To think it's because I'm black?

[notamumsymum]

Walked to co op this morning as OH has taken my car today. So me DD and DS went to pick up some fruit & veg for today.
I don't normally shop at co op I normally go to Asda or Tesco sometimes M&S.

Anyhow one of the staff in there followed me around the whole time then proceeded to wait for me at the door. I was so frustrated at this point I said I'm not stealing anything! She said well we have to be sure. Then I thought let me go back in and see if she is still waiting by the door and shock she was gone.

Aibu and just paranoid? Or am I allowed to be this angry!

Whether or not people are willing to accept it, and I am white. It's an easier ride from the off set.
I work in a very multicultural organisation which is as good as it gets, thank bloody goodness.

Is it? All details have been changed including that it wasn't even a pub I worked in.
Oh well. I suppose the post should be deleted. Shame. I've nothing to be ashamed of. Pity, since it explained very well what many of face on a frequent basis.

Cambridge dictionary definition of violence. Check your white fragility and white privilege. Physical violence is not worse than racism especially in retaliation to it. Racism is much worse.

She was a cunt but breaking her nose makes you even worse than she is.

Disagree.

@TanselleTooTall I'm sorry you felt like you had to take your post down. And I'm sorry for all the racism you have to experience all the time even when talking about your own experiences. It's disgusting and I'm sorry.

Physical violence is not worse than racism especially in retaliation to it. Racism is much worse.

Agree.

Tinselle - sorry I meant identifiable as I am sure it happens regularly ❤️ not outing you

Not even sure I was clear then. The situation is all too identifiable.

Could be that you are a mum. I used to be followed when I had my kids in the pushchair, think they thought I had going to hide things in the pushchair

Re the punching . 6 of one and half a dozen of the other . And as the racist started it . Well . I can’t cry over a racist getting a retaliation they didn’t Expect . Sorry 😐

Interesting that definition , I am conditioned
To think that violence is always physical

Op wasn’t BU . Much of this thread is though

I hate it when people bring race into it.'

^What an absurd comment.

How inconsiderate of black people to notice racism and want it to stop.^

THIS ⤴️

@2eternities That doesn’t explain why my friend who is mixed race and had an expensive pram was followed around Waitrose when they got a new security guard.
There was another poster who said she dumped her shopping after being followed, my friend would never have eaten after the new security guard showed up if she’d done that so you are lucky you had that option.

@Saltystraw what is being done to close the gap? Precisely nothing because there are enough people like you who want to pretend racism doesn’t exist. It exists and I hope for your child’s sake you open your eyes and don’t teach them to accept that they are just unlucky they always meet the idiot.

I'm half African, part Korean, part Pakistani. I'm many 'colours'. You don't get to decide what other mixed race people find offensive.

Physical violence is not worse than racism especially in retaliation to it. Racism is much worse

It's not racism that kills/maims, it's violence.

I'm pretty certain if I used the 'n' word that my posts would be deleted, even if I thought the term was OK to use because I'm black.

I often get followed. I'm white.

Dear MN - can we have a sub section for black women please? Honestly the wilful ignorance of white women on here is extremely tiring

@lboogy is right. The racism threads on MN always go the same way. People saying 'no, it's not racism' when they are viewing it from a white perspective doesn't work and unfortunately, makes their comments pretty invalid.

A sub-section though? I'd like to see this stuff more on the main boards lboogy . I think too many people already like to ignore the daily injustices black people face without putting it in a sub-section for people to more easily ignore it all.

It reminds me of a thread when I first joined about an old woman trying to touch a black woman's hair at the bus stop. Old woman did not know black woman, did not ask either. Someone called it micro aggression? A term I'd never heard of before but very apt.

Plenty of responses minimising that instance. I came to the conclusion that no-one white could have any idea how racist that action actually was without first viewing it in the context of centuries of slavery, abuse, violence, prejudice and injustice. What may seem like something small and inconsequential to a white person is actually a much bigger deal when put into the context of black history.

"Stop playing the racist card" is a rather blatant example of someone wanting to put their fingers in their ears and ignore all the horrific things done to black people because of their skin colour. It is an uncomfortable subject for many because it reflects badly on white people. But we really must get over that and stop ignoring it for the sake of a comfortable life.

I'm so sorry this happened to you OP. It sounds like racial profiling and it would be interesting to hear the security guards 'justification' for following you.

Itslateandiminmypyjamas, I had to say I love your nick name. Today mine could well be 'inmypyjamasatalltimesofday':-).

You said: "I'm half African, part Korean, part Pakistani. I'm many 'colours'. "

Wow! That sounds gorgeous, I'm jealous. My ethnic make up is well boring by comparison.

I was going to say something else but was side tracked and now forgotten what it was! Probably wasn't important. See you later.

I think in the ops case I think it did probably have a racial bias towards her being followed but other people regularly get followed around stores who are white.

Being followed is horrible and is the same for everyone.

Dismissing some people’s experience as lesser because of the colour of someone’s skin is insulting

My experience as well as many other “white” people was exactly as you described. The only difference is you are putting the reason it happened down to the colour of your skin and I just think that in this instance it might be the case but for those white people who have it done to them then the only reason we can think of is they don’t like the look of us and would prefer we shop elsewhere.

@SoupDragon in reference to your last comment saying racism doesn't kill I think you need to read some books and educate yourself.

Oh my goodness, I haven't rtft, did someone really say that racism doesn't kill? How on Earth...???? Where to start? From lynchings to police killings in the US, poorer housing and health provision that lowers life expectancy. It's all from racism in its many forms.

Maybe it was racism. The fact that it is possible, likely even shows what a terrible problem we have I just hope you made the shop assistant question her motives. That would be great.

Fwiw, I'm mostly white and have sometimes suffered from very swollen joints. There's a particular security employee in Boots who follows me if I'm limping. At other times he doesn't notice me at all. It happened when I was doing some last minute Christmas shopping and I was really upset and as I was dealing with pain I didn't have the energy to confront him.