To think it's because I'm black?

[notamumsymum]

Walked to co op this morning as OH has taken my car today. So me DD and DS went to pick up some fruit & veg for today.
I don't normally shop at co op I normally go to Asda or Tesco sometimes M&S.

Anyhow one of the staff in there followed me around the whole time then proceeded to wait for me at the door. I was so frustrated at this point I said I'm not stealing anything! She said well we have to be sure. Then I thought let me go back in and see if she is still waiting by the door and shock she was gone.

Aibu and just paranoid? Or am I allowed to be this angry!

I’m guessing the people who say don’t bring race into it are white. Black people have a very different experience of life in this country and it is all to do with race.

OP I’m so sorry this happened to you today.

I think there are many factors that could have made them follow you round. Your skin colour is just one of them. It's easy to blame it on your skin colour but that's because there are racist arseholes who would indeed do this.

sorry this happened, OP, i thought the CoOp were the good guys generally.

Complain to the shop and ask them if they have a training policy for security guards.

They do this to young white people as well.

That’s still stereotyping, even if it’s a different type and it doesn’t make it right. notamumsymum, you are entitled to be angry. I think the assistant’s reaction makes it look even more suspicious. I think it’s worth complaining. She upset you and it will make you less likely to shop in the Co-op again so they need to know.

I'm not accusing you of "playing the race card" BTW! I think my post might be ambiguous.

Our Co-op has recently brought in security staff due to stealing in that area, it does feel weird being watched, it may well be due to incidents in that shop though.

It could be because they’re racist, or do you have different look? Dress style etc.

My 68yr old Uncle is always stopped at airport customs without fail.
He’s white, but has a slightly ‘hippy’ look about him, jazzy trousers, longish hair, but nothing dodgy about him at all and never has been.

It understandably made you feel uncomfortable though, so I’d complain.
Security guards should suspect because of their behaviour, not their race, age or dress sense!

have tweeted them so let's see what they have to say. Would love for them to have a look at the cctv.

Let us know what they come back with.

Are you feeling any better?

People who are minimising OP's experience by saying 'But I've been followed too and I AM WHITE..', this argument doesn't work. You're ignoring the fact that being black makes you much more likely to get treated like a criminal. So just because white people get followed too sometimes, doesn't mean racism isn't involved when a black person is followed.

Dreadful and not on at all. No wonder you are upset. You felt uncomfortable and that’s all that matters.
For what it’s worth my DS went to a festival with a group of lads. One of them is black and he was constantly approached by white kids to ask if he was selling drugs. Said friend is the most straight kid ever and he must have felt beyond terrible when this happened to him. I wish people would think sometimes.

No yanbu but mumsnet is full of privileged white middle class women who look affluent and acceptable enough to avoid being discriminated against whenever leaving the house.

I had this when my DC were small and I had PND and wasnt taking care of my appearance that much. I'm also working class and looked obviously so at the time... I just give them the Scariest, angriest more intimidating look ever and they soon sod off. Many people in this country are very judgemental and discriminatory to those seen as poor and unfortunately black people often fall into that category. It sucks being discriminated against for things out of your control but most of this site are privileged and won't understand.

Sounds like probable racism and I like the comment from pp that the problem is not that you're black, the problem is that they are racist. Surprised security said something so waffly and unprofessional ( well we have to be sure...) - would have done better to apologise for making you feel so uncomfortable. I was challenged by security on more than one occasion when my kids were small and in double buggy with previously bought shopping , visibly branded from another store , in basket below, which made me feel weirdly upset /shaken. I had to take the items out and show they were not stocked in that store... Still feel paranoid 10 years later and always tell kids not to take snacks etc or anything out of bag till have left the store. Having said that while in double buggy I pushed my dc out of my local store boldly carrying a plastic brown sauce bottle that I hadn't noticed, so got them trained early😀! Kept it as too scared to return & explain...
I am sorry this has happened and upset you and I know that horrible feeling, would defo contact store re manner of security guard toward customer but also challenge how effective and professional they are if they are so overtly "watching ".

She said well we have to be sure.

That's terrible. And to be so blatant about it... Awful.

Tweet the Co-op. Sounds like their staff could do with some training.

Chardonnay - you sound like me! Pick up 6 things, put 5 down again :)

OP sorry you've had this experience. Not pleasant for anyone to be suspected like this when innocent. I would contact the store manager/HQ and tell them that it made you feel very uncomfortable to be followed around and it puts you off going in again.

We can never know for sure, but probability suggests race comes into this. Interestingly here (small, mainly white town) at least 2 supermarkets have Asian security guards. I sometimes wonder how they fare on the other end of the equation - do they sometimes get flack from white people who resent being 'observed' by another racial group? (I know its not a direct analogy as obvs the demographics and power balance is totally different).

These guys are never intrusive though, they seem to just be stationed by exit/entrance. Pretty thankless task being shop security.

Of course it's because you're black.

When I go in to a shop as a middle aged, white woman I don't get followed.

If I go in the same shop with one of my sons who is in his 20's and not white, he's brown, we do get followed and I can feel the eyes on us.

People who dismiss this low level racism because they don't experience it themselves can feck right off.

Let us know what they say?

'they do this to white people too'

Yes, Ones who are working class and poor. It's acceptable to discriminate against anyone seen as lacking financially these days, and black people fall into that category as do white people who don't look like relatively affluent Conformists.

It could have been because she was racist but maybe not, maybe she just didn't like the look of you who knows. A security guard followed me all round b&q the other week, white woman in late 30s with a child with me, I honestly don't know what he thought I'd want to steal in b&q, still none the wiser.

Yep definitely racial profiling. I don’t know a single supermarket that would ordinarily follow a mum with kids around the shop otherwise. Complain to the supermarket and threaten to go to the media if they don’t give you an adequate response.

@Tensixtysix

They do this to young white people as well. Don't make it out to be more than it is
It’s happened to a middle aged mum though, stop justifying prejudice.,,

Asians are not generally seen as potential thieves unless they look obviously poor, un like black people. They are generally seen as hard working and trustworthy unlike white working class and blacks. The former being the most acceptable to discriminate against today

For all the white women who are constantly followed why do you think that is

For me it is because although my skin colour is white my features are not “British”

Dd (who has my families look) is starting to have the same thing happen to her. Always drug swabbed at airports.

I know if I go through a deserted customs hall when returning from abroad I know if I don’t remove something I wear there will be suddenly a group of officers wanting to search my bags.

And yes my family used to be stopped regularly for driving a car.

I see Janey is on the Brexit thread being a massive racist, you don't seem bored with racism at all Janey, you appear to very keen on it!

It could be racist, in fact it sounds like it.

If you had a buggy with you that may have added to the abhorrent stereotyping. A few years ago I worked part time in a shop and we were trained to watch for people with buggies because they would hide stuff in the hoods and behind the child

This sort of racial ias is horribly common. My DS's babysitter is mixed race, and where we live is predominantly white. She and her sisters are ALWAYS stopped by the police 'randomly' when driving. Random my arse. None of her friends ever get stopped, yet she and her friends are stopped so often it's ridiculous.

So yes, they will stop white people, they will follow white people, but they will stop far more black people, especially in an area which is predominantly white.