To think it's because I'm black?

[notamumsymum]

Walked to co op this morning as OH has taken my car today. So me DD and DS went to pick up some fruit & veg for today.
I don't normally shop at co op I normally go to Asda or Tesco sometimes M&S.

Anyhow one of the staff in there followed me around the whole time then proceeded to wait for me at the door. I was so frustrated at this point I said I'm not stealing anything! She said well we have to be sure. Then I thought let me go back in and see if she is still waiting by the door and shock she was gone.

Aibu and just paranoid? Or am I allowed to be this angry!

I shop in the Co-op almost every day. It's the only supermarket I can get to in my mobility scooter. They are unfailingly cheerful, friendly and polite in my bran, and I have never seen this or experienced it myself - though it would be fairly easy for me to nick something and stow it away in the various hanging things on the scooter.

I'm sorry this happened to you, and to all the others it has happened to. I think it's awful; seems it's not exclusive to Co-op though.

@notamumsymum

Not read the full thread but I am white and seem to have people follow me round a lot - clearly look suspicious.

But if you live in a mainly white area, it could well be your colour, sadly.

Customer service is rubbish in shops these days. Either they follow you round, or you can't find anyone to help you when you need helping. And then they wonder why everyone shops online.

Yes it is because you are black.

Please complain op. We need all news to tackle this when it happens.

The systems and processes in this country are still very biased and they are not colour blind.

I’m sorry your day has got off to such an awful start nota. Don’t let it go - Definitely complain. Someone mentioned up thread cctv being consulted. Give them the day, time, etc & hopefully they’ll check.
I would hate the feeling of being followed. Can’t even stand people too close to me in queues. Add in to it the fact you knew it was happening because of racism and feeling inhibited (causing a scene) because your kids were with you and you have a very bad shopping experience.
Take heed, Coop. Incidentally I thought Coop made a big thing about how ethical they are? Laughable.

I am sorry this happened to you. I would hope you write/email the manager - as even to give the impression of racism is not acceptable.

On the other hand as a White (MC passing) middle aged Mum, Ionce virtually got accused of shoplifting by a checkout assistant. They saw that I'd missed taking a bar of chocolate from the trolley, asked if I'd forgotten anything, but I couldn't see it when I looked, gave me filthy looks, then I found it when I removed my bags to pack. I know they were just a bit over zealous, but it still affects how I feel about that store.

It will depend where you live. I have ofen been the only person who is white in one particular super market (although not most nearest my house) because of where I live in London ( very mixed London borough) so obviously somewhere there if 99% of customers are not white then there is not likely to be the same issue.

I have certainly in supermarkets had security staff pay me close attention. There was one right near me the other day and on our tills we have a supervising person as some people steal the goods.

Keep tweeting them. Get others to do so. Get it retweeted!

Who knows whether it was racism or not. You have to accept that if you are shopping you may at some point draw the attention of a member of staff due to a myriad of reasons and being black is probably and hopefully low down the list.

I am white and middle aged but was followed around the other day. I think it was because I was carrying a very large empty shopping bag as I had forgotten to put my smaller ones back in the car. You had a pushchair with you. I spent many years working in retail management and retail security.
Pushchairs were used by a lot of shoplifters.

What used to make me so mad was when someone's card was declined or we had to ring for authorisation. Numerous times I would be accused by customers of doing it because they were black and I would get called a white bitch. Yes of course my till was fitted with cameras that would only decline black customers cards. My black members of staff would get even more abuse as they were accused of turning against their own colour.

its got nothing to do with skin colour.
2 kids and a pushchair however do set off alarm bells (i’m white, and get followed sometimes, but only if i have 2 kids with me and a buggy)

I haven't rtfs, but I (40s woman) was followed the whole way round Hobbycraft a few years ago. I even asked the security guard if he thought I was going to shoplift. He shrugged and continued to follow me everywhere I went, both up- and downstairs. I can totally understand how horrible you felt; I felt like that, too. (Guard was black and I'm white.)

I don't think I have ever seen a white security guard in a supermarket

I was actually thinking the same - not in the last few years, anyway.

I don't get followed by security guards, I do get followed by staff though (who are usually white). Interesting that someone said it's white women who look working class and poor who get followed, I wonder what that says about my dress sense!

But pinning it on race or the way we look is just lazy. 99% of the time it's because we've met the wrong dickhead on the wrong day

When you are white, yes. When you are black/not white, I suspect that 99% drops to about 50%.

I say this with much love Xenia but it would take a very brave person to accuse you of shoplifting.

Don’t believe this. Sorry. Maybe the feeling you are being followed around is a valid one, but the comment from the employee saying ‘well we have to be sure’ just would not be said. Maybe that bit was thrown into the thread for effect??

OP -send us a link to your tweet and those of us who support you can retweet it. That might make them react.

gardenstress
In the 2 other European countries I lived in a man threw a glass at me because I am English and the in other country, also where my DH relatives are from, I was constantly told English people were ugly and stupid. The last 2 are not racist, but still prejudice.

It seems to be about 'familiarity'. A Danish friend was visiting, and went into central Dublin one day. When she came home she told me Irish people were very plain 😆 We can't all be Viking gods and goddesses. 😆

It's difficult to say for sure.
I worked in shops for a very long time, people with a buggy/pram are definitely seen as high risk to be a shop lifter but as op is in a predominately white area it seems fairly likely her skin colour was a factor.
No shop is ever going to admit that's why she was followed, they will say it's because of the buggy.

That's appalling, I'm gobsmacked. I have three very good Co-ops near me and they don't do that in any of them.

I won't pretend to know the reason and dread to think it is because of what you think! It could be that there has been a bit of pilfering in the shop, they have been asked to keep an eye on all customers and that particular person doesn't know how to do it discreetly. I imagine that is the reason however that doesn't stop you from feeling miffed about it - I would be.

If she goes on behaving like that, someone will complain eventually. It's too awful for words.

Yes let's have the link to the tweet and we'll share the hell out of it!

"In the 2 other European countries I lived in a man threw a glass at me because I am English and the in other country, also where my DH relatives are from, I was constantly told English people were ugly and stupid. The last 2 are not racist, but still prejudice."

Yes, that's just as bad as racism

I hope this makes you feel better - I am white & middle class and was apprehended in Waitrose for shoplifting last week during the afternoon school run rush!

I'd been to Wilco before and bought some laundry stuff and was re-arranging my bag as I packed the stuff I bought from Waitrose and I somehow drew the security guard's attention after I'd taken my laundry stuff out of my bag to re-pack it all.

I think we'd be naive to not consider the possibility of racial bias. Sorry you've had a bad day.

Seems to be a typical response on mumsnet that you can't possibly experience this due to racism because shock horror it happened to a white person once. It has happened to me a few times ( am asian) and usually out with a buggy. It is annoying and does piss me off. So in my opinion yanbu x

@bingbongnoise

WTF was the for? Complete ignoramus

Sorry this happened OP. I hope you are feeling a bit better now.

I've never EVER been followed in a shop...I've been younger, older, had a buggy with me...never. I try to remember every day how privileged I am to have been born white in this sadly still structurally racist country.

Possibly - sadly.

DH used to get followed around a lot - he's white but I don't know if he was giving off "working class vibes" or something was considered amiss in his dress or they heard his northern sounding accent.

No idea what it was but is was very obvious and constant when you spent any time around him – people were initially dismissive citing coincidence then they’d experience it.

He'd also get stopped for quizzes and surveys. It’s dropped off over the years – couldn’t tell you why that’s happened either just noticed it has.