to be unsure about going for ££ Michelin Star lunch ££

[DismalDaughter]

I’ll try and keep it brief! I appreciate it’s a First World Problem....

Very close friend has big birthday coming up. We have been friends forever and our DHs are friends too. They have no DCs, no pets, no mortgage - just 2 big fat salaries / bonuses / shares and lots of exotic holidays!

On the other hand DH and I have a substantial mortgage, DCs and pets! DH is our breadwinner. He works very long hours to provide for us. I was a SAHM but now work p/t and term time. I earn peanuts. My (our!) choice - DH earns enough and I wanted to be home for DCs.

We don’t have much of a social life as no family nearby, but we have maintained this friendship (and others) buy socialising mainly at our house over the years. No issues - we provide food and booze and they bring along pudding and more booze, and sometimes sweets for kids. All good!

DCs are now at high school so it feels as though ever so slowly we are starting to get our lives back a bit. We’ll leave kids home alone for a couple of hours from time to time to go shopping or for lunch, and once to the cinema. Kids are happy to be left and well behaved - so no problem with this.

So... DF has suggested that for her upcoming 50th she’d like the 4 of us to go for a posh lunch. DH would like to go and says we can afford it as a “once in a lifetime experience”. But I’ve looked at the website and I reckon for the 2 of us it’d be about £700 😵 Dates are released 3 months in advance so we need to make a decision. I get that for them it’s about a day’s salary (between them) but for me that’s over a month’s pay! And I’m really struggling to get my head round that. Even though DH has a career, like I say we have a mortgage, kids, pets etc.

I don’t know, I wouldn’t hesitate to go on holiday or pay for DCs to go on school trips. But this just seems a bit OTT. Out of my comfort zone I suppose. Or am I missing the point? Will it be worth every penny? I’d appreciate views! And as I said at the start, I do appreciate it’s a “nice” dilemma to have.

Are any of you experienced Michelin star lunchers?! Would I regret not going?!

We're greasy spoon types, however, we used to work for people who loved L'Manoir, so been a couple of times.

Once was when I was expecting a pub lunch and was in tatty ripped jeans and dodgy T-shirt. I literally hid behind my boss as we entered but the staff there are class and not the least bit stuck up (well, they were then, it was a few years ago.)

Second time, we (DH & I) had a night in the dovecote and ate the tasting menu. Very memorable and again, felt very comfortable there. Lovely place.

I think that's the key really, if you're not going to relax due to cost and atmosphere, then it's pointless going.

No way, if they want to pay as it’s her celebration then fine! Instead of a party, say

But otherwise nope

I can't imagine suggesting to anyone they spend that much on lunch!!

I love a posh restaurant, am a foodie, and like a star. I've eaten at Gordon Ramsey (and it was wonderful) and fairly regularly eat at one star places.

However. There's a sort of Michelin starred place that is becoming money spent for the sake of it, and is weirdly offensive as a result. For instance, if you told me we were going for dinner at Trinity in Clapham, I'd be there like a shot. Same for Galvin La Chapelle (their mezzaine level is great for a big dinner), or Chez Bruce. Petrus and Hide (where I walked out just plain angry and feeling utterly ripped off) are up themselves where they've no right to be.

£700 for LUNCH for two goes into the latter category. Say no.

Be honest and say you'd love to be it's a huge amount of money for you.

If they're that loaded and really good friends they'll probably offer to pay for you. I know I would, I'd be mortified that a friend would be worried about paying, it'd be my treat.

There's no food or wine I would like enough to spend 700 pounds on!

Ah don't do it. The fancy Michelin experience can be had for much, much less - go for a set lunch at a good restaurant rather than paying over the odds for all of Heston's courses.

If it's the 'storytelling through food' experience your friend is after then Restaurant Story would be cheaper, still far from cheap but similar concept as the Fat Duck. Is in London, not sure where OP is based but presumably will have to travel for the Fat Duck anyway (plus there's the cost of staying there!)

Or somewhere like Stark in Broadstairs which offers a tasting menu for £60, genuinely innovative cuisine and probably going to be given a Michelin star soon.

£700 for lunch is properly mad.

50/50! You can not be serious!
She is a CF for even suggesting. If you must be friends with her then put her straight op!
Of course a weekend away with the dogs will be infinitely nicer for you and dh.

For those that were asking about Le Manoir has delicious veggie menu and you can definitely order for one ❤️ The lunch menu is reasonable if you squint in a certain way, and do wear something lovely even for lunch. It is fairly formal.

Op I don’t think they are real feigned, real friends don’t put their friends in ridiculous positions.

I've been to three or four Michelin starred restaurants for lunch (never for dinner) and the most we've paid in one go was £150 and that included wine for both of us. That was having the 3 course set lunch menu.

£700 sounds ridiculous, even if you ate off the a la carte.

The biggest bill I've ever had was for 3 of us at an offshoot of a Michelin starred chef and it included a bottle of wine, digestifs and 3 courses off the a la carte and came to just under £200.

Pied a terre is amazing, by the way, and was the £150 place. The £200 place was in Jersey.

Nope. No chance. You aren’t going to enjoy it if you are thinking of the money.
My BIL/SIL do stuff like this all the time and they can’t even afford it. They like playing at being rich and just don’t care.

Imagine what you could use that money for with your children in the school holidays instead.

I'll agree everyone else was fairly smart at lunch for L'Manoir. I was a tad mortified!

L'Manoir used to do a limo service too.

Op dont even feel any bit of pressure to say no to them. Many people could easily afford this and wouldnt spend this crazy amount on one meal. To them it might not be a huge deal based on it being a big celebration, but that's their reasoning not yours!
It's a crazy amount. No I would not.

I'd be reluctant to do £700 for lunch. We've spent £800 on dinner at a Michelin starred restaurant for an evening meal for 4 people, but that price seems somewhat steep just for lunch.

However, if it was 3 Michelin stars, somewhere like the Fat Duck, then I'd be keen to go along. But would prefer dinner to lunch.

Petrus and Hide (where I walked out just plain angry and feeling utterly ripped off) are up themselves where they've no right to be.

How shit is Hide eh? Most disappointing meal I've had in the last 5 years was recently at hide. All fur coat no knickers.

A couple of years ago, I spent an insane amount of money for a one day experience. I don’t regret it for a second. It was amazing. One of the best days of my life. I actually am saving up to do it again. DH was very skeptical, but he went along with it and had the same reaction. Totally worth every penny.

If this is the Fat Duck, I just read some reviews, and that is the kind of thing I might be willing to really splurge on.

But a splurge like this needs to come from you and your DH. You should’t do it because another couple wants to go. You should do it because you want to go (or your DH really wants to go and you are inclined to indulge him)

You can easily spend £350 per person if you are in the habbit of having a couple of bottles of expensive wine.

I love a fancy dinner, but I don't feel happy spending more than £150-180 pp person really, which is quite easy to do at most places if you do a tasting menu and have 1 bottle of wine between 2.

I've been to the Fat Duck years ago when it was much cheaper - it was fun, but not worth £700, and it wasn't the best meal I've ever had. Even if I had tons of money to spare, I wouldn't book the Fat Duck at that price. There are lots of much cheaper Michelin-starred restaurants.

I can't get my head around paying that much for lunch!

We could afford it, but I'd much rather spend that money on a family day out and even that wouldn't cost that much. Does

DF have children?

I would just be open with DF and explain you do enjoy treats and eating out but your budget is xxxx and maybe suggest a couple of restaurants within your range. DF can keep the posh/OTT restaurant for her and her husband.

That is incredibly cheeky as a suggestion from your friends.

I could afford it but wouldn’t go.

I’m not that fussed about that level of food (once we get into foam and crumb territory I’m out) so it would be a total waste

I also think it’s insane of your DF to suggest it and a bit off tbh.

Save your cash.
Meet her for a drink beforehand then wave her off to blow a fortune on aniseed foam and go the chippy with a smile on your face!

I would prioritise a meal like this, because it's once in a lifetime. But when you consider what else you could buy with that money, it does change your outlook. If these are very dear friends, and you love food, then go for it. Otherwise perhaps you could go for a 1 or 2 star meal, will still be special, but will cost a lot less.

I personally think it's off to suggest a very expensive meal as a birthday celebration and then go 50/50 on the costs. If you're going to invite friends, then you treat them to it. But ok, they will have to suck up that it's not in your budget.

Of course you shouldn’t spend a month’s salary on some food. So wasteful!

@BlueSkiesLies you are so right! And the fucking poncey Hedonism wines ipad made me furious. The sommelier literally SNEERED at DH and I when we ordered a fucking £110 bottle of wine. I honestly walked out of there feeling like I was witnessing the last days of Rome.

My starter was nice, my dessert was BAD and my main course average.

The most ridiculous example of over-blown ego I've ever seen in a restaurant. And I ate in Richard Corrigan's Mayfair which was a painful testament to his inflated self-importance after the joy that had been Lindsey House.

Phew. I feel better after that!

We went to an amazing 1star place in London and did the tasting menu - with gin and tonic each and then wine with the meal, I think we spent around £250 - including the tip. It was awesome - we asked for money for Christmas and birthday presents and saved it all up to have a weekend in London with this meal plus a theatre trip. Best weekend ever - great memories and truly incredible food...don't think I would justify £700 though if I'm honest.