To wonder honestly what must go on in the minds of some men?

[VladmirsPoutine]

I've just taken my niece out for lunch. She's 16 and with the arrival of the weather she's been wearing a t-shirt and a mini skirt with her converse. Typical look for your typical teen but for just during lunch alone she was accosted by 2 different men who asked for her number. Both men clearly middle-aged and trying their luck. I admit she does look older than a teen but sheer audacity of these men hitting on a 16 year old girl really riled me.

Were they courteous? No harm done surely, if they were courteous. Unwelcome maybe, but accosted sounds a bit strong

What gives a man the god given right to approach a young woman?!

I mean, I know this is your tribe but if other men actually started calling it out instead of trying to excuse it, it would be a start.

@Kashali

What do you mean by caught out:

My ds have both been caught out like this when they were young and single. The number of 14 year old in bars, I blame the parents not the men.

Were they courteous? No harm done surely, if they were courteous.

Expressing sexual interest in a child is not and could never be considered "courteous". Nor is pressing your attentions on anyone who doesn't want them. Nor is approaching someone when they're trying to go about their business.

The number of 14 year old in bars, I blame the parents not the men.

Ahahhhahaaa, very good.

Were they courteous? No harm done surely, if they were courteous.

Or maybe these pervs could develop a moral compass instead of hitting on children.

I've already said I had unwanted 'attention' from the age of 12, however when I was 15 I became infatuated with a man in his thirties. He was very charismatic and attracted to me. Well I willingly gave in to his charms.

It all came out, my parents were furious with me but went to the police. The cops said it wasn't worth pursuing because it would cause media publicity. I got into all sorts of trouble because of it and he had none. I'd become pregnant during the liaison (which didn't last very long), and he took me to see a doctor to get rid of the baby. When I said I didn't want to do that he said I would go if he had to drag me by the hair.

I was blamed for everything.

To be fair if she looks older than 16, say 19 or older, why shouldn't she be approached, as long as it is done respectfully, and once the men realise she is 16 a hasty retreat is made? I was far too shy to approach men as a teenager and would have remained single if they didn't have the courage to talk to me.

To put the shoe, firmly on the other foot:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1528781-To-think-theres-nothing-wrong-with-having-a-toyboy

To be fair if she looks older than 16, say 19 or older, why shouldn't she be approached, as long as it is done respectfully, and once the men realise she is 16 a hasty retreat is made? I was far too shy to approach men as a teenager and would have remained single if they didn't have the courage to talk to me.

If the man was 19 you might have a fair point. If he was 30 plus then definitely not.

To put the shoe, firmly on the other foot

For fuck’s sake

Yes, ONE thread on MN makes up for years and years of the shit women get at the hands of men.

Calm down everyone, the MRA has arrived 🙄

To put the comma, firmly where it isn't needed.

(Sorry, I use grammar correction to avoid engaging with eejits)

Indeed jacques. I could write a list so long it would bore everyone of the grim hassle I got from 13 onwards from old ie 30 plus men. My 13 year old came home from school only yesterday (girls school) saying school rethinking their games kit as so many girls getting “hooted” as she put it. Is this a problem at the boys school with lecherous 50 something women? Don’t ducking think so times a million

To put the shoe, firmly on the other foot:

Except the crux of this thread is middle-aged pervs targeting children.

@dadshere I don't think that's much of an example really. This thread is about middle aged men hassling very young girls who are just going about their day. If a 19 year old woman wants to go out with a 33 year old man that's up to her and vice-versa.

why shouldn't she be approached, as long as it is done respectfully

And how many men approach girls "respectfully"? If these men were being respectful, they wouldn't even look at someone clearly so much younger than themselves.

I remember this starting when i was 12. At 13 a man in his late 20s started sleazing on me in a supermarket queue until my mum showed up to give him a deathstare! It's grim. Now i'm in my 30s they won't even approach me they are 100% PREYING on the vulnerable, naive, defenseless - eurgh

I am middle aged now. But this happened to me from around 10 years old. I was a small blonde child who looked very young. Countless incidents including an attempted abduction.

We lived in central London and if my mum took me clothes shopping in a department store invariably there would be a man hanging around kids dept telling my mum that they were buying a present for somebody same size, could I try it on. My innocent mum always said yes. Only now do I realise they were perverts.

I am sooooo cynical about any man coming anywhere near a girl from 12 onwards. Admittedly unfair to decent men but they’ve their pervy fellow men to thank for that. Dd2 extremely conventionally attractive. I will be carrying a large umbrella with which to poke any perve that so much as looks at her

kidlitjunkie, SimplySteveRedux

The OP started a thread about her 16 year old, " I admit she does look older than a teen"

If a man genuinely believes he is approaching a 20 year old ( older than a teen ) than he has made an error, that is all. As long as, he then corrects himself by apologising and going away. Some of the comments on here are ridiculous, how on earth would we continue the species if we didn't approach one another? Wait for Bumble?

DarkAtEndOfTunnel
And how many men approach girls "respectfully"? Plenty! Probably the majority.

If these men were being respectful, they wouldn't even look at someone clearly so much younger than themselves.

Absurd. The OP has decided the age of the men, whilst acknowledging that her daughter looks much older than her actual age, could the men in question not be much younger? Of course they could.

dadshere

Bravo. Way to validate shit behaviour from men.

Does anybody actually say something to them?

I remember it started with me from about 12-13. If some creepy middle aged man ogled my DD I'd have to point out the vileness

Yes they are all wide eyed would be youthful romeos whose ickle feelings are hurt when a gorgeous 19 year old isn’t interested. Pull the other one. We (women) know pervy old sleazes when we meet them (sadly all too frequently if you attractive and under 25)

I remember younger adult men (19-25 or so) being like that too back in the mid '80s - talking about "jail bait" and whether we (as 14 or 15 year olds) would be "worth" going to prison for - in our hearing on public transport and a work bus to my summer job [boak]

Mind you I presume that they were the dregs who had no chance with women of their own age who could pick and choose, and so made up for their deep sense of inadequacy by sexually harassing female children.

They've doubtless grown up to be the repulsive middle aged men who leer at female children and young women for the same reasons today, as their dads were doubtless also doing 30 years ago.

Hideous.

The law on the age of consent (possibly relevant here) is not 16 where a teacher or someone in a position of trust is involved, but 18. I thought when this was introduced that this was too vague, and that there should be a different age of consent depending on the age of the other person regardless (a man usually)- say if you are over 21 the age 18 limit should apply.

Reading this thread reinforces my view.