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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be unsure about going for ££ Michelin Star lunch ££

389 replies

DismalDaughter · 03/07/2019 14:54

I’ll try and keep it brief! I appreciate it’s a First World Problem....

Very close friend has big birthday coming up. We have been friends forever and our DHs are friends too. They have no DCs, no pets, no mortgage - just 2 big fat salaries / bonuses / shares and lots of exotic holidays!

On the other hand DH and I have a substantial mortgage, DCs and pets! DH is our breadwinner. He works very long hours to provide for us. I was a SAHM but now work p/t and term time. I earn peanuts. My (our!) choice - DH earns enough and I wanted to be home for DCs.

We don’t have much of a social life as no family nearby, but we have maintained this friendship (and others) buy socialising mainly at our house over the years. No issues - we provide food and booze and they bring along pudding and more booze, and sometimes sweets for kids. All good!

DCs are now at high school so it feels as though ever so slowly we are starting to get our lives back a bit. We’ll leave kids home alone for a couple of hours from time to time to go shopping or for lunch, and once to the cinema. Kids are happy to be left and well behaved - so no problem with this.

So... DF has suggested that for her upcoming 50th she’d like the 4 of us to go for a posh lunch. DH would like to go and says we can afford it as a “once in a lifetime experience”. But I’ve looked at the website and I reckon for the 2 of us it’d be about £700 😵 Dates are released 3 months in advance so we need to make a decision. I get that for them it’s about a day’s salary (between them) but for me that’s over a month’s pay! And I’m really struggling to get my head round that. Even though DH has a career, like I say we have a mortgage, kids, pets etc.

I don’t know, I wouldn’t hesitate to go on holiday or pay for DCs to go on school trips. But this just seems a bit OTT. Out of my comfort zone I suppose. Or am I missing the point? Will it be worth every penny? I’d appreciate views! And as I said at the start, I do appreciate it’s a “nice” dilemma to have.

Are any of you experienced Michelin star lunchers?! Would I regret not going?!

OP posts:
nokidshere · 03/07/2019 16:40

@SickOfBeingFat it means that you all have the tasting menu or you all have a la carte. There are veggie options on both. We took our (then) 10yr old foodie the Le Manoir for his birthday, Raymond spoke to him and gave him a signed book, we had a tour of the kitchens and a tour of the garden. Definitely tell them it's a special occasion. We have been a few times and have never been disappointed.

OP nearly all the Michelin star restaurants have a 2 or 3 course lunch for under £100pp

MsRinky · 03/07/2019 16:40

OP, if you tell us the restaurant we can suggest alternatives. It can't be the Fat Duck, as that would be north of £700 for two just for food and service. Plus their reservation lead-in is 4 months not 3.

WholelottaPaint · 03/07/2019 16:41

@TheBossOfMe
Stuffy has it's place. Usually when I have to dine with someone I don't really want to talk to. Sitting in silence seems OK in stuffy surroundings!
That is a very acute observation! .

MerdedeBrexit · 03/07/2019 16:41

diddl - yes, of course - sorry if I wasn't clear that went without saying!

MsRinky · 03/07/2019 16:42

By the way I go for half a dozen Michelin starred lunches a year with my Mum, and we usually pay less than it would be for three courses at a bog standard chain. Lunchtime is bargain time!

stucknoue · 03/07/2019 16:43

I've been to 1* restaurants and for the lunch tasting menu and wine it is under £200 for 2 people, I admit a lot but significantly less than you are suggesting. I can make Midlands suggestions ...

SickOfBeingFat · 03/07/2019 16:43

@nokidshere
Thank you! That makes more sense Grin
Boyfriend is a massive foodie but I am not. I think he’d really enjoy something like this

missbattenburg · 03/07/2019 16:44

for the 2 of us it’d be about £700

It's well crossed the line from:

  • I cannot afford it (still a very respectable reason to say no, imo)

to

  • No matter how rich you are, you would still be entirely sensible to not want to spend £700 on a blooming lunch. I'd think Elton-£15kamonthonflowers-John was being entirely reasonable bif he refused to spend that money on a meal...
Mintychoc1 · 03/07/2019 16:45

I find it hard to think of anything more bonkers than spending that kind of money on a meal

Oblomov19 · 03/07/2019 16:45

Good grief! I've been to 2 x delicious Michelin star lunches, as a treat from my mum, at a fraction of that price!

FroggieEyes · 03/07/2019 16:45

OP I have been in a very similar family situation where we split the bill by couples.

We went to Le Manoir.

Menu on website was £145 or £175 plus 12.5% but it still ended up costing over £300 each due to pre-dinner drinks, wine, extra cheese course (yum!), port Envy - not envy! BIL then ordered coffee by which point I was thinking WTF Shock and just had £ signs in my eyes I’m sure.

We’re comfortable but far from millionaires.

IMVHO it was a hell of a lot of money for what it was.

Plus it cost even more bearing in mind new outfit, transport, childcare and kennels for the day. A very expensive lunch indeed. I probably remember that more than the actual food.

PigletJohn · 03/07/2019 16:45

I wouldn't feel comfortable if the cost was preying on my mind, so I wouldn't enjoy it.

stucknoue · 03/07/2019 16:46

Seriously suggest a weekend in Stratford upon Avon and book Salt, it's amazing, you'll get the whole weekend for the same price (I recommend the Crowne Plaza as a hotel)

LakieLady · 03/07/2019 16:49

That does sound extremely expensive for lunch, most we’ve spent was at Le Manoir, came to about £400 for the two of us including a nice bottle of wine, pre drinks, post drinks, everything else you can think of to spend money on at lunch....where are you going?!

I thought it might be Le Manoir, but I just looked and their 5 course lunch is a mere £105. Grin

I'd love to go there, but probably for dinner, so I could just toddle my my tipsy and stuffed self up the stairs and fall into bed.

Honeyroar · 03/07/2019 16:49

I cannot imagine what "experience" could make you feel like £500 was justified for a meal. I just can't! For that I'd want whisking off to Paris to have a night there with a great meal.

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 03/07/2019 16:50

I do this sort of a thing regularly and love it: but the thing is I can afford it and don’t need to worry about the cost.

It’s crazy to consider it if it’s a months salary for you - however special it is, it can’t be special enough to be worth a months work.

I think it’s rather poor of your friends not to think about your relative financial position here. I would never suggest this to someone who could not easily afford it.

Norma27 · 03/07/2019 16:51

If a friend of mine suggested a £700 all inclusive holiday for her birthday I would think she was a cheeky fucker. Never mind for one wanky lunch!

theunrivalledjoysofparenting · 03/07/2019 16:52

Just tell them it's too expensive for you. Arrange to go out for dinner at a 'normal' restaurant to celebrate instead. But if that's your monthly salary, I think you'd be insane to spend it on one meal.

We could afford that but I just couldn't justify it. I'd be thinking of starving children in the world and how much my mum would disapprove of spending so much on one meal!! What will you be eating, gold-plated oysters? The ingredients cannot be worth that much.

NannyRed · 03/07/2019 16:54

£700 for lunch for two is an insane amount.

Purnells in Birmingham only cost us £200 including a £40 bottle of wine! But that said, it was so nice we have returned again for dinner (evening)

We aren’t counting pennies but I think I’d say £700 is a bit steep for us. Could you find another Michelin Starr restaurant to experience at a more reasonable price?

That said, a really nice meal in beautiful surroundings with attentive service, great wines etc really is something lovely to remember.

saraclara · 03/07/2019 16:56

I've been to starred places twice, for special occasions. The tasting menus were about £110 each time. Yes, wine adds a lot though.

To be honest, if it's really that much I'd have to say that though I'd love to, I simply can't afford it (I'd mention that it's a month's salary for me, just so they get it!)

Feelingwalkedover · 03/07/2019 16:57

You could go on holiday for that.what an utter waste of your hard earned money

nokidshere · 03/07/2019 16:58

I'd love to go there, but probably for dinner, so I could just toddle my my tipsy and stuffed self up the stairs and fall into bed.

I've been a few times for lunch and dinner but sadly no toddling off to bed - have you seen the price of the rooms Shock

RandomNameChange415 · 03/07/2019 17:03

The ingredients are trivial beside the cost of the labour. That’s the main reason Heston et al do the cookbooks - after you’ve read five pages of instructions for a single amuse bouche you can practically hear him whispering “doesn’t look so overpriced now, does it?” in your ear.

I would and have spent that much on a meal at the Fat Duck but DH and I a) have the money and b) are really into that stuff - it was a bucket list item. In your position it would be entirely reasonable to say “I’m sorry, we’ve looked at the menu and our budget just won’t stretch to that. We’d love to go out for a nice meal somewhere closer to the £XX per head mark.” You can find lots of fantastic lunch deals at less than a hundred quid a head.

FirstWorld · 03/07/2019 17:05

OP why would you need to pluck up the courage to tell them? It’s entirely reasonable of you to say “really sorry as it looks amazing but we just couldn’t stretch to that sort of expense”

viques · 03/07/2019 17:05

thats about a days combined salary for us too

Stealth boast. Have a glass of this you won't believe it's not Dom Perignom MN prosecco [drink]