To wonder honestly what must go on in the minds of some men?

[VladmirsPoutine]

I've just taken my niece out for lunch. She's 16 and with the arrival of the weather she's been wearing a t-shirt and a mini skirt with her converse. Typical look for your typical teen but for just during lunch alone she was accosted by 2 different men who asked for her number. Both men clearly middle-aged and trying their luck. I admit she does look older than a teen but sheer audacity of these men hitting on a 16 year old girl really riled me.

I used to get attention when in my school uniform in the 80's, in my naivety I thought this sort of shit had stopped in the intervening years, that is until dd started growing up, she's 13 now and gets lots of attention from grown ass men, pathetic!

Maybe the difference is testosterone or years of conditioning.

I think societal stereotypes have a lot to answer for, and the explosive growth of the internet has accelerated things at light speed. This shit was happening when I was going through high school, late 80s+, the discussions held in communal swimming change areas/P.E changing weekly focused purely on sex and I wouldn't be at all surprised if many in that group are now mid 40s+ leches. The internet has simply allowed these types to collaborate and grow exponentially.

It's likely no surprise there are closed forums and membership cliques these types frequent. A friend tried to invite me to one 20 years ago. DD had just been born and he was blocked, removed, and I forwarded his email to his boss.

Stereotypes continue to dictate to men that women are commoditised objects, there are authors with millions of sales who propagate these views, the adage "I'm only looking" being the peddled bullshit excuse.

NAMALT, but I'd guesstimate a (large) majority are, and these people care not one iota the psychological/physical torment and damage their actions cause. I believe it won't be long until a majority of these pervs also target boys. We are likely there already.

I suffered sexual assault twice, once a predatory paedophile, once a group. The group thought it was hilarious. My views are coloured by personal experience and watching DD through childhood receive lecherous attention.

Finally, there are definitely men - fathers of daughters - who choose to walk this path. The internet makes this filthy behaviour acceptable, whereas 20/30 years ago society could close ranks and attempt to shun these pervs nowadays it's impossible. Things are the most dangerous they've ever been for our children and we're way past the tipping point.

MenuPlant Why is it taking so long to improve?

The dominant voice in society is, and always has been, male. Why aren't some of those plenty of men who don't do this not speaking out against it? Why are they keeping quiet when they know other men are treating/have treated their mothers, sisters, aunts, wives, girlfriends, nieces, daughters like this?

Awful.

I'm glad that I'm old (32) and fat (size 12) now so I'm invisible.

I used to be harassed constantly as a teen.

OTOH the porn business is booming, more obscene than ever

This too, then there's the unregulated webcam porn also.

How do you explain the different levels of street harassment in different countries, and the fact that plenty of men don't behave like this, then?

Are there countries where street harassment is not a problem? Please name this utopia so I can go there.

Also I’d like to know which countries, just because I’m interested. I wonder if it could be Scandi places?

How do you explain the different levels of street harassment in different countries, and the fact that plenty of men don't behave like this, then

They do. The world over.

anothernotherone, what a strange thing to think. ALL words are made up. Misandry is certainly real, I have seen many examples of it towards the men in my life, from friends and not the least on these fora.

I'd recommend teaching her a few phrases like:
"Sorry, I'm too busy with my SCHOOL WORK"
"Do you have a thing for CHILDREN then?"
Said loud enough that everyone in the vicinity can hear.

@DdraigGoch you’d think that would work but given the amount of schoolgirl pornography that saturates the internet, I guess that is not too much of an issue to these men.
My teens are most frequently harassed when in school uniform.

Still in there batting for the men dadshere.

Saw two guys do the very first leery look I'd witnessed in the direction of my cousin this week.

She is a brilliant girl, feisty but a champion of fairness, clever but modest, funny and kind.

Two men nudged each other while we were waiting for a bus near them.

She's beautiful and I know people can sometimes notice her in a "oh gosh what a pretty girl" type thought in their head. In the real world on this occasion the words jailbait, tits and fuck were included from what I made out.

She is 10.

10. Years. Old.

I could have burst into tears but instead decided we would walk and I hoped she hadn't heard them.

She said a little later, pretty causally, "ugh I'm glad we walked instead there were these two pervs looking at me at the stop."

Had a heartbreaking conversation afterwards and seems this isn't even a rare occurrence. And that she already knows to be prepared for it, which is good safety wise but just miserable we live on a world where she needs to be.

I'm so proud of the person she is, she's one of my favourite humans and if I was her age I'd want to be her best friend.

Yet to some people she'll always, always just be a pair of tits on a nice body. It will always fine to scare her for some males showing off with other male mates.

She's got 50+ more years of feeling threatened, panicked and harassed for the sheer nerve of having a vagina.

Stop the world I really want to get off sometimes.

Not RTFT but am away on school trip to Cologne with girls from year 7/8 so essentially 11-13 yo. They are dressed in shorts and vest tops because it's hot. There have been lots of old men leering and one old guy said in German something about wanking his old dick off. To an 11yo. It's absolutely gross. We had some men following our walking tour. It's obvious they are very young. Absolutely gross.

@Leatherflamingle that's the purpose of making it heard by bystanders. It's amazing how some men just wilt away when everyone starts staring.

msT we're in Germany!! However lots of the leering has been from Arab looking men. Sorry if that offends anyone.

This is just such scary and sad reading 😔 I worry for my daughter in many years to come.

Sadly the older l get the more l dislike men...my DD is 13..l am remembering so many horrible comments and such vile behavior from when l was that age. It terrified me as l was so young and sheltered and unsophisticated.

I see her getting stared at, and will always be the embarrasing mum who calls them out.

Good men, who don't do this should call their asshole friends,colleagues and aquaintances out ..every bloody time. Or it will never change.

My BIL is the holder of some very I enlightened views. He once said my OH must enjoy ogling the girlfriend of our son. His attitude to women is Neanderthal.

I think these sorts of men need to be challenged and shamed . Shouting paedophile or pervert would be a start.

We need to teach our kids there is no shame in bellowing 'fuck off peado' in public
Ok doesn't work in less populated areas but when people are around it will draw attention of normal people

I wonder how long it will be before shouting peado will have no effect or not be an insult? If there are so many of them doing it, and the internet and the content that can be viewed and the views expressed in their warped communities normalise it, it will be like water off a duck's back.

I was out with my 7 yo a few weeks back and noticed some stares to the point where I got home and was wondering if she should have been in the clothes she was. Little shorts and tightish t-shirt. Just your standard h&m kids stuff. Sick fucks.

I'm way past my prime (40s, 3 kids) and was walking last week in tracksuit bottoms and a scraggy top to my local shop and the group of workmen on the road started nudging eachother and pointing and i ended up having all 4 of them wilfully just staring at me. I slowed my pace and stared intently at each of them until they looked away.

My point is, I don't think it's about "attractiveness". It's about power and humiliation.

These men are disgusting. I remember being mortified by comments in my teens. And as someone else pointed out, could you imagine grownup women blatantly perving out loud at male children? Don’t know what the answer is but calling them out loudly in public sounds like a good start

It’s about power and humiliation and who owns public space, for sure. It’s our answer to the burka and purdah. It’s anout who gets to express sexuality publicly, no matter how intimidating or disgusting that is. I walk down the street and see plenty of beautiful young men I would like to stare at. I assume them to be young adults tho I admit I can’t be certain. But I don’t do it because it’s rude and might make them uncomfortable. I don’t think it’s my right to gratify myself no matter the impact on others. But men don’t restrain themselves. It doesn’t matter how it makes girls feel, because girls don’t count, and men do.

It’s awful I was out with my niece recently and the attention was making her feel very uncomfortable

I can remember this as it’s not the quick second glance because they have seen an attractive women it’s the staring and the comments that certain men (and there is a lot of them) will make young women and girls uncomfortable it’s deliberate to let us know who is more powerful

Thankfully as we get older there is less of this because these vile men know they can’t get away with it and we tend to become more confident in ourselves

The number if times men in their 40’s came on to me when I was in my 20’s (and very young looking) I would always wonder why would they think I am interested but know I know they didn’t think about how I may have felt it was about their need to feel powerful