To think it's because I'm black?

[notamumsymum]

Walked to co op this morning as OH has taken my car today. So me DD and DS went to pick up some fruit & veg for today.
I don't normally shop at co op I normally go to Asda or Tesco sometimes M&S.

Anyhow one of the staff in there followed me around the whole time then proceeded to wait for me at the door. I was so frustrated at this point I said I'm not stealing anything! She said well we have to be sure. Then I thought let me go back in and see if she is still waiting by the door and shock she was gone.

Aibu and just paranoid? Or am I allowed to be this angry!

I get followed around in every store. Places I regularly go have stopped now, but only because I used to walk in and give them the basket/trolley telling them they might as well do something useful whilst following me around.

Racial profiling does happen. Anyone remember when the police had the stop and check thing that was based on profiling? (I know they still do it btw)

I have never been followed around a shop that I can think of- plus what the woman said makes me think she saw you as a suspicious character.

All the evidence/research points to racism playing a part in who gets stopped, who gets watched and who gets different sentences in the criminal justice system.

Saying 'well I was once followed around Tescos' if you are white doesn't mean the above isn't true. My own experience tells me I'm almost never watched in shops (I'm white).

Racial bias... not racial ias

I could be racial bias.

But it also happens to me and I am white. So no one can say it definitely is.

Profiling happens on many levels. What you are wearing, how you are acting, even what type of shoplifter they have.

I know shops round here that are very vigilant around mothers. Because theres been a patch of women using kids to hide items on to steal them.

So I get followed far more when I have ds with me.

This thread highlights some classic casual racism. White people - yes you’ve been followed in a shop but your EXPERIENCE IS NOT THE SAME AS A BLACK PERSON and it never can be. It is possible to emote with an event without reframing it through there’s the prism of your own (privileged) experience.
We weren’t there OP, but your intuition sounds right. I would complain too and your anger is justified.

Did you have a pram/pushchair?
Very commonly these are used by shoplifters (even with children lol) which might explain it. If not, yes it definitely sounds racist!

I'm white and I got followed all round paperchase yesterday by a staff member. Was really annoying.

I was planning on spending money but put me right off and I left with nothing.

I've never been followed round the shop. Ever. I think it's really likely that it is because you're black. Complain.

What Knitwit99 said...

When one of my sons worked at the co-op on a local estate, he was told to watch young mums with pushchairs as they used to shoplift by hiding things in the hood, under the blankets etc

I think that this is entirely possible.

Why is it not the same experience? 2 people walk in a shop and get tailed by staff but it's different for the black person, why?

I think people are being naive if they don't think this has an element of racism involved.

Using the term naive to describe what is going on here is also naive.

I'm white and never get followed round. I agree it is 99% likely she is racist and that's why she did it (tiny chance she is just a loon that follows people at random but seems unlikely).

I used to have this happen to me as a teenager and found it completely infuriating, but can only imagine what it's like to have it happen as an adult (as a teenager you're kind of used to being patronised and judged but at least you know it will pass, and you get advantages too). I'm sure it happens to other groups too and for other reasons, but that doesn't mean it's OK for it to happen for any of those reasons including racist ones!!

I'm really sorry that happened. If you can face it I would write because I think Co-op should be made aware that their staff training is not up to scratch. If it's really random or policy then they should be able to explain the policy to you clearly and politely when challenged.

This is awful. I think you were probably right, OP, and I hate this happened to you. You have every right to be angry.

They do this to young white people as well. Don't make it out to be more than it is

Fucks sake

It BU and racist behaviour

I know that down to ‘white privilege’ (sorry for such a wank and woke phrase) I never get targeted like this

It’s racism .

I had dreadlocks for years and was always followed round shops by security.
I thought it was my age (late teens-early 20's) until my friend (who uses to have dreads) told me it was likely because of the way I looked with my hair (I was really fucking scruffy as well).

Sure enough, I got rid of my dreads and it stopped happening.

i think sadly its very possible it was to do with race, yes.
just bc someone is white and has been followed doesnt mean black people dont get followed disproportionately - i hope those who are saying that can appreciate that.

my ex is from the caribbean and also wealthy. when we went to the mailbox (birmingham) into the more exclusive shops it was horrible. i cannot imagine facing that every day. it would make me angry. it made me appreciate how WELL im treated in shops.

I've been blatantly followed around stores on several occasions, and I am the whitest of white people.

However I did not enjoy the experience, it did make me wonder why they chose me to follow, and if I were black I can see it would be hard to brush off the idea that this was why.

Also I've been chatted up by security guards twice when younger, so sometimes I think they just follow women they like the look of (sorry, that would probably be even creepier).

I've seen this happen with both colours so it's not you.

To be fair - I'd do what Ironfloor269 says - write a letter of complaint and see if that gets a result. It's not nice to be followed.

True story - a few years back a friend of mine (male) worked as a security undercover person for a supermarket - he faked an injury with crutches and caught a few that way, not sure how legal that is now but I was a bit when I saw him hobbling around the local supermarket knowing he hadn't hurt himself!

Are you right? Who knows.
AYBU to suspect you're being racially targeted? No.

Our co-op security and often ordinary staff visibly stalk: rougher, poorer white people, black people, anyone in a wheel chair, anyone with a larger pushchair.
They often briefly stop the last two at the door by asking them to lift up shopping bags so peoples laps and pushchair hoods can be visually checked, 'in case you forgot to pay for anything.'

They're a commuters hot spot shop, and are now sending out money off vouchers to the posher surrounding areas only.

I'm white wear a back pack to work, often pop in shops on the way, I often get followed

Sorry this happened to you OP

What age was the shop assistant out of interest?

It's actually pathetic in this day and age that racial profiling still exists. Its sad and should surely be getting better as we become a more multi cultural society. However, right now, it seems the opposite is happening :(

Of course it is.

Sadly.

If it's of any consolation I am brown and speak with an accent = treated as a worthless vegetable in many occasion!

Interestingly when I was younger and beautiful the colour and the accent were somehow less conspicuous because the beauty (advantage) was overriding these disadvantages.

Equally when I am in a professional setting people see my job title (advantage) before my appearance; and equally if I am dressed up (say formal dress when I am going to work) I get treated with remarkably more politeness.