To think it's because I'm black?

[notamumsymum]

Walked to co op this morning as OH has taken my car today. So me DD and DS went to pick up some fruit & veg for today.
I don't normally shop at co op I normally go to Asda or Tesco sometimes M&S.

Anyhow one of the staff in there followed me around the whole time then proceeded to wait for me at the door. I was so frustrated at this point I said I'm not stealing anything! She said well we have to be sure. Then I thought let me go back in and see if she is still waiting by the door and shock she was gone.

Aibu and just paranoid? Or am I allowed to be this angry!

did someone really say that racism doesn't kill?

Racism doesn't kill, the violence does. Obviously the reason behind the violence can be racism.

I think you need to read some books and educate yourself.

I think you need to learn to read and understand English.

What cause the violence might be racism but it is the violence which kills.

I fully expect people to deliberately misinterpret what I'm trying to say and take it out of context. It was in reply to a specific statement.

We'll never know. Perhaps it is store policy to follow every 25th person who came in??? Or perhaps it was pushchair related? Perhaps it was racism. Ask for the coop policy- but they can't NOT follow black people.
I once had the hand on my shoulder as I left a coop supermarket- but they had made a mistake and my receipt proved it. My sister was blatantly followed round Waitrose- perhaps she matched the description of a known shoplifter?
We can't know unless you find out what the Coop policy is, whether it is legal and ethical; and whether it was being used correctly.

@notamumsymum

First of all, I want to apologise for what you experienced. Even though it was not my fault, but I do feel your pain, and no human being should experience this.

I am a white woman and my husband is black and since we got married, I notice this type of thing all the time. I am not sure if its direct racism (like the person following you was aware of their racism or if they subconsciously treated you different).

Things like this happen every day in the UK and other countries where you experience different reactions or experiences in situations because your not white. Most white people do not notice that this even goes on. My husband has been followed around shops, once we were in New Look and a security guard followed him. Other times when I have been on my own I notice that when Asian people leave Tesco, if the door alarms start going off, its an automatic let me check your receipt, but if this happens to me or any other white person they would never bat an eyelid and let me go without even realising the door went off.

Other times my husband has been subjected to racism on the bus by bus drivers and the worst is that airports where you are scrutinised. I know there are situations where things happen, and its nothing to do with your race and I also realise that white people are subjected to these things as well at times, but I have never been watched in a supermarket, stopped at an airport or treated poorly on a bus.

It has only been since we got married. I noticed all these things. We will be in public and employees in restaurants or passers-by on the street will be looking at us with such rage and anger for merely being together as if two people from different races being a couple is a crime.

Again, I am sorry you have had to experience this. I would call them on out on it and ask to speak to the manager next time and say that you did not appreciate being treated differently based on your race. I bet there were white people in the store and they were most likely not following them.

I went to not-my-usual-branch of Waitrose (we live in Waitroseland, right by their HQ). I went straight to the booze department and put 12 bottles of Pimms in my trolley (for an event, it was on offer). Then went to get the rest of my shopping. Definitely the security man was 'keeping an eye' on me.

Not black, not young. He was just doing his job

Definitely the security man was 'keeping an eye' on me.

Not black, not young. He was just doing his job

...and this is relevant to the OP because...

I think people do stereotype, often subconsciously. When my dd was at senior school she said every time she and her friends went into the co-op in their school uniforms a pre recorded message would come over the tanoy saying something along the lines of " we have security measures in place against shoplifters. "
I've been in the same shop many times and can't say it's ever been played whilst I've been inside.
I think it must be dreadful for the opportunity to be on the receiving end of this.

Oh come on Eustace. My dd spent two years at a supposedly elite cofe school. It had become so unboundaried after the excellent former head left, that one half of the school was stealing from the co-op around the corner all the time. I can't blame shops like the co-op for those sorts of announcements.

People just need to learn the terms in current use that are offensive and avoid them - be kind is always my advice to my children.That tends to get you a longn way in life. I am reading a book writing about 1930 at the moment about life int he 1870s to 1890s in England. The lady (a teacher) who wrote it was lucky enough to get a trip to a conference in the USA and saw non whites for the first time I think or at least first time working in hotels. She used the word "negro" which in the 1930s presumably was the word to use. Language changes over time and it is a good idea if we all try to keep track of it although it can be a bit difficult for people as obviously some don't use social media or whatever. My neighbour does not have a mobile phone or computer for example so we can't assume everyone is being kept up to date as well as everyone else.