I'd complain, ESPECIALLY because of how she responded to you!

@notamumsymum
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I registered to say that when this thread was 3 pages long and already blithely racist idiots were telling you not to ‘play the race card’ ffs. I’m white and the racism I see on - the unaware sort, the ‘well i’ve never seen it’ (DURRR) sort - angers me. It must be intolerable for you and other black and minority ethic people.